


Do not ever call me by your name

by Lenadavinci



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017), Call Me By Your Name - All Media Types, Call Me by Your Name - André Aciman
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Fluff and Angst, Gay Sex, Kissing, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Neck Kissing, Oral Sex, Sex, Smut, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 20:08:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 47,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15565479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lenadavinci/pseuds/Lenadavinci
Summary: Oliver and Elio meet in New York a year after the events in Italy.They will have a long-awaited reunion.A lot of angst, smut, love confessions are here





	1. The letter

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bellarosa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellarosa/gifts).



> This is my first experience of writing a story in this fandom. I'm very shy and afraid. Your opinion is very important to me. Is it worth continuing or not? Also I really want to thank my good friend bellarosa who helped me with the translation <3  
> Enjoy!

 

Oliver's hand slides over Elio's thin waist, the tips of his fingers caress the delicate skin of the boy's belly, shivers cover his whole body. The hand slides lower, feels the elastic buttocks, gently squeezes them, a sweet moan sounds, fingers penetrate into the compressed buttocks looking for the treasured ring of muscles and gently press penetrating inside. Breathing is more like a sob, Elio's hips involuntarily move forward towards Oliver's greedy fingers. Inside it’s warm and tight, fingers penetrate deeper causing the young man to moan even louder. The wet lips of Oliver’s are caressing Elio's neck higher leaving light marks on his way. Elio's half-opened mouth, which produces the most beautiful sounds, beckons to himself Oliver eagerly digs his lips into his. The young man's moans are drowned out by their wet greedy kiss. Oliver's heart beats so fast that it seems that he is about to jump out of his chest. The heat at the bottom of his abdomen is driving him mad, forcing instinctively to move the hips to the rhythm of the movements of their own hands. He feels the approaching orgasm of his partner. Strengthens pressure accelerates the pace swimming in Elio's moans as in a warm sea.

“Oliver, oh, Oliver!” - a broken cry breaks from his lips.

“Oliver, Oliver, Oliver!”

“Oliver, Oliver, Oliver!” - demanding female voice destroys enticing slumber of sleep pulling a man out of a sweet fantasy.

“Did you have a nightmare? You groaned as if you were tortured!” -  Kat asks anxiously. Oliver, desperately trying to cover up his erection with his erected head, opens his eyes in an attempt to catch his breath and recover.

“Yes, I'm sorry that I woke you up and scared you. So tired from work that it does not allow me to rest even in my dreams. All is well, go back to asleep. I'll go drink some water and I’ll come to my senses.”

“Okay, honey. In my purse there is an easy sleeping pill if you want to sleep without dreams.”

Sleeping without dreams has been a luxury for him lately. Almost every night he finds himself in bed with Elio. This sweet torture has not stopped since the very return from Crema almost a year ago.

During this time, Oliver managed to return to his former life, establish relations with Kat, get a promotion at work, and become the most popular professor among all the professors at Columbia. In short points, he did anything to keep his mind off and not think about Elio. But at night, the subconscious overtook him, showing so vividly what he really wanted him more than anything in the world.

How Oliver managed to make up with Kat, it seems he did not understand it. One evening, after an easy feast with friends, he had just came to her house and almost from the threshold attacked her. The sexual desire that was raging in him was simply vital. Kat seemed the best option. Always polite, friendly and endlessly sweet, she did not deserve such a lousy attitude to herself, but Oliver could not help it. He roughly turned her on her stomach and fucked her into bed tightly closing his eyes. The last six months, Oliver almost lived with her only occasionally running into his apartment. As soon as he crossed the threshold of his own house, a wave of hatred for himself fell upon him with terrifying force. He hated himself for leaving Elio because he never called him from the moment of departure and did not write, for not being able to tell anyone about what happened in Crema, for being so disgustingly received from Kat, in fact trying to replace Elio.

A little breathless and having drunk ice water a sense of reality began to return to Oliver. Hands, it seemed, still hot from touching their beloved skin, were still slightly shaking. But at least an erection has passed and it was possible to return to bed. The beginning of the school year was not far off and a lot of work had to be done. Thoughts on the flow of affairs calmed Oliver and were quite satisfied with his fortune so he went to sleep.

Oliver's office was on the floor with the offices of the other professors of Columbia from the Philosophy Department. Caught in captivity of the working environment Oliver exhaled with relief. The coming hours were to be saturated with the preparation of curricula and the approval of the plan of studies. Rejoicing the opportunity to switch his own attention to work Oliver decided to start with a mail check. A few envelopes were already lying on his desk carefully brought by his Methodist Debbie. Debs was younger and much more buoyant than him. And for a short time of her work at the department Oliver managed to become friends with her.

Seated on a chair, Oliver began to view the mail. The first two letters turned out to be invitations to dinner with Kat's friends. Lying them aside and picking up the third envelope Oliver nearly fell off the chair. The heart made a somersault in the chest when the look touched the sender's address: "Crema. Italy.” With trembling hands Oliver opened the envelope. Just one page neatly folded twice fell out of the envelope. The air was immediately filled with the familiar smell of the villa and peaches. Turning the sheet Oliver was surprised it was only few lines written, apparently, Elio’s father. A few lines that stopped the planet and turned his whole world upside down.  

"Dear Oliver, I know from colleagues that you have excelled at the department and I congratulate you on that. I hasten to inform you that Elio entered Columbia and will study at the History Department. He moved to New York with my sister in August. I hope that you can look after my son and help him. He never admits that he needs help, but being alone in a foreign city is a great stress. And to have a friend next to him will be for a good help and support. I hope that you will see and establish contact with him soon. I'll be looking forward to hearing from you."

"Dear God, Elio is already in New York for almost a month, wanders through the streets of my city. Maybe he already was at the university, saw my office, saw me ?!” - A stream of thoughts completely captured Oliver.

“God, he's very close.” A knock at the door brought him to life.

"Yes, come in."

"Boss, your perfect girl called here and ... Wait, what's wrong, what happened?" - Debs asked him obviously noticed the confusion on Oliver’s face.

"Just the news about the visit of an old friend. Long time no see. I'm a little excited.”

“Mmmm, a friend? Do you have friends except me, silent ones?”

"It's not funny, Debs. Can I ask you to do something for me?”

“Of course.”

"Can you get me a list of students at the Faculty of History? Results of their introductory, selected subjects and list of classes?”

“Of course! Stanley from the historical will give me anything.” - She winked slyly. – “Why such interest in students of the historical? You decided to leave me for Molly?”

"Come on, Debs, you're stuck with me forever. My Interest is purely professional, if you insist. Can I fulfill my request as soon as possible? This is really important.”

“OK OK. I'm leaving. And yet I want to learn about the mythical "friend" better.”

"I'd like that," Oliver thought as she disappeared behind the door. Of course she will not tell anyone about his request and you can always refer to the admiration for the layout of the classes by Professor Avery if someone inquires about his assignment for Debs.

Leaning back in his chair Oliver took a deep breath. The past from which he himself hid in the depths of his own subconscious overtook him. What to do when he inevitably collides with Elio in the corridor? Professor Perlman must have sent this letter for sure knowing that if Oliver is not warned, maybe a new teacher will have a heart attack.

It was obvious that it would not work today, thoughts kept coming back to Elio. Oliver could not help thinking about how he would see him, how the young man would react; about how he would approach him in a deserted corridor, how he would put his hand into his hair pull the curls downwards as Elio's lips would open and show his moist and stirring tongue ... Damn, the thoughts about it had a completely predictable result and it seems that all the blood in Oliver's body decided to go straight to his penis. Making sure that the door of the office were locked, Oliver decided to continue his fantasies caressing himself.

And now Oliver's hands are already greedily tearing off the T-shirt from the boy, he makes a quiet prolonged groan from which his legs are weakened. Man`s mouth quickly finds Elio's right nipple gently traces his tongue slightly biting. Hands ready to break the flesh of the lover into tatters already tightly grasping his erection. A gentle whisper to the left ear “Take me, Oliver!” - and the man is ready to literally bite into Elio's neck. Moving wet kisses to the earlobe, Oliver makes the entire body of the boy grow goosebumps. And his hands continue to push him slowly to orgasm. Elio`s dick in the hands of Oliver’s is so hot, he is strained to the limit the young man is moving towards the manipulations of Oliver making more and more loud groans. Another couple of movements and the peak of excitement is poured out into the hands of Oliver simultaneously with his own load.

Heavy breathing after discharge Oliver can not believe that he just masturbated in his office how to pinch the boy in a dark corner. He definitely needs a drink.


	2. The meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to Bellarosa for the help in the translation

Three weeks in August passed for Elio imperceptibly full of new impressions, acquaintances and emotions; he greedily absorbed the energy of the metropolis. He liked this city, it is like a breath of fresh air after Cream. After last summer he became a hostage to the villa and the memories that hung in it. In every room, under every tree, he seemed  to find _him_.

After the departure  from Oliver, Elio could not find a place for several months  and was  in a  deep depression. At some point, he became disgusted  by himself. Having looked once in the mirror, and seeing nothing there but a miserable boy with eyes wet from constant tears, he decided that he would be enough. He decided that he should escape from this house full of ghosts of past happiness, which now brings nothing but pain. Of course, Elio was risking when he decided to  go to Columbia,  he  risked meeting  him.  But he was determined to start a life with a new sheet pretending that he and his former lover did not associate anything  more than a strong friendship.

An advance move to New York greatly helped Elio in the implementation of his plans. Having occupied a small but cozy room in his Aunt Mae's apartment he received not only a new home but also a new life full of new hopes.

Of course, the ghosts of the past still visited him. Sometimes he imagined a familiar blond hair in the crowd and his heart was uncomfortably compressed blocking the access of oxygen. The nights after such "meetings with ghosts" flowed sweetly painfully full of rushing memories of  him and  his hands clutching the boy's waist.

Elio, refusing to be a victim, decided that studying would distract him enough  so  that the ghost did not stop him from happy living, therefore plunged into the study of the city. He even met a couple of nice people. Several neighbors  on the stairwell: a saleswoman in the store across the street, a pair of aunt May's friends. But the most pleasant surprise was the acquaintance with Derek. 

Derek - the bartender of the coffee shop across Columbia turned out to be a pleasant, cheerful and damn attractive guy. This was very useful, because Elio thought that a new love interest will do him good. Moreover, Derek did not make ambiguous hints inadvertently touching Elio, which pleasantly excited the boy.

On that August evening Elio went to the coffee shop to Derek  for a walk together in the park after his shift. 

Turning to the st reet where the coffee house was Elio froze unable to step. 

Directly in front of him from this coffee house was the main ghost of the past. He came out with a glass of coffee and a bunch of papers under his arm. Oliver, as if frozen in time did not change at all from their last meeting, except that the whole tan had come to naught. The same blond hair, long arms, broad shoulders, and he even wore that dark blue shirt which he worein Crema. Elio's hands involuntarily clenched into fists, mouth dry, breathing quickened and he felt dizzy. This time he did not dream it. His ghost stood before him in real life. Unable to look away he followed every movement of his "ghost." Elio was not ready for this meeting so he hurriedly turned away and stared at the sidewalk cursing himself for his weakness. Fortunately, Oliver did not notice a piercing glance and went to the opposite side of the boy.

Barely breathing  Elio broke into the coffee shop where  Derek was already waiting for him .

“ Hey, hello! Oh! You are pale.  Are you sick?”

“No , I'm fine. Just a little tired walking around the city. I think I  got a sunstroke”

“Can we go to your place today instead of the park?”\- Elio asked, deciding that his reaction to Oliver's appearance was disgusting. He felt weak; all those painful memories of summer flooded him with renewed vigor. He wanted to lie on the floor and curl up in pain. _"I'm weak, what a weakling I am,"_ Elio thought to himself. "Damn it, I promised myself to be strong. I knew it wo uld happen. What the hell do I want to burst into tears and run away?”  - Resentment and anger at himself already drew in brunette's head a plan for possible psychological unloadingincluding a dive into Derek's with his head. 

A bit taken aback the barman smiled slightly and nodded.

As soon as the apartment door slammed behind them Elio grabbed Derek by the collar of his shirt and pressed greedily to his lips. Derek smiled through the kiss and deepened it burying his hands in Elio's hair. Their kiss echoed across the room. Derek finally came off breathless.

"What's wrong with you?  No, do not think I'm glad that we clarified  the nature of our relationship  but what suddenly happened to you? ” - He asked stroking Elio's hair.

"I just thought  I wanted you. Is it bad? ”

Derek was slightly below Elio, his dark hair barely touching the lobes of his ears and the tattoo on the side of his neck markedly out  him of the crowd. Derek `s shape was not very different from his lover , thin waist, long arms, protruding clavicles and infinitely long eyelashes.

“It's a little unexpected. But I'm quite happy” - he said again leaning forward to kiss Elio.

"We can’t rush, if you want. But I'm ready to throw you on the bed right now if you do not mind” \- Resentment and anger at himself successfully changed to lust and passion according to plan. Elio wanted to press his whole body against Derek's skin, inhale his smell, and cuddle his lips to the most intimate of his places. 

"I do not mind at all. Your erection is too much against mine . Bedroom is on the  right; condoms  are  in the b edside table as the lube . Come on! ”

 

* * *

 

“Damn, who decided to put the bedside table at the entrance to the bedroom?”

The fall was inevitable because both participants in the action were more than busy and did not look at where they were being carried. Naturally, the guys laughed. Not every day you fall on the floor in an embrace with your lover in the process of mutual undressing. 

Elio only prayed to himself that this sweet moment did not destroy the spell, and his plan did not go to waste. Derek really liked him. He was cute and considerate , always said what he thinks. The starving teenager's body reacted to the forthcoming possible closeness even too violently so perhaps an easy respite will do them good.

"Damn, I've wanted to move this table a long time ago. Seems it's time” - hardly breathing with laughter squeezed out Derek.

"You did not hurt yourself? Of course I`m not a giant but still quite heavy and fell right at you ” - Elio was really worried.

“ No, everything is okay. I like to feel the weight of your body on me”

This Elio could understand very well. It was so impossible for him to feel the full weight of Oliver aware of how much less than his lover. "It's not the time to think about Oliver. Concentrate on Derek, dammit” - Elio tried to persuade himself.

"You've been so silent all this time. I did not expect to attract your attention in this way. I only dreamed about friendship. Not everyone has a sexy Italian as their friends you know”

“ I just did not completely leave the move  so sometimes I'm in my thoughts, but I liked it in this sense from the first meeting " \-  Elio mumbled to Derek's lips, then kissed passionately deciding that they were talking enough.

Elio got up and gave Derek a hand,  moved close to the ruffled guy and covered his lips with his. It seems that the  brain  was finally disconnected  and the primitive instincts have come into force because finally Elio exhaled breathlessly giving himself up to the excitement until the very end.

Elio jerked Derek`s shirt off then furiously threw his jeans on the strap pushing his hand into fly at the guy. A quiet groan which had broken off from his partner's mouth finally brought Elio crazy: he almost flung the guy on the bed. His chosen one was lying in front of him only in his underwear, his head was disheveled, he was breathing heavily and flushed. Elio instantly ripped off the rest of his clothes and began to kiss any open piece of his partner's body. Their heavy breathing filled the room Derek's groans seemed to be heard in the next apartment.

"If you do not get a lube now I swear I'll decide that you're a sadist and you're just kidding " - the barman could hardly say.

Elio obediently extended his hand sideways groping for a nightstand breathing out low  because he could not find what he was looking for not stopping from the constant wet kisses. A light chuckle that Derek issued  looking at Elio's disappointed face added even more courage to the boy.

Prior to this evening, Elio acted in such role only once with Oliver: in their second night,  then the active role secretly passed to Oliver than as it seemed to Elio he was extremely pleased. Therefore, Derek's pliable behavior in bed pleasantly excited the boy.

Squeezing a little lube on his fingers Elio reached out to Derek's cherished place without stopping to kiss him. Feeling a tightly compressed ring of muscles Elio slightly pressing began to circle with his fingers which made Derek finally lose his breath  turning into a stream of groans. Knowing this feeling perfectly, Elio leaning forward and pressing himself even closer to the guy launched the first finger inside. A real loud and prolonged groan escaped Derek's lips. Elio could not believe that this was the result of his actions. Slightly strengthening the pressure and succumbing to a rushing outward rush Elio bit his partner's neck leaving a visible mark. Derek's  replying breaths did not give reason to doubt that he liked it. Continuing to smoothly stretch the ring of the partner's muscles Elio began to randomly bite the skin of the kid there and then.

"Good , it’s amazing! I want you. Now, please! I'm ready!”

He did not need to repeat it twice. He leaned back on his knees  pulled his fingers from his partner reached for the already familiar bedside table took out condoms tore one folding the rest next to the bed.

“ Can I?” -  Derek asked softly.

Not knowing what his lover wants from him, Elio nodded. In this state he was ready to respond with consent to anything. The guy just reached for the condom in Elio's hands ripped the package and without taking his eyes off the  lover's eyes put it on his lover`s dick . Bewitched by such outright vulgarity of action  Elio began to  forcefully kiss the boy pushing his legs wider  settling between them. Sighing heavily Elio pressed Derek's sprained muscles onto the ring, drowning the tearing moan with a kiss. A familiar feeling of pleasure and pain echoed trying to break through Elio's head, but he tried to force away any thoughts about the previous experience. 

After letting him get used to her partner a little Elio came in one smooth push to the end.  It was so tight and warm inside. After a muffled groan Elio slowly began to thrust his hips into the guy's thirsty discharge body in front of him. At first, smoothly and gently, then quickly and rigidly Elio penetrated the lover with force.  Derek groaned indecently loudly repeatedly shouting out the name of his beloved, calling on the Lord, and indiscreetly swearing. Sensing the approaching orgasm Elio tightly gripped Derek `s dick and slowly began to move it in time to his trusts. A pair  of light movements with a brush and Derek came on his stomach with a loud groan. By the time the approaching wave of detente overtook Elio. Grabbing one  hand over the neck of his lover Elio  came.

Breathing heavily and exhausted Elio fell on Derek without bothering to pull out of him.

“Wow! Just wow!”-  Derek said with a long breath. "I do not want to interrupt our moment of tendernss, but I think you'd better pullout of me."

"Hell, I'm sorry." - holding the condom Elio slowly pulled his dick out of the body of his lover, threw the used condom on the floor, and with a deaf moan fell on the bed next to the guy.

“ It was cool! ” \- Elio sounded like a boy's voice.

“ Completely agree with you. And I  cannot help but be amazed at the truthfulness of the saying that in the quiet pool the devils are found.

"I was not too ... m ... rude?"

"Despite a couple of bruises on my body, I can see that I do not mind at all and a little later after resting a little I would repeat it all again. But for now, I want to hug you insanely”

Elio obediently moved close to Derek lying his head on his chest quietly closed his eyes, putting himself a thought tick fully satisfied that he still managed to do this without thinking too much about Oliver.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All your comments are much appreciated


	3. Special cocktail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will the first real meeting between Oliver and Elio end?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how the education system works in the US, so I apologize if I write nonsense in this regard.

Elio woke up when it was already completely dark outside the window. He neatly stretched, rolled over to the other side making sure that Derek was peacefully sleeping by his side. Illumination of the night city penetrating into the room through not drawn curtains laid down crumpled highlights on the interior details of the room. Derek's face looked peaceful in his sleep radiated with peace and tranquility. Elio has not felt this good for a long time. Frankly, he almost forgot what it is. Since last summer he has made pathetic attempts to start a relationship but as far as today it definitely did not go down. Therefore, it will be fair to admit that the presence of a real lover instead of his right hand was very pleased.

A stream of thoughts circled in Elio's head. Some pride he took to himself that he could so easily engage in shockingly good sex with a damn attractive guy, bring this guy to orgasm, make him moan so sweet ... mixed with a sense of guilt for what caused this behavior. Perfectly aware that one day he is waiting for a meeting with Oliver, Elio sighed heavily. Was it fair to Derek to behave this way? It seems that he saw Elio right through and clearly pretended to agree with the guy's version of "have a long thought and now finally decided." Derek was not a fool, and for sure he understood that it was no accident, but he did not ask unnecessary questions which was extremely pleasing to Elio because he did not want to answer them at all. Deciding for himself that with his emotional state it will be much easier to cope with if Derek will be there he plunged into the idea of how their first meeting with Oliver would take place.

Now he is exactly ready for it and will not run away where his eyes look but can stand looking straight into his ex-lover`s eyes.

* * *

 

Having received from Dabs the coveted pile of personal files, Oliver hastened to find the most treasured folder for which everything was started. Quickly finding the right folder Oliver opened the personal file of the former lover with trembling hands.

There was Elio's photograph on the top, apparently made before filing the documents, and it was not so long ago. Oliver swallowed involuntarily looking at familiar features. Elio apparently matured having matured and changed greatly. That age, in which every month the body is changing more and more, inevitably affected it. The boy's hair had grown to almost his shoulders fancifully sticking to the sides with unruly curls. The shoulders became wider, neck thicker, and although this was not visible in the photo, but Oiver was sure that Elio was a little taller. The obvious changes in his appearance, however, did not change his gaze, his eyes with the corners slightly lowered. It was evident that his skin was still white and crystal. Oliver's heart made a slow swaying in the air, being full of warm feelings, so unexpectedly surging upon the owner of the photo.

Perlman, Elio.

March 17, 1966, Milan, Italy.

History department. Specialization: the history of ancient Greece.

Subjects:

  * Fundamentals of Archeology
  * Fundamentals of Ethnology
  * History of ancient Greece (periods)
  * Crito-Mycenaean (Aegean) - the end of the III-end of II millennium BC;
  * Homeric - XI-IX centuries. BC.;
  * Archaic - VIII-VI centuries. BC.;
  * Classical - 500-323 years. BC.;
  * Hellenistic - 323-30 years. BC.
  * History of philosophy
  * Philosophy of ancient Greece



The last two points made Oliver literally jump from the chair. He leads both of these subjects, which means he will see Elio as his student at least twice a week. He wonders if the boy knows about this.

Following Elio's schedule, there was information about the financial provision of education (which was fully paid by his parents), his current home address (literally a couple of blocks from Oliver's apartment!), the results of entrance examinations and selected electives ("excellent" in all directions).

In each line of this piece of document Oliver more and more recognized his last year's interlocutor. Elio chose far from a small list of basic, and a lot of additional items, he must be spending at the university almost all day. Only days off remained free to which students usually leave to stormy parties and parties before the morning. Apparently, Elio did not want to lag behind his fellow students and left two days free from classes.

The news that Oliver is to be the teacher of Elio completely destroyed him. Of course, he was a professional in his field and would not allow any personal feelings to influence future assessments of his student, but would he be able to calmly conduct lectures before a full audience of students, knowing that one of them is one for whom his heart still misses ?

Today, Oliver, more than ever didn`t want to go to Kat. The news struck him too much, knocked him out of the rut. He just needed to be alone with a bottle of whiskey.

Closing the door behind him and not bothering to change into the pajamas Oliver hammered on the sofa in an embrace with the bottle. He opened it, drank straight from the throat enjoying the burning taste. Yes, this is definitely what he needs right now. Just a little to forget and relax. Oliver simply could not imagine what to do next. He had, not just a meeting with Elio, but a long and methodical communication, to which he was clearly not ready. The last year without him passed as if in a fog was a real torture.

 

Now he knew from what he had so persistently fled all this time, persistently overtook him and this inevitably inflicted panic on his mind. This whole year was full of work, full of deeds, with which it was so good to be distracted from the constant thoughts about him. Yes, at night, wet dreams awaited him, but they did not affect his productivity, so Oliver did not even mind.

These half-memories, half-fantasies are the few that he had left since last summer. Elio is here. And it changed everything. A crazy idea of a possible near-byness, about a conversation, maybe a kiss climbed into the subconscious of Oliver. And then again Elio will be in his bed, move towards him, they will furtively meet, keeping this common secret, and at night they will completely stop sleeping splashing out each day's desire.

But what about Kat, work, obligations? What to do with all this? Teachers are strictly forbidden to meet with students, it is threatened with dismissal. And Kat? She certainly did not deserve to be abandoned. The heat of the bitter whiskey took Oliver's gloomy thoughts a little giving freedom to more iridescent fantasies. He thought about how he would kiss Elio, pressing him against the wall in front, how he would bend over the back of the couch pulling down his trousers and greedily pass his tongue between his buttocks, tie the boy's hands to the head of the bed and caress him all night ... Finally, Oliver hardly found the strength to undress and collapse into bed together with a hard caused by an abundance of fantasy in his head.

* * *

 

The next morning Elio woke up in Derek's arms tightly pressed against him with his whole body.

"Hey, good morning, handsome!"  - Derek said.

“Good morning. How did you sleep?”

“After such an amazing sex? Just fine. And you, slept well? If you want, we can still roll around, my shift is in 2 hours. We can still do a lot.”

“Yes, perhaps, I'm not against anything else. Then with pleasure, I’ll take you to work, where I dream to get a cup of delicious coffee and a couple of buns from my personal bartender.”

"Oh, your personal bartender does not mind at all. But, I propose to start the day with my special cocktail”

"Do you really think it's worth starting a day with alcohol?"

“And I'm not talking about alcohol” - Derek slowly grinned into Elio's ear. –“My signature cocktail “Say “no” to the morning hard-on"

Derek disappeared under the veil with these words lying Elio on his back and covering his belly with hot kisses. Derek's hands stroked Elio's chest unhurriedly while his barman was arranged more conveniently between the legs of the lover. Hot barman's lips dug into Elio's pale sensitive skin causing him to tremble and involuntarily arch his back.

"Did someone tell you that you have such a damn beautiful dick?"

“No, but it seems that one barman mentioned yesterday that it is quite good at work.”

"Oh, yes, he's very good! And beautiful. You know…” and pulls it to lick.

Elio winced feeling Derek's tongue on the head of his penis. He slowly licked the most sensitive part of it causing goosebumps all over his body. Derek moved his lips slowly, first working only at the head, stroking the inner sides of Elio's thighs with his hands, then plunging into his mouth more and more until the entire lover's dick was in his mouth. Elio began to moan loudly and went simultaneously reflexively pushing deeper into the lover's throat. Feeling an enjoyable delight with every movement of Derek's head, Elio ran his hands into his hair pulling slightly, pulling a sweet dream out of the mouth of his lover. The peak of pleasure was already close, Elio was pushing harder into the partner's mouth, squeezing his hair with his fingers.

"Damn, I'm coming, dammit!"

Orgasm flowed a white viscous stream into Derek's throat, he swallowed everything to the last drop very pleased with himself.

While Elio was in post-orgasmic nirvana, the barman rose with kisses on his body towards his lips and greedily kissed him.

“Well, how do you like my cocktail? Leave a review?” - Derek asked with a smirk.

"It seems to be the best thing I've ever tried in my life! Where can I write a letter of thanks?”

“Visit us again together with your ideal cock is the best gratitude.”

“We will certainly come.”

The guys continued to lie around for a while in the arms in the bed until the hour for the work was over. Having taken a shower together and dressed up in running the newly-made lovers rushed to the coffee shop.

* * *

 

Waking up with a terrible headache, Oliver was able to take a cold shower barely finding a pill at home. A terrible sense of guilt, which is the constant companion of any hangover in the morning, made Oliver call Kat and apologize for not coming yesterday.

Checking the schedule, Oliver was relieved to find that there are no general meetings scheduled for today, which means that people will not have to breathe in his hangover smell. Hurriedly gathering, Oliver went to the university deciding to drop into his favorite coffee shop for a huge glass of hangover coffee which it was what he needed even more than air.

Turning to the coffee shop Oliver froze in place almost getting a heart attack. He saw two guys clearly enjoying the conversation and each other near the entrance from the opposite side.

Oliver recognized Elio as one of them and forgot how to breathe. The boys were walking, discussing something and giggling vigorously winking at each other. They did not held hands, but barely touched each other's fingers and every now and then burst into laughter gently shrugged each other's shoulders.

When, finally Elio noticed _HIM._ All the joy from his matured face instantly evaporated giving way to the unknown for Oliver emotions on his face. As in the photo in the personal file, Elio's hair lying unruly ringlets is strong in the industry, he really stretched, became wider in the shoulders and neck, but compared to Oliver, he still looked small and skinny.

The guy next to him stared at him in surprise, not understanding the reason for such an obvious change of mood. They stood as if stumped stupidly looking at each other not daring to take a step.

Elio first came to his senses, smiling and holding out his hand taking a step toward the meeting.

"Oliver! My God, how long has it been since I last saw you!  I did not expect to see you here at all. Do you often hang in here?”

"Ohhhh”  - Oliver tried to remember how to talk barely remembering how to breathe.

"Ah, I'm not so polite. You do not know each other. Well, we'll fix it, Oliver; this is Derek - my _boyfriend_. Derek, this is Oliver, my good friend. Last summer he passed an internship with my father in our villa in Italy” - Elio spoke in a very casual way.

Oliver, still trying to come to himself and frankly not understanding what was happening, was only able to reach Derek and say hello.

"Nice to meet you, Oliver. I see you often in our coffee house. And since we are friends now do not hesitate to approach me at the bar and ask for drinks without queue " - the bartender said smilingly.

"Yes, thank you” - Oliver finally regained consciousness uttered through his teeth.

“Oh my, you'll excuse me, but I must go. My shift started just like 5 minutes ago.  I'm waiting for you for coffee and rolls, Elio" - Derek said and disappeared through the doorway of the coffee shop.

"I'm really glad to see you. How are you?” - Elio said slowly and very quietly.

"And I'm glad to see you. I'm a bit shocked, as you can see, but overall, it's normal. I teach at Columbia, I run, I go to the gym, I’m writing a book and in the evenings I get drunk on whiskey, I'm cured in the morning from a hangover of coffee and I miss you ... I dream about you, about us.

"Do not say that, please. It’s all in the past. We will have to see each other quite often. And, I'm not sure, but maybe I'll even be your student. Therefore, it's all superfluous and I suggest pretending that we are old friends which, by the way, is also true and we can live peacefully with our lives.

"Just so easy, right away? You have been three weeks in New York and you already have a boyfriend? Why didn’t you call to let me know you arrived? - the flood of insults from where the offense came rushed through Oliver outside.

“Well, you are my role model who did not bother to communicate with me over the past year...”

"Elio, I ... I'm sorry ... I did not mean to ..."

"Oliver, stop it! It's no longer important. Excuse me but I have not had breakfast yet and I'm going to fix it, " - Elio said heading for the entrance to the coffee shop.

"Stop, Elio, Elio." - Oliver tried to call him, but without any reaction, he decided to take extreme measures.

"Oliver!"

Elio froze. He turned to Oliver looked at him with eyes full of rage and said barely audible: “Never call me by your name again” - he turned and slammed the door of the coffeehouse behind him with force.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to my friend Bellarosa for the help with the translation. I will be glad to any of your comments! Thank you.


	4. Holy Debby

Oliver literally broke into his office not seeing anything in front of him with a throbbing pain in his head. His head ached, pain throbbing blows were heard all over his body, his throat was dry and it seemed that he wanted to sob more than breathe. Oliver leaned against the locked door of the office, his face buried in his lap. Hell, he did not expect this turn of events. Elio not only grew noticeably and matured, but did not want to have anything to do with him. In addition to this, he even had a boyfriend! This guy was obviously close enough with Elio, at least their behavior about it was just screaming. The thought of Elio in bed with another man caused nausea. No, it just cannot be, Elio would not let anyone touch him after what happened between them. But why, in fact, not? And only he alone was guilty. He really did not bother to never call Elio, nor write, nor even pass the news through his parents. It's his entire fault! The desire of the vomit was too much and Oliver hurried to rise from the floor and run to the toilet where he almost past out.

While Oliver struggled with the consequences of hangover as he thought, he could not stop thinking about how handsome his former lover was, and how cold and full of rage was his gaze. _"I spoiled everything by myself. I am the one to blame for everything "_ \- this thought made the stomach turn inside out. "But how could I have acted differently? Elio, my beautiful Elio was too young. Tying a man to his age is a real crime. To deprive all joys of youth and doom to eternal struggle with the opinion of society? "- repeated to himself a man. "To stay friends" after all this was not possible. Oliver remembered the boy's eyes too well on the platform. His eyes crashed into his memory forever. A look full of completely crazy love and a killing pain.

Unintentionally, Oliver remembered their last night in Rome. These narrow streets, drunken people, crazy sex ... Elio was overwhelmingly submissive; his body responded to every touch of Oliver that he wanted to scream with happiness. Each movement of the man was accompanied by a shiver throughout the body of Elio. Oliver remembered how they entered the room drunk with wine and desire. The man's hands quickly slipped over the body of the boy who responded with a slight trembling and moan. Wet full of frank passion kisses did not leave any chance for sober thinking and constructive planning of actions. Oliver hurriedly but firmly took off Elio`s T-shirt, pulled off his trousers leaving the boy in only underwear. Hard by the time Elio`s cock has already been all in a precum. All flushed with blush breathing heavily and bending over to meet his lover Elio pushed his hips into Oliver's leg. The boy tried to take off his shirt but as with their first night his hands were shaking treacherously and refused to obey. He had one complete desire. The desire of _HIM_ in his body. Oliver quickly pulled off his shirt and pants along with the underwear throwing them aside. He grabbed Elio by the hips and literally threw him on the bed. Glaring at his protruding collarbones Oliver sharply in one movement ripped off the boy's underwear leaving him alone with a night`s silence. Panting with desire Oliver rushed to cover the whole body of Elio with kisses. The boy moaned indecently loudly continuing to move his hips instinctively which best of all spoke about his desires. The man did not hesitate with the preparation putting two fingers to Elio's mouth and exhaling softly to his lips: "Lick!". Elio began to lick his fingers with fury plunging them farther into his mouth. Oliver completely lost control and grabbed the boy's neck by a second hand. He began to groan slightly squeezing his fingers from the excitement that had fallen on him.

“You're driving me crazy! You're fucking driving me crazy! Elio, I want you!”

"I'm yours, Oliver. _All_.”

Finally distracted with desire Oliver took his fingers from Elio's mouth with one movement directed them to his entrance and with one sharp movement entered into it. The loud groan that betrayed Elio's obvious pain could not stop him and Oliver only increased his pressure. Turning his fingers inside Elio he continued to kiss the boy desperately.

"Oh God, Oliver, more, more!" - Elio growled right into his mouth the pain of which left no trace.

Oliver took his fingers out of the already well-prepared kid, fell down between his legs and began caressing his tongue with a desire to clutch the muscles. Oliver saw Elio clutching the sheets with his fingers in a desperate attempt to redirect his groans into physical tension in his hands. Meanwhile Oliver pushed Elio no longer with his fingers but with his tongue. Each of his movements reflected a sob of pleasure from above.

Having made sure that the boy is completely relaxed and ready. Oliver turned him abruptly onto his stomach slightly spreading his legs. Elio who did not see anything and did not know what was happening to him was ready for everything his lover was going to do with him. Oliver squeezed his palms in his and raised it above his head leaning against the head of the bed. Man wrapped his cock with his second hand and placed it in the muscle ring. With a slow, slow thrust Oliver entered Elio. After giving the boy time to get used to his size he leaned forward pressing his whole body against Elio. There was not a single area of skin where they would not touch each other. Oliver leaned against Elio's neck slowly making the first full friction the answer to which was a long and drawn-out groan. The man's lips began to lick the boy's neck while his thighs built up his pace. Each new movement was faster and stronger than the previous one. It could not last long. Both men were already at the edg even at the very beginning. Oliver could feel how an orgasm overtook his lover, how a tight ring of muscles contracted around his cock, how his breathing quickened, and how groans grew louder. The man covered Elio's lips with his slightly biting them continuing to thrust into the boy. Elio desperately tried not to come earlier than his lover. But the fight was unsuccessfully lost as soon as Oliver gently and went whispered in his ear: "Cum for me, baby!" Convulsions of the whole body recalled the overtaken pleasure of Elio forcing Oliver to push deeper grasping for his peak of pleasure. The man exhaled slowly realizing that he had just brought his lover to orgasm without hands. This awareness was enough for his own orgasm, which convulsed throughout his body. Lovers began to kiss passionately out of breath continuing to swim on the waves of their own pleasure.

Soon Elio fell asleep peacefully never turning over on his back. Oliver did not come to sleep. The man was unable to close his eyes. After all, if you close them, this day will end, and the time of parting will come, but he definitely was not ready for that. Then, standing at night on the balcony Oliver thought about how he might persuade Elio's parents to let him go with him, how they would live together, wake up in the morning in the same bed, read each other and cook together. The night's coolness of Rome did not dare drive these thoughts away. Oliver turned around, sat down on the side of the bed glancing at Elio and could not drive away completely other thoughts. How they cannot just embrace in the street, how the passers-by will stare at them, how they will hide their feelings from everyone, how a boy will hear the word that forever break his heart one day. For the first time in his life, Oliver was really scared. It's terrible for what he could doom another man and how much he loved that boy who was sleeping next to him.

 

* * *

 

 

"Boss, are you okay?" Can I come in? Boss ?! - Debs's voice rang out. "Oliver, if you do not answer, I'll knock the door open!"

"Hush, Debs. Now open."

The man had to rise from the floor, shake himself off and open the door to Debs.

"God, Ollie, what's wrong with you?  You're pale as a ghost. Are you sick? Can call a doctor? " - Debs asked.

"I'm fine, Debs. I ate something wrong."

«Yeah, of course. Do not take me for a stupid, Ollie. I perfectly feel the divine smell flying around the room. Whiskey is difficult with something to confuse, my friend. Well, why are we so ruffled? " - Debs said, already holding out a glass of water and a pill from the head that had come from nowhere.

"It's just a awful day."

"You do not know how to lie. I see right through you and it's more than that, boss. You did not think that maybe it will be easier for you if you tell someone what happened to you? And you do not have to sink your pain in wine. And we will expel the persistent smell of whiskey from your office."

"I ... cannot Debs. It's personal and it's not just about me, so I do not have the right to tell you anything."

"O Gods, Oliver! What kind of nonsense are you talking about? No, sit down and lay out. And I will not leave until I hear everything! And I'll understand if you're lying! "

"You cannot leave me, can you?"

"No way, Ollie. So go ahead!"

Resisting Dabs was above his strength, especially in this state. Therefore, Oliver decided to tell everything at last. Moreover, in the words of his friend there was a share of common sense.

 

"Oh my God, boss, well, you are a fool!" - Only and gave out Dabs, when Oliver finally as a spirit told her everything. He told about Elio, about his miserable year without him, about his fears and about the barely held meeting of course.

"I know Debs. I spoiled it all by myself. I am guilty like no other. But what could I do? "

"Well, I do not know, Ollie, to be with your beloved person and not run away from yourself and your feelings, for example?"

"My God, what are you? Yes, you alone in the whole city do not consider me a pervert and do not look suspiciously."

"Ollie, in what century do you live? And what's the difference, dammit? What do you care about someone else's opinion if you are with your loved one?"

"It sounds very nice Debs in words, but think for yourself, what about my career, my family, his future life - all this would surely have gone to the bottom."

"No, Ollie, and how did you manage to become a philosophy teacher being such an idiot? What do you care if he is not with you?"

"Debs, I ... Even if I can do something, he's quite happy. I will not disturb him. Besides, it's too late. He found himself with whom he feels good, and I ... "

"Stop, stop, stop! And I do not want to hear anything! Apparently the fact that you just told me, Ollie, this boy hardly forgot you. Perhaps he tries to live his life like that. But he did not forget you, I give a tooth. And you just have to fight! Oliver, do you hear? _You have to fight for him!_ "- Dabs cried jumping to his feet in fury.

"Hush! Hush! The whole department will be here from your screams! Do you really think I still have a chance?"

"My God, of course! Oliver, you will return Elio, I'm sure!"

"Debs, I just do not know where to start, how do I talk to him after that, what should I do?"

"First, talk to Kat."

"Damn, Katherine!"

"And you still doubt whether the game is worth it? Yes, you did not remember about the girl with whom you practically live. You`re an asshole, of course, but it says a lot. "

"You're right. Today I will meet with Kate and talk. But otherwise, I think I'll need your help. I do not know how you can save anything from these ashes."

"I was not going to leave you, my friend. We will return your Elio to you with small little steps. And I will be rewarded with a happy boss, who will own me a lot of gifts.

"You're wonderful! Thank you for being my friend Debs. I do not know what to do without you."

"You'd get drunk and choke on your own vomit."

"Debs"

"OK OK. Today you are useless here, so go to your apartment, sleep a little more, come to yourself, brush your teeth three times and talk to your soon-to-be ex-girlfriend. I'll sort out the mail and edit the schedule for you. Anyway, I can handle it faster."

"You're Saint Debs!"

"Come on, go!"

For the first time in a year Oliver's soul was became easier at least a little but it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be grateful for any feedback


	5. It's not you, it`s me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE thanks for Bellarosa for her help in the translation

Waking up after 4 hours in his apartment, Oliver finally realized that he felt better and the hangover receded. Guided by the Debbs’ plan, he brushed his teeth twice, took a cold shower, grabbed a light bite and sat in front of the phone full of determination to dial Kat's number.

“Hello”

"Katherine, hello, this is Oliver. Do you have a minute?”

“Of course”

“I would like for us to meet today. You're not busy?”

"I thought you would come today as usual. Aren’t you coming?”

“ No. Let's meet in the Central Park an hour later at that kiosk with hot dogs that you hate?”

“ Oh, a date! Yes, I will come!” - Kat answered with delight, which made Oliver's stomach cringe uncomfortable.

“OK. Later!”

“ Later!”

Oliver acted badly of course, but he was not going to break up with the girl on the phone. Katherine deserved an explanation.

An hour later, Oliver stood in the appointed place pretty worried. Katherine, who appeared from afar, looked simply amazing. A long light dress slightly covering her knees, light sandals and a handbag in the tone of a shawl in her hair. Kat has always been like this. Charming, sweet beauty, conquering all her appearance at first sight. What was he going to say to her? He did not really know. He only knew that he did not intend to tell the truth. But it was time to get rid of these nowhere leading relationships. In addition, if he’s really intending to compete for Elio, then the presence of the girl is an obvious minus and an obstacle.

"Oliver! So nice that we finally got out! It’s been hundred years since we had a date!” - She exclaimed joyfully coming up close and embracing the man.

"We need to talk," Oliver snapped at once.

"Um ... OK. You're scaring me a little.”

"Do not be afraid, but let's sit down."

“ OK.”

They went to the nearest bench and sat down. Katherine stared at Oliver trying to understand what was in his head. She looked like she was still very excited.

"Katherine, you and I have been together for a long time, and we’ve known each other for ages ..." Oliver began.

Katherine stood erect, smiled slightly and nervously began to touch her own fingers.

"... and for a long time I have been thinking about what can make us both happy, so now, obviously, we are not happy both ..."

On this phrase, Kat appreciably strained realizing that the conversation was not going in the direction she was thinking about.

"... so I think it's time for us to break up."

Kat's face was stretched in amazement and it seemed that she had completely stopped breathing.

"Kat, did you hear me?" Oliver repeated without waiting for any reaction from the girl.

"You… Are you leaving me?" -At last Kat burst into tears.

“I think that this will be better for us. I think that without me you can really find someone who can make you happy. Because you deserve it. Katherine, I'm sorry, I did not mean to confuse you or hurt you. I'm just trying to do better for both of us.”

"O Lord, Oliver! What will I tell my parents? And your parents? What will they say? Our families have already married us for a long time the matter remained for a small one.”

"Kat, tell me honestly, do you really care about what our parents think? Would you really want to spend your whole life being married to me?” - Oliver said.

Katherine was lost in thought, turned away, stupidly looking ahead and slightly sobbing. Oliver was sitting in a stupor not knowing what to do. Katherine looked silently into the distance. He was lousy because of such an act but there was no other way out, so Oliver decided to do something to somehow bring this conversation to an end.

"Kat, are you okay?" - Oliver asked timidly gently touching her shoulder.

“No. No, Oliver – it is the answer for both your questions.”

"Forgive me, Kat. I really think that it will be better. I'll pick up my things when you feel comfortable and I'll explain everything to our parents if you want.”

"No, God, Oliver. I'll deal with my family myself. I think that you will have enough talk with your mother. I'll collect your belongings and say when you can pick them up. The keys to the apartment will be left to my neighbor. And Oliver ... will you do something for me?”

"Anything, Kat.”

"Do not bother seeing me again."

"Kat, God… forgive me. Forgive me.”

“That's enough. I think I will go. I'll phone the department at the expense of things. Is Debbie still working? I'll leave a message to her. Goodbye, Oliver.”

This day officially claimed the title of the worst day in the history of mankind. At first, it's not a very bright meeting with Elio, the realization that he has other relationships, then this eerie conversation with Katherine. Oliver felt more than lousy. And despite the fears in his head that he could become an alcoholic by such a path, he decided to go to the nearest bar since he could not see another way to help himself.

 

Substantially typed in a local bar of strong alcohol the deadly drunk Oliver tumbled into his apartment closer to midnight. Today, it seemed like someone's funny joke, dissolved in alcoholic ecstasy. Pressing the autoresponder button Oliver realized with horror that all the hardest is yet to come.

"Oliver, what the hell? I got a call from Mrs. Fields and she said that you left Katherine! God, she sobbed into the phone, Oliver! What are you doing? Your father and I planned your engagement from your childhood, and you let all our efforts down the drain? I do not know what kind of son you thought up, the notes simply did not have the right to do so. Family Fields are our longtime business partners. I and your father have told you many times about the importance of your marriage with Katherine! And, Oliver, she's a beautiful girl! Young, beautiful, educated, ready to accept your career prospects ... I told you to go to the doctor, Oliver, you had to continue the family tradition. So ... okay ... what am I talking about? Son, I demand an explanations! Call me urgently! We can still fix the mess you created! And where in general are you so late?”

The enraged voice of the mother sobered up a better cold shower and coffee in addition. Hopes to end the relationship with Kat without deafening bad consequences collapsed. Not to say that Oliver did not anticipate this development. But there was still a hope that his parents would accept any of his choices deep inside his soul. He`ll have a long and serious conversation with his mother. And if Kate was more than compliant this will not happen with his mother. Explanations in the style of "it's not you, it`s me" will clearly not be enough, and telling the truth was all about signing a death sentence. Oliver saw the picture in his head as he said at a family dinner in their big estate: "Mom, I'm sorry that I had to break up with Kat, but I'm madly in love with a teenager from Italy, with whom I gloriously fucked last summer at his parents’ villa ".

“Great idea!“ - bursting into laughter, the man told himself, then fell down loud on the couch right on his clothes.

* * *

 

The door behind Elio slammed shut. The room was flooded with sunlight full of people hurrying about their business with glasses of coffee and rolls. Derek already took orders at the bar with might and main and smiled broadly at him. Elio's ears were buzzing, and his heart was beating wildly. He felt something wet fall on his T-shirt. A red drop of blood ran down his chest leaving a bright trace. Elio was in a stupor and could not understand what was going on until the troubled Derek flew over to him through the crowd of coffee shops and handed the napkin to his face.

"Elio, you have blood! Are you okay?”

“What? " -Still not understanding what was happening said Elio barely audible.

"Your blood is pumping from your nose! You are all pale and barely standing on your feet. What happened to you?”

“Blood?” - Finally recovering himself the boy exclaimed with amazement.

“Yes! Damn it, you're scaring me! Let me take you to the staff rest room you can come to your senses.”

They slowly began making their way through the crowd while Elio was still thinking about what had just happened.

"Derek, thank you, I'm fine. This happens to me. True. Do not worry. You must return to work. I'll rest a bit and go out to you, " - Elio said as soon as the door of the small store room of the coffee shop closed behind them.

“Are you sure? This is the second time that you feel bad for no reason. should I call a doctor?”

“No, no, it's nothing. We just did not sleep much, and I did not eat in the morning, that's why it happened.”

"So, from now on I will see to it that you sleep more and no more walks on an empty stomach."

"You're just golden thank you. But I'm really fine. Go quickly, until there is a huge queue.”

"Set yourself up and rest. I'll drop by as soon as I can. OK?”

“Yes of course.”

The door slammed behind Derek and Elio realized the horror of what had happened. He had almost lost consciousness because of Oliver. His own reaction infuriated the boy, his body reacted to Oliver with treacherous weakness. However, he could not help but notice that he had enough strength to stand and show himself worthy. At least he did not screw up, he thought with relief. But such tides of poor health after their meetings just had to be stopped.

Elio took a deep breath straightened his T-shirt and headed for the sink installed by the opposite wall. The mirror hanging above the sink clearly spoke of the extremely lousy form of the boy. His own pale, thin face covered in blood frightened Elio. The reflection was the same as he remembered himself last winter. Just when he firmly decided not to focus on the past and start living a full life throwing Oliver out of his head. It seemed to him that he had succeeded, but this meeting returned the boy from heaven to earth. He did not forget anything, did not forgive and was not ready for this meeting.

Sex with Derek wasn’t a cure, it did not cross out as if by magic the entire past and it did not become easier. In addition to his own shattered heart Elio risked another reward. No, he wasn’t going to do this to Derek. And the devil from two he was going to do this to himself. It was senseless and foolish to deceive oneself. But Elio was not going to give up.

After washing and wiping up his T-shirt Elio, who was slightly more healthy, entered the coffee shop and sat down at a table in the corner. At the same second as if from under the ground took Derek brought him a huge mug of coffee and a whole bun tray.

“You are crazy! I cannot eat so much.”

“Eat it. I will not let you out from here until I make sure that you can go home without falling into a ditch on the road.”

With a smile on his face Elio took up his buns desperately trying to figure out what to do with the realization that he had not forgotten _THEIR_ summer, as he had not forgotten _HIM._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me for any mistakes. You can write me about it.  
> All your thoughts and comments are much appreciated


	6. A broken spell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few delicate moments between our boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE thanks to Bellarosa for the help in the translation

The last days of August flew like a flash for Oliver. Immersed in the huge amount of work that was to be done before the beginning of the school year, he even almost forgot about that ill-fated day when fate again brought him together with Elio. However, the man did not risk and sending Debs for coffee who ran at such a speed that it did not have time to cool down. After discussing what had happened, they decided with her that they should not rush and give the training turmoil a little coolness to Elio's ardor. Debbie's plan was extremely simple: "He will need help and you will come as a knight in shining armor! » Oliver did not protest, especially as he had no idea how to correct the situation. The oil was poured into the fire by almost daily calls from his mother. He decided to leave it until better times, and in fact, just playing time not knowing what to say to an overly persistent woman.

He was rushing to the meeting due to a beginning of the academic year and in addition promised a possible increase, which was very attractive to Oliver. In the conditions of the forthcoming quarrel with the whole family, the extra thousand dollars to the salary would not hurt at all. Therefore, the prospect of nice work and taking the place as the head of the department beckoned not less freshly baked pies of his late grandmother. Deciding completely to follow Debs’ plan and just watch, Oliver waited without fear for the first lecture of Elio's flow, which was already waiting for him behind the big oak door of the campus. Slowly and deeply sighing the young professor entered the students' full study.

He hotly loved instantly faded speech in the office, a bright light and a perfectly clean board - these little attributes of his profession. Silently leaving on the center of the class before the board, he put his briefcase with papers on the table and, finally, turned to the students.

\- Good morning. My name is Professor **** - Oliver turned around and wrote his name on the board. Despite the fact that many teachers of his age preferred that students refer to them by name, Oliver did not consider such forms of informal communication permissible since idiots were lacking in Columbia. Turning back to the class the professor began to look for the one who had been unable to sleep for the last year. Elio was sitting right in the center. Nothing in his glance did not distinguish him from hundreds of other students who passed through the doors of the university. He watched closely at the professor's eyes and caught every word of it.

"I am very glad that I have the honor of being your guide to the world of philosophy. At our meetings with you there will be many disputes, discussions, even battles if you want. To successfully pass the exam you will have to try. For many of you this subject is basic in the program, it is I for you; students of my department, but the rest of you should not be relaxed. Today I want to get to know you a little better, so we will take clean sheets and ... No, no, no, remove this discontented rumble. Now there will be no assignments for evaluation. I just want to understand who I'm dealing with. Naturally, since you entered Columbia, you all at least passed the exam, but it is not very complicated and does not say much about you as individuals, but I want to know you from this side. So we get the leaves, and I'll give everyone a small questionnaire. Head of the group, please help me. "

When the students obediently began to follow the instructor's instructions Oliver finally got the long-awaited opportunity to sit down and enjoy the sight of the object of his passion. Elio barely had time to get a sheet with the task as he began to write the answers quickly on the sheet. His curls fell on his forehead; he slowly and gracefully tucked them by his fingers of his left hand. Oliver found himself literally staring at the boy openly who began to gnaw the cap from the handle. The man was sitting as if mesmerized by Elio's movements. His brisk tongue clasped the cap and his lips stretched from the touch of plastic. Elio's hand rose somewhere to his hair and froze. Oliver caught his eye. Without batting an eyelid, Elio slowly put his hand to his neck and gently wrapped it around lightly pressing his fingers on the thin skin. Oliver again forgot what body it was usual to breathe, whether from the excitement that gripped him or from the awareness of the arrogance of a boy who obviously mocked, he is perfectly aware that with a man what are his movements doing. They sat so in complete silence broken only by the creak of pens on paper and the rustle of sheets. Looking into each other's eyes. Oliver, speechless, with a clear hard erection (thank God, far away from the eyes of students) and Elio, licking the cap of his pen while the fingers of his hand gently stroked his own throat.

A loud ringing of the alarm clock set by Oliver for 30 minutes interrupted a ringing silence.

"I ask you to postpone the handles and hand over the work to the front"- Oliver said praying to himself that no one would think of asking him to stand up and take the papers himself.

While the students obediently rustled the papers, Oliver did not think to stop looking away from Elio. The one caught off guard by the sound of the alarm clock was trying to write something on the sheet in a hurry.

"Thank you. You can sit back. And now I will ask you to break up into pairs. Your task will be to discuss with your colleague the question of the primacy of spirit or matter. In addition, by the end to present the general conclusion of your reflections. Remember that in this task there is no right and wrong answer. It is important for me to see your reasoning. Hurry up! "

Students began to divide into pairs being very busy with the task. Oliver also celebrated a small victory over the impudent boy, watching as everyone around him quickly sat down in pairs while he glared at the student. Realizing that he was the only one without his neighbor, Elio looked with hope through the audience, until his gaze caught on a tall, handsome blond in a sports sweatshirt with the logo of some unfamiliar football team. Confidently rising from his seat Elio in two jumps overcame several rows of students already discussing the main issue of the philosophy and sat down near to the previously found lone person.

Oliver could not hear their conversation but saw Elio cordially extend his hand and, obviously, introduced himself. Seated on the last row is a typical sword-athlete, who was in the audience only to go to the training camp for the football team after school beamed in response with a radiant smile and shook Elio's hand in response. The guys quickly moved on to the task, when Oliver realized that the game was not over yet and the worst was yet to come. The professor saw Elio lean toward the athlete and whispered something for a long time in his ear. After that, both students burst into laughter at the whole audience. Oliver had not seen such a blatantly candid flirtation for a long time. Elio kept pressing his shoulder to his neighbor, whispering and winking for the rest of the time. To the professor's great surprise, the athlete's sword was more than pleased with the attention paid to him and willingly responded to his neighbor's actions with his uncomplicated gestures and looks.

Everything in Oliver's body desperately wanted to pounce on the grinning blond and smash his face with his hands. Devoured by terrible jealousy he desperately tried to breathe deeply and not give out his state to the whole audience.

Fortunately for Oliver, soon the second alarm clock rang, which means that the students were left with 5 minutes to complete the assignment. The man already dreamed of leaving the classroom as quickly as possible and killing someone. Most likely, it will be Debs, who gave such useless advice. "Watch and wait."

At the same time, he had no idea that Elio could just twist the ropes from him without doing anything for it. As soon as Oliver's last paper was in his hands, he announced the completion of work for today and the bullet flew out of the class.

Caught in his office a few minutes later Oliver first knocked down a glass of whiskey lying on his desk in case of emergency help while checking the work of first-year students. The sizzling beverage helped to come to life slightly cooling the fire of rage in Oliver's chest. "This damn boy wants my death!" - Oliver could explain to himself his behavior today.

After several hours of uninteresting introductory classes with two more streams Oliver decided to drop into the library to recruit books to work on planning the next lessons so that at least somehow distract from the constant thoughts about Elio.

There was not a single chance that on the first day there would be at least one student in the university library. However, they appeared as if by magic here closer to the beginning of the exams in huge crowds. Quickly finding the books he needed, Oliver was already on his way to the exit as he noticed the favorite shock of dark curls moving between the shelves in the history department. Elio was obviously looking for something and could not find it. The boy swore loudly and chaotic ran from the rack to the rack.

It was that damn chance that Debs was talking about. "Knight, armor, trouble" - all as ordered, and the first day. Such a moment could not be missed, so Oliver took a deep breath, counted to himself about four and went out to meet Elio flashing his most charming smile.

"Are you looking for something?"

The boy lost in thoughts did not notice Oliver to the last so when he appeared he cried out in fright.

"Hell! Why so sneak up? I can so earn a punch! "

"Yes, yes, familiar sensations. It is as if someone frankly mocks you right in front of your eyes, right? " - Oliver said a little jokingly.

"I do not know what you're talking about." Elio replied with an absolutely unruffled air.

"I saw how you are suffering here and ... decided to help. So, are you looking for something? "

"Yes, our history professor, Mr. Hall is really crazy! I set off to the next lesson simply a huge amount of work. In addition, it seems that all the books have been sorted out. "

"Oh, Vincent ... He'll be your pain in the ass until the end of your training. You are on a historical, Elio, be ready to communicate with him very much and often. I can help you a little, if you want. "

"Oliver, do not ... we seem to have decided that we are only friends, and nothing more."

"So I want to help you as a friend. In the first year, I thought that I would give my soul to God, and, frankly, I would be happy with any help. "

"No ... I ... must myself ..." Elio purred uncertainly to himself.

" Look, I'm not suggesting writing your work for you. Let's start with finding a book, since we are friends? What exactly are you looking for? "

\- "Fundamentals of Archeology" by Stevens and "History of Ancient Times" by Adams.

"Give me a minute." Oliver began to study the shelves having the opportunity to see the top racks thanks to the growth. Quickly noticing Eliot's titles Oliver slowly withdrew both from the farthest and highest shelf and silently stretched Elio.

"You did not have a chance to see them yourself."

"God, Oliver, thank you!" Elio said shyly.

"Well ... can you take them?" Mm? - sounded the man extending his hand even slightly closer to the boy who had lowered his face.

Elio slowly took a couple of steps forward approached Oliver almost right raised his face and slowly reached for the book. For the first time Oliver looked into his eyes so closely after their parting on the platform in Italy. The green eyes of the boy, who looked at the man from under thick black eyelashes, sparkled with something new for him. Deaf silence broken only by their breath reigned in the lobby of the library. Someone pumped all the air out of the building because it was impossible to breathe heavily and the approaching heat spread over the body with waves. A moment when Elio's fingers touched his hand ripped into a million electrified fragments. Without realizing anything, Oliver reached forward to the lips of the boy looking at him pointedly. He could already feel his hot, impatient breath next to his, when from the other end of the hall the clerk loudly announced the closing of the library. The spell was destroyed, and Elio startled snatched the book from his assistant's hand turned and ran to the library's closing doors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All your thoughts and comments are much appreciated


	7. Home Alone: Lost in New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio`s doubts and worries   
> Oliver`s thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for Bellarosa for her help

Run. Run as far as possible and as fast as you can as long as there are forces, as there is still a will not to return. Elio raced along the streets of the city without looking back plainly and without understanding where he was running. His forces were at the end and the desire to turn around and rush back to him, to rush into _HIS_ arms and stay in them forever – that could have happened. How could he allow this? What is it? All the long and hard work with himself at home, a lot of read books, moving to another city, a new boyfriend ... and it all went to waste! Because of _his_ closeness. Oliver's scent of smell, his stupid blue eyes, his charming voice ... his presence and Elio froze. Frozen - unable to do anything. He stood there motionless, desperately wanting this failed kiss. His whole body tore apart from the desire to cuddle as close as possible to Oliver, touch his skin wherever possible, feel the warmth of his breath, the warmth of his lips. The thought of what could have happened literally burned painful scars somewhere in the chest area.

Turning to the next corner Elio finally stopped. The lungs betrayed treacherously, all muscles ached, and his heart thundered. The boy had no idea how much he ran and where he ended up in the end. Fortunately, there were many people on the street and Elio quickly found himself at home. Aunt May was about to serve supper as her disheveled nephew burst into the apartment.

"Elio, is everything all right? This is the first day at college and you are so influenced by it that you look like you just returned from the war? "

"Uh ... yeah, it`s just too much information for one day. I did not expect this turn of events. Can I skip dinner? I have absolutely no appetite. I want to start my home tasks immediately.

"Sure, sweetheart. But I'll leave a serving in the fridge for you if you suddenly get hungry. "

"Thank you, Aunt May."

"Elio, I need to leave for a couple of weeks from the city to Chicago. My friend is unwell and I want to be with her. Can you do without me? I called your parents; they are more than sure that you will manage but if you need help I will cancel everything and stay. "

"No, no, it's you. You must go. Most likely, I will spend the days in the library. I can do it alone, do not worry. "

"Excellent! Thank you. I’ll leave the day after tomorrow and leave you all contacts in case of emergency. Promise me to be clever, do not party, and manage not to burn the apartment down. "

"Aunt May, what kind of parties? I do not have time for this, to be honest. Ok, I have to go. I have a huge work on history. "

"Can I bring some tea for you? "

" Yes, thanks. "

With these words, Elio slammed the door behind him and fell exhausted face on bed. He simply lay with his eyes closed exhausted from the unplanned run. His own weakness again made itself felt and this terribly infuriated the young man. The sensation of Oliver's physical presence was nearby and he turned into a melted jelly ready for anything to touch his beloved one. Elio could not believe that his own fury and anger sat hidden somewhere inside and refused to appear when they were so needed. He felt only how much he missed him, how much he wanted to be with him, under him, around him.

Elio decided to slightly restrict the relationship with Derek after that meeting in the coffee house. He was so ashamed of how he acted with him. This was not cruel and unfair so first Elio briefly disappeared referring to bad health (which the bartender was willing to believe because of his constant nosebleeds), then the preparation for the semester took over all his thoughts and there was simply no time for dating... Feeling of his own vile act was tormented by Elio so much that he literally could not endure it any longer. Especially now when he realized clearly that Oliver is not in the past. "I'm a terrible person. I force people around me to suffer "- the thought swept like a freight train car through the mind of Elio. In an attempt to somehow correct the situation, the young man grabbed a nearby telephone receiver and hastily dialed Derek's number.

"Hello. "

"Derek, hello, this is Elio!"

"Oh, Elio, I'm glad to hear from you. How is your health? I hope that you are feeling better. "

"Yes thank you. Today was the first day at the university. I am a little discouraged by the amount of information that has fallen on me but the blood does not seem to yet appear. "

"I'm very glad to hear from you Elio, I already thought that you were avoiding me ... There was so much time has passed since that night, and you didn`t call..."

"Yes, Derek, forgive me. I was a little discouraged by the new city. So many things happen that I was beaten a bit by this all out of rut probably. I can hope that you will forgive me? "

"Elio, of course. I'm just glad that you called. I understand that there are terribly many interesting events now in your life. I hope that our "adventure" with you has left a pleasant trail and you do not regret what happened. "

"God, no! This was spectacular. Too soon perhaps but perfect. "

"Maybe we'll slow down the events a bit and just have a date, for example? "

"Yes! Thank you for everything…"

"Stop it. I was once new in the city too. And I know what it’s like. Well, when do you have a break from your studies? "

"The days off are completely empty. I planned to go through music stores and choose my new instrument. My aunt does not have a piano, but I really want to practice music. Do you want to walk with me? If this does not seem to you a terribly dull activity of course. "

"I'll be happy to walk with you, Elio. Is it convenient on Saturday after my morning shift? "

"Yes Yes! More than convenient! I'll go to the coffee shop for you, okay? "

"Ok, you must be terribly tired. And you probably already had something to do. Therefore, let us say goodbye. I look forward to meeting you! "

"Thank you again for your understanding. See you! "

Hanging up, Elio took a deep breath. One of the stones that weighed on his soul, at least a little, but let him go.

* * *

 

 

"I told you! Ha! I told you! "- Debs cried with a loud clap on the table after she heard the story of Oliver about the previous day.

"What did you say?"

"He's still not indifferent to you, Oliver! He loves you, I'm sure! "

"Did you listen to my story badly, Debs? He ran away! Only his heels sparkled! "

"Is that all in your head? God, Oliver ... And a "game of glances" at the lecture? Public flirting with a classmate in front of your eyes to make you jealous? And, in fact, you two would definitely have a kiss if there was no librarian? "

"Elio, whom I knew, would not stop such a trifle."

"Well, obviously he's not the Elio you knew. As for me, he is a very clever boy. He knows how to hurt you. I like him already, although we have not met yet. "

"He has changed so much... No, I mean not his appearance though ... but it too. There are so many new things in his eyes. I saw him through in Italy, I read him like an open book. And now ... as if in a charming look ... and I do not see anything except my own desire to drown in his soul. "

"Oh, that`s so romantic, Ollie! I did not know that you were so sensitive. "

"Apparently we switched places, Debs. Now I'm a seventeen-year-old boy eager for intimacy like a maniac. And there is not a single second in which I don`t think about him. He's right here a few blocks away from my house and I'm not with him. This is killing me. "

"Patience, my friend, everything has its time. Believe me. I can sense that this is not the end. "

"Thank you for your support, Debbie. I do not know how to behave with him further. "

"Yes, in any way. You are charming. You are adored by all your students for a reason. Be yourself. Lead the lectures as you used to. "

"Did I say how much I love you, Debs?"

"Yes, many times this year, but now I'm particularly pleased. After all, it's not about work. Oh, and yes ... I understand everything, but ... your mother fucked me with the calls. And your ex called, said that you can pick up things on Friday. So you have at least two interesting meetings. Uh, I do not envy. Your mother, by the way, has a terribly terrible voice. At least call her to stop torturing me with her everyday calls. "

"Ohhh, God ... "

* * *

 

 

"God, Elio, you drive me crazy!" - Derek almost shouted into his mouth tearing himself away from the kiss near the door of Aunt May's apartment.

The planned date was the best. Three stores with tools and two hours of walking around the park did their job and led the guys to the stairwell of the multi-apartment apartment building.

"Come on in!" - Elio invited the barman to move in a gesture.

As soon as the door slammed behind them Derek returned to his original position - close to Elio. They kissed eagerly, licking each other's mouths. Hands intertwined randomly shuffling around their bodies, clothes flew at the speed of light. In less than five minutes lovers were already completely naked in Elio’s bedroom.

Derek covered the lover's torso with kisses caressing his thighs with his hands. He slowly sank lower lightly biting the right nipple and leaving a path of wet marks on Elio's stomach. Elio was breathing heavily and already pushed his hips into the body of his partner. Barman`s lips had touched the head of Elio`s cock, it stretched more and more taking inside the hot mouth all the boy`s size. The smooth rhythmic movements of Derek's head made Elio's back curl from the wave of pleasure. The orgasm was approaching with each and every movement, it was just about ready to hit the boy, when suddenly, Elio felt a moist finger slightly pressed on the area of his hole. His whole body shuddered, his breath lost, and his heart seemed to miss the blow after the blow. "It's not _HIM_ , not _his_ hands, it's not _HIM_!" - something was shouting in Elio's head.

"No! No! No!" - Elio shouted to his lover.

There was a noise in his ears, his head was buzzing, and blood gushed from his nose. Everything inside Elio cringed with pain; the crying subconscious did not want to calm down and screamed louder. The boy's eyes clouded, he began to hysterically swallow air in an attempt to sigh but nothing worked.

"Elio, Elio! Breathe, Elio, breathe! Listen to me, breathe with me, Elio! One, two, three, four ... well done. Once again, one, two, three, four - Elio desperately clung to Derek's voice and followed his prompts gradually recovering.

"God, Elio! What happened to you? Do you want some water? "

Elio nodded slightly still breathing unevenly and shaking his whole body.

Soon, Derek came running from the kitchen with a glass of water and a wet towel.

"Have a drink, and let me wipe your face. You're covered in blood. Lord, Elio, you scared me to death. What happened? Is it my fault? Did I hurt you? Did something go wrong? "

"No, Derek, no. God, you are not to blame. I do not know what is happening with me. I don’t know…"

"Elio, I'm not a fool, I can see that something is wrong with you. It all happened as soon as I ... uh ... wanted to have sex with you or rather prepare you for it. If you dislike the idea of being the bottom with me then you could just say it. I absolutely do not mind being with you just in the ...um ... bottom position. But something tells me that this is not the case at all. What's the matter? "

"Derek, I ... I can not. I just can not. You're wonderful and ... "

"But not the one you want to be with, Elio."

"I ... I, Derek, forgive me, forgive me!"

"Calm down, calm down. It's all right. As I said, I originally counted only on friendship. Do not worry I did not have time to fall in love with you without a memory and I will completely survive if we end this relationship. But I would like to remain as your friend, if that's what you want, of course. "

"God, of course I want to! I'm such an idiot, Derek, I'm a real asshole. I'm so ashamed, so lousy; I did not mean to hurt you. Forgive me! "

"Hey, stop you apologizing! I'm glad that you're alive at all. Panic attacks and their elimination is not my specialty, you know. And if I were you nevertheless get to the doctor with these constant bleedings. And now I’ll go and dress up because we are sitting on the bed drenched in blood completely naked."

Derek got up, dressed quickly and helped Elio, who was still trembling, to pull on his pajama pants, and even changed the linens.

"Look, I'm not putting pressure on you but if you decide to tell me what's the matter with you, you know, I'm here for you. And you can always turn on me" - Derek said while standing in the doorway.

"Thank you. I do not know what I would do without you. "

"And you should go to the doctor! OK, rest now. Call me, if you need me."

"Of course!"

"Sleep well"

Elio closed the door turned his back on it and slowly slid down to the floor. The retreating panic left no strength for anything except for the stream of tears falling on him.

All last week and the enchanting ending in the form of a panic attack right during sex - talk about a complete failure of his plan more eloquently than any words. Elio did not just forget Oliver, but he also clearly understood that he could no longer be with someone other than him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All your thoughts, comments and kudos are much appreciated ^___^


	8. Skipping lectures is good for your health

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We survived this awesome weekend! So let`s celebrate!

Elio spent the rest of the weekend trying to recover. He did not disturb Aunt May and assured her on the phone that everything was fine and he was busy with studying. Bleeding from the nose was repeated only twice and thoughts about Oliver were not going to disappear that easily. Massive homework did not really help him as a distraction, especially since the boy coped with it literally within couple of hours. It was not as scary as he thought and soon Elio found himself in his bed lying and looking at one point at the ceiling. He had no powers left and he did not feel like he could get up. He could not read and even music was not helping him at all. In addition, he thought about Monday and hence Oliver’s lecture – all this slowly but surely added anxiety.

On Monday morning Elio woke up already exhausted. He hardly forced himself to get out of bed. He had no force to have breakfast so he gathered somehow and went to the University. Hardly having reached the audience Elio realized with horror that he was already late for almost 10 minutes, which promised inevitable contact with Oliver. The boy was sick from one thought that he would have to look into his eyes. Making an effort, Elio knocked on the audience door and timidly entered when he hear "Enter!" The audience was full of friends already familiar to him, who looked at their teacher with all eyes. Oliver also looked like a real “movie star” as Elio's mom called him. It was obvious that the boy entered in the very heat of the story, as the dissatisfied faces of his fellow students drilled him by their gaze.

“Excuse me, may I come in?” - Elio asked barely audible.

"Come in and join the work," - Oliver replied with a worried expression on his face.

Elio went to his place right in the middle of the audience slowly and barely dragging his feet and with a loud clang almost fell into his chair.

"Excuse me".

"Mr. Perlman, are you all right?"

"Yes, I apologize for interrupting."

Oliver returned to the lecture, but continued to keep his eyes on the boy. Nausea still did not pass, his head was still spinning and it became cloudy in his eyes. Elio could hardly grasp the essence of the lecture; he practically did not hear Oliver behind the noise in his own ears. He just could not stand the second pair of philosophy and Oliver`s presence. Therefore, Elio firmly decided to go home at the end of the lecture and skip the remaining pairs. His own lousy state did not bother him at all because last autumn he felt himself exactly the same. Parting with Oliver at the station almost killed the boy, and Elio was barely getting out of bed for more than a few weeks. The second time was beyond his strength. For the first time since the move, he seriously thought about the correctness of his decision. To fight with himself like this every day throughout the school year was an impossible test. Realization of this thought almost made Elio run out of the audience during the lecture, but to do is - so meant to surrender unconditionally and he was not ready for this. As soon as Oliver announced the completion of the first lecture and the beginning of the break, Elio silently rose from his seat, packed up his things and left the room along with the rest of the students' stream. On the next pair he did not show up.

 

* * *

 

Oliver was waiting the Monday's lecture for the whole weekend. The man perfectly understood what almost happened in the library and was ready to move on in an attempt to draw Eliot's attention, but it seems that the fate had other plans. The object of his passion seemed not to appear on the lecture, there was no choice so he had to start without him. Ten minutes later there was a barely audible knock at the door, he finally appeared. "He's not healthy" - everything that swept through Oliver's head. Elio looked as if he had not slept for ages while unloading wagons with coal. He hardly dragged his feet as he walked to his place. Fortunately, there was more than decent to ask whether everything was fine, but the answer did not satisfy the teacher. Oliver saw perfectly that Elio was barely listening and practically run out of the audience after the lecture. At the next lecture he did not appear.

Oliver ran into his office at the speed of light when the lesson was over, he had not remember himself from worry. There were still the personal files of the students of the historical somewhere in the bowels of his table, among which was Elio`s file. Oliver hastened to quickly rewrite the boy's aunt's address when he found the necessary folder in his mess so that he could immediately go to his house. He did not care what the poor woman might think when Oliver bursts into her apartment. He was so worried about Elio that the only thing he could think of was seeing him as soon as possible and make sure that he was okay.

Oliver quickly found Debbie, explained the situation to her and also enlisted her support, then he ran out of the university. The distance to the apartment could have been overcome on foot, but Oliver preferred to take a taxi to get there as soon as possible. Oliver found himself on the threshold of an ordinary apartment building which in New York millions while he paying the taxi driver. He checked the address once again, then he ran up the stairs to the right floor and stopped at the apartment with the coveted number.

Oliver knocked on the door and sighed deeply. It seemed that there was no one at home. There was no sound behind the door. Maybe Elio was taken to the hospital or worse he was hit by a car on the way home or he fell down unable to walk..? Someone who seemed to be completely weightless and noiseless was already turning the door lock while terrible pictures of the possible death of Elio flew by in the men's head. The doors slowly opened and then there was Elio behind it in utter amazement. He still looked tired, he was wrapped in a blanket and only his ankles and head stuck out from it.

"Oliver? How..? What..? How did you know where I live? What are you doing here? "

"You did not come to the second lecture".

"Hm ... and now all the professors are obliged to come to the student`s home and find out the reasons for their absence at the lectures?"

"No, Elio ... What the hell, can I come in?"

"Come in. I do not have the strength to argue with you and try not to let you go in my home. Sorry, I did not come to the second lecture and was late for the first one. I seem to be a little sick. If it calms you, I did not attend any other lectures today ".

"That will not calm me, Elio. If you feel bad, why are you not in the hospital? Where is your aunt?"

"How did you know that I live with her? And, I repeat the question, how did you know where I live? "

"Have you forgotten where I work, Elio? Why are you alone? "

"Auntie May is not here. She left for a few days to go and visit a friend. I do not want to disturb her. I can cope well all by myself, no one should sit and mess around with me".

"I'm sorry, Elio, but you looked so bad, I think that someone should look after you ..."

"And you think it will be you? Hell, Oliver, I'm just a little sick, do not make this a tragedy. And anyway, you're the last one I want to see right now, so ... um ... you can go".

"I will not go anywhere until I make sure that you are all right. You say that you're okay, but I'm looking around, and I do not think so". There were a lot of clothes, crumpled paper kerchiefs and pillows everywhere in the living room.

"Well, I wouldn’t bother myself with some cleaning. This is no reason to think that I am mortally sick".

"Did you eat today?"

"What?"

"DID YOU EAT TODAY?" - Oliver literally screamed no longer withstanding the negations of the boy.

"I can’t. I'm sick".

"When did you eat the last time?"

"Hmm ... it seems that it was on Saturday. I do not know exactly".

"Jesus, Elio, are you crazy? Decided to kill yourself? "

"May be…"

"What?"

"Listen, why all this talk? I'm terribly tired and just want to fall face to pillow and sleep. Your professional soul can be calm. I will surely come to life very soon and will not miss your next lecture".

Fury and resentment struck Oliver with all his strength. He was torn between desires to embrace the boy and give him a nice kick as much as possible.

Oliver practically shouted to the boy when he clutched him with his hands:  "Elio, for God's sake, I'm here not as your teacher. I'm here as a person who cares about you. Like the one who ... - the words got a lump in the throat. The man froze unable to say a word anymore.

"Like who? Oliver, like who are you here"? - Elio whispered softly while looked at the man with all eyes.

_"Like the one who loves you"_

The deathly silence reigned in the room the tension in which could be cut with a knife.

Elio blinked slowly, obviously trying to figure out if he heard him right and stepped back, releasing himself from Oliver's hands, until he bumped his back into the wall of the room.

"Why are you saying this? To make me feel better? Or to torment me more? You hurt me enough, Oliver. Why do you want to hurt me even more?"

Tears streamed down Elio's cheeks, he was shaking quietly. The words of the boy beat stronger than the opponent in boxing sparring. Oliver was not going to leave even after such words, which confirmed all his conjectures about the reason for such a cold meeting between them. After Oliver overcome the distance between him and the already sobbing boy, he slowly lifted Elio`s face, grasping his chin, leaned lower so that only a couple of centimeters remained between them and just stared into Elio's eyes. It seemed that it past an eternity as they stood there silently, looking at each other in complete silence.

Oliver could hardly control himself, he wanted to pounce on the boy. He was so stubborn, so bold with him that it terribly infuriated a man. But these green eyes spoke better than their master, now they told only one thing: "Stay." Oliver broke the dead silence in the room obeying his own desire:

“To hell with all of it!”

And he literally crashed himself on the boy's lips with a kiss. His lips were all the same: soft, hot, tender, and sweet. Elio did not resist, he rather submissively leaned forward opening his mouth wider.  Oliver grabbed him by the back of his head pressing him closer finally dissolving into a kiss. The blanket, in which Elio was wrapped, collapsed to the floor, leaving the master in only underwear. The boy timidly pressed himself against the body of the man with his whole torso, randomly moving along Oliver's back with his hands in an attempt to embrace everything and immediately, touching every cell of his lover`s skin. Oliver groped for the sofa on the back of his feet unable to tear himself away from the lips of Elio, who was groaning through the kiss, and from the height of his height collapsed on it with Elio pressed to his chest.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE thanks to Bellarosa for the help in the translation.  
> All your thoughts and comments are much appreciated!


	9. Spaghetti with vegetables

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The past week was terrible. Life once again reminded me that people are pieces of shit smeared with shit. Unfortunately, this was evident in this beautiful fandom. BUT ... I'm sure that all those wonderful, talented authors that we read will cope with hatred in their address and will continue to please us with their works. 
> 
> Love, peace and understanding!

Elio's tongue fumbled erratically in Oliver's mouth as his hands grasped the muscles of the man under him. The boy felt his hands on him caressing his neck then the waist, after descending lower until they reached his buttocks. Oliver's huge hands, compared to Elio's hands quickly and furiously climbed under the boy`s underwear, forcing his heart to beat faster and faster. Oliver finally broke away from the lover's lips while he squeezed Elio's buttocks tightly pulling out a loud, groaning groan from boy`s lips, gasping for air and already moving the kiss to the lobe of his ear. Lovers were desperately rubbing each other with their erections, trying to ease the tension between the legs.

Elio's skin burned from every touch of his man, every minor muscle in his body was tensed and the lungs processed a crazy amount of oxygen, while the brain was completely cut off. There was not a single thought, not a single doubt, not a drop of regret. As soon as Oliver's lips touched his lips, everything disappeared, except the overwhelming desire to be with _Him._ "These are _his_ hands. This is _HIM_ "- this time the crying subconscious rejoiced. Elio did not even think to try to make noise, he moaned loudly and almost animalistic, while his lover caressed his neck with his lips and tongue. The boy quickly blindly found a pulsating point on Oliver's neck and began to kiss it eagerly in response. He was so wound up that he completely ceased to be aware of his actions, blindly obeying his instinct. Elio slightly bit the lobe of the man's ear, causing a quiet moan from Oliver`s mouth, when he realized that he felt the taste of blood in his mouth.

This led the boy to feelings, he panicked that he bit Oliver to the blood, recoiled, and did not see the marks of torn skin, but seeing a lot of blood around, immediately guessed what was wrong. He rose abruptly on his hands, resting on the lover's chest, on whose face the dumb terror immediately froze, as someone immediately turned off the light and the picture suddenly changed to darkness.

 

* * *

 

 

Elio slowly opened his eyes feeling a terrible headache. Everything around him was flooded with bright light from far away there were multiple voices and a smell of meds. Elio saw the picture a little more distinctly after he blinked a few times. He was obviously in the hospital ward; Oliver was drowsing quietly in front of his bunk on the chair.

"Oliver!" - Elio called as loudly as he could, but realized that he had hardly whispered this.

Elio repeated the attempt with great effort with a heavy and deep sigh, swallowing bitter saliva.

"Oliver!" - the man in the armchair sharply opened his eyes and literally jumped from the chair.

"Elio, my goodness! You're awake!" - The man looked fatally tired: big and deep bruises under his eyes, tousled hair and wrinkled clothes.

"What happened?"

"You ... You were unconscious. I could not bring you to life and called an ambulance. We're in the hospital at the intersection of 5th and Madison. I called your parents. They know about you but they have decided not to bother your aunt, because I promised to keep them in touch and watch over you. You scared me to death"

"What happened to me?"

"I do not know. This damn doctor left more than an hour ago with a huge bunch of tests. You have been examined for a long time. But I have not been told yet. I'm already starting to go crazy"

"Damn, Oliver, I'm sorry, I did not mean to disengage myself during the prelude" -  Elio said, smiling slightly, mentally insanely happy that Oliver was right next to him.

"Are you crazy for apologizing? I was frightened, of course, especially when I saw your face, covered in blood ... but ..."

"Yes, this has been happening to me quite often lately."

"And you did not do anything about it? Did not go to the doctor?"

“Well, this always was like that. It is periodically blood from my nose since I was 14 years old. Now a little more often, but I never thought it's worth worrying".

"God, Elio ..." - Oliver began to chastise him, as the door of the room opened and a man in a white robe entered.

"Oh, you come to your senses, Mr. Perlman? How are you feeling? "

"My head aches and it's a little difficult to talk but I'm conscious." - Elio desperately wanted to appear stronger than he felt.

"These are quite typical symptoms and soon everything will pass, so do not worry".

"Doctor, will you tell us what's wrong with him? An hour ago you left somewhere without saying a word, and now it's just "everything will pass" and that's all". - Oliver looked so angry that he seemed ready to pounce on the doctor with his fists.

"Do not attack me with accusations, Mr. ****." I’m just doing my job. Mr. Perlman was unconscious for more than a few hours and did not react, we had to find out what happened to him, and it took time, excuse me" - the doctor was clearly unhappy with Oliver's behavior and presence. Elio immediately became terribly curious to know what his lover had caused such an attitude to him, because usually Oliver was more than friendly with everyone, and everyone just adored him.

"So, Mr. Perlman, I'm glad to inform you that we conducted a lot of tests, and they showed nothing but dehydration, overwork, and exhaustion and, in my opinion, neurosis. Your treatment is a sound sleep, good food and rest. We will prepare all the papers for discharge. Do you have someone to take care of you at home?"

"Yes!" - Elio and Oliver shouted in a chorus.

"Well, great. I’ll go get the documents. We will be glad not to see you inside our walls again" - with a sweet smile the doctor said. - "And you, by the way, too, Mr. ****!" - He added, turning to Oliver.

 

* * *

 

 

"You should go to the bed; I'll cook dinner for now. Your task is to lie down and rest. I'll bring you food to bed" - Oliver said in a powerful voice as they entered Aunt May's apartment.

"You must not cook anything, you've been with me all day, and you`re probably terribly tired. You can go home safely; I can manage everything by myself. Have you heard the doctor? I'm fine. A little sleep and that's all".

"I've just heard the doctor, and I'm not sure you heard him either. Dehydration, exhaustion, overwork and neurosis - sounds like a cry for help in my opinion, Elio. Do not even ask me to leave, it will not work. I’ll stay here today and look after you. I have only two lectures tomorrow, so I'll have time to make you breakfast and go back until dinner".

"Oliver, you do not owe me anything. And, I think, I need to be alone".

"And you'll stay. Go to the room and lie down. Dinner is in an hour" - Oliver cut off with such a look on his face that Elio did not dare to argue with him further.

Caught in his room Elio quickly changed into pajamas and climbed under the blanket. The events of the past day did not want to fit in his head. First a very lousy state, then Oliver's visit, a kiss ... his touch, his lips, his breath, his hard cock poking Elio in the thigh through his jeans ... Damn, even with such a lousy diagnosis, Elio was amazed with his ability to want sex with Oliver.

Elio involuntarily thought about the cherished _"I love you"_ from Oliver trying to drive away the thoughts of an extremely pornographic character from his head. While they spent their summer, he did not hear these words from the man and he himself did not tell them. It seemed obvious to him that what was between them was love, and there was no need to declare it. But really to hear these words from the lips of Oliver - it turned out to be a real shock for him. Elio plunged into thinking about the nature of their relationship now, a year later and parting. And he could not find anything in his soul except pain and endless resentment towards him for not returning to him. If Oliver really loved him, then why did he not return, why did he leave to the other side of the world and not try to contact him all the time, and now, when Elio is so close, he suddenly decided to talk about his feelings. Elio began to feel awaken anger inside. The fury and anger at Oliver that he decided to use him so brazenly, decided to use him as a sex toy once he was at his fingertips. The boy's head started to hum, and his hands shook. Elio lay in bed and silently sobbed with anger. How could he allow himself to be so easily used? How did he allow this man to enter his life again after all the suffering he had endured? _"You're a fucking fool, Elio Perlman. You're a fucking fool."_

 

* * *

 

 

Oliver had never felt so helpless. When Elio disconnected and did not come to himself, the man had almost lost his mind. All this mess with the hospital and this lousy doctor, who was examining Elio somehow too gently, finally finished him off. There was no force on the wrangling with the boy and he literally yelled at him, and now he felt terribly guilty. The guy was already suffering. It is unclear how Elio earned himself fatigue and neurosis, moreover and he also shouted at a poor boy. All this was after they practically engaged in the desired sex right on the couch coquettishly standing in the living room and as if winking to Oliver. The devil sofa knew everything. If Elio did not shut down, everything would definitely go further. But now it bothered the man a little. The state of Elio was everything that disturbed him at the moment. The boy practically did not eat or sleep, since he managed to put his health in such a way and this clearly was Oliver`s fault.

Oliver covered the table and went to call Elio after he quickly cooked spaghetti and made a sauce from the remains of vegetables found in the refrigerator. He heard sobs and incomprehensible curses inside when he approached the bedroom door. Oliver slowly entered the room quietly opening the door. Elio laid on the bed entirely wrapped in a blanket and talked with someone through tears.

"Elio ... "

The boy rose abruptly off the bed, threw off the blanket and stared at Oliver with red eyes.

"Why are you here, Oliver? You did not answer".

"Elio, let's talk later, you need to eat and obviously calm down."

"Do not even try to change the subject!" - shouted Elio.

"I'm not trying to change anything, I want you to get better, but you need to eat for this."

"So you can fuck me?" - Elio hissed through his teeth.

"Elio ..."

"Do you want me to feel better that you can fuck me in your free time or when you're bored?"

"God, Elio, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Why do you need this? You did not really care about my condition when you left. I was much worse, Oliver. Now, when I came to New York, closer to you, how did you decide that I would throw myself into your arms and you would calmly sleep with me?"- Elio slowly, as if opening his veins, uttered words that survived terrible wounds in his chest.

Oliver leaned forward sat down on the edge of the bed and reached for the boy.

"Do not even touch me! Or I'll scream".

"Elio, forgive me ..." - Oliver whispered not knowing what else to say. He was ready to sink through the ground.

"Sorry? And do you think this will be enough?"-  Elio was a big shiver.

"My apology will never be enough, I understand that. And I'm ready to apologize for the rest of my life. I'm ready to spend all of myself trying to prove to you that I really meant what I said today. I love you, Elio. I love. I love. I love ... " - Oliver did not know how or what to say to Elio, except the truth. The anger that he felt in the words of his beloved one hurt him so much. The sense of guilt that drilled him all this year reached its climax and burst out with hysterical confessions.

"If you love me, how could you leave? Why did you leave me, Oliver? "

"Because I was afraid. I was afraid of what I could do with your life. You are so young, so talented and smart; you have a wonderful life ahead of you. Could there be a place in it for me? Can I condemn you to the eternal game of hide and seek with society? Do you deserve laughter in the back and humiliation? I was so afraid of hurting you so I caused even more ... In parallel, destroying life and myself".

"And now?"  - The dumb question hung in Oliver's eyes.

"Are not you afraid now?"

"I'm terrified, Elio. I`m in horror. But one good friend told me that I deserved happiness and we deserved the chance to be happy no matter what. Maybe it's stupid of me, but I decided to try it. And I understand if you do not want to see me again. I'm ready to leave if you want it" - Oliver looked at Elio, who continued to shake like an aspen leaf in the wind.

_"I do not want you to go"_ \- Elio said quietly, as he did in the attic of his house.

"Then I'm not leaving. Never" - Oliver again extended his hands to meet Elio, who looked at him with his eyes full of tears.

The boy abruptly sobbed and overcame the distance between them in one jump and rushed to Oliver in embrace. Elio sobbed, buried in Oliver's chest, while he quietly embraced him stroking his back and whispering in his ear "I'm not going anywhere."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE thanks to Bellarosa for the help in the translation.  
> All your thoughts and comments are much appreciated!


	10. There are only boys in the apartment or some like it hot!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elio and Oliver are alone in the apartment. What`s going to happen?

It seems like an eternity while Elio came to himself. All this long year full of pain, resentment and anger burst out into the uncontrollable stream of tears. Oliver's shirt was soaked through, but the man did not think to move. Oliver sat quietly hugging Elio buried his nose in his hair. When the boy calmed down slightly at last, he moved timidly away from Oliver breathing heavily and intermittently. Elio did not know what to say. There were so many words, but he did not want to say them at all. He felt exhausted, like after a long run, terribly hungry for food and Elio was glad that he could feel the hunger. The only thing that he wanted stronger than food   - was _HIM_. He timidly reached forward for the kiss but the man stopped him with a firm hand.

"Do not even think about it, Elio. You need to eat. I will not leave until I see you with an empty plate".

"Good. I'm dying of hunger to be honest. I'm not sure that I have anything edible in the fridge ... "

"Do not worry about it, consider me as the second Mafalda. There is spaghetti with vegetables for dinner, which must have cooled slightly. I'll heat up the dinner and it’ll be waiting for you, okay?"

"Ok".

Oliver stood quietly and headed towards the exit from the room. Elio decided to wash and come to life a little in the bathroom after experiencing the hysterics. He washed his face thoroughly, brushed his teeth, tried to comb the unruly curls but it needed shampoo. Elio set himself a mental tick that he should take a shower after dinner, there was no strength before, and his stomach was already in pain because of hunger. He saw a table covered for two and Oliver, who was hurriedly putting the plates on it, when he went into the living room all in the same pajamas that he was in before, but freshened.

"Do not stand there, it's actually your apartment and I'm a guest here. Sit down quickly. Everything is ready. Remember that I will not let you off the table until you eat everything" - Oliver looked hilarious in Aunt May's apron with flowers while busily running around the kitchen looking for missing appliances.

"This is suits you!" - Elio gives out almost bending over laughing.

"No, well, he's mocking me again! Can you stop giggling so we can eat at last? Today was a very long day ..."

"I'm sorry; you're just really good looking." - Elio happily started eating, wondering at himself in his own ability to undress Oliver with his eyes even at such kind of moment.

* * *

 

 

Oliver has cleaned from a table and has begun to wash utensils while Elio silently sat on that most artful sofa after them quickly having coped with a supper.

"Will you stay here tonight?"

"Yes, and do not think I should be expelled. I have to make sure that you sleep properly today and have a normal breakfast in the morning. I'll lie on the couch and I will not bother you. By the way, you can already go. You need a very good rest".

"I was off for hours, so I got enough sleep. And I definitely need to take a bath. I feel the sickly scent of my hair. It's disgusting!"

"Ok. Then I'll make you a bathroom".

"Well done!" - Elio responded from the sofa with some naughty laugh.

Oliver quickly figured out the remnants of the dishes and hurried to fill the bathroom for Elio. Standing in front of the dressing table filled with a whole arsenal of some jars with shampoos, shower gels and foam for baths the man chose a bright orange bottle which smelled treacherously fresh peaches. Oliver gave himself a mental slap in the face for lecherous thoughts which popped up in his head involuntarily when the room filled with peach flavor. Oliver checked the water temperature, put a large towel next to it and called Elio after he filled the bathroom to the required level.

"Everything is ready. I think it will be good for you. So settle down and rest. I'll be in the living room, call me if you want".

"I think you should stay here. I might feel bad and I will disappear right in the water suddenly - Elio said it with such an innocent voice that there was no doubt that the motive was faked - I can drown, Oliver".

"All right, I'll stay, but ..." Oliver did not have time to finish his thought as Elio pulled off the top of his pajamas with quick brisk movements, and reached for his trousers while Oliver tried to remember what he was trying to say.

Elio stood before him completely naked, not a bit uncomfortable with his nudity, even on the contrary defiantly looking at the man. He really changed since last summer. Elio's shoulders became wider and more muscular, and he sparkled with an elegant tummy. But despite some changes, he was still significantly smaller than Oliver in all possible places. The boy clearly enjoyed Oliver`s reaction to this little show.

Finally, Elio climbed into the tub filled to the brim with warm water and an endless amount of foam in which he literally sank.

"I think you overdid it with foam for baths, Oliver. Do you even see me from under these foamy mountains, hanging from all sides?"

"It's hard not to notice you" Oliver replied with a slight note of a call in his voice.

The whole show with the undressing and bathing of such a desirable body had a very unambiguous effect on Oliver. All that he wanted now is to touch his favorite places of Elio, kiss his lips and enjoy the reaction. Obedient to his instinct Oliver slowly sat down next to the bath tub, and ran his hand into the water right in the shirt. He groped for Elio's ankle, who shuddered a little when he felt the weight of a familiar hand on his leg. Oliver slowly moved his hand up Elio's leg while he was looking straight into his eyes after he made sure that his touch does not cause any negative emotions. When the man's hand began to move higher and higher along his thigh the boy breathed more and more but did not take his eyes off Oliver's face who deliberately bypassed his cock; he realized that the erection was already craving for a touch. Oliver's hand moved ever higher, first caressing Elio's stomach, then probing his chest and playing with his right nipple. The man's fingers gripped it slightly, and then touched lightly ... causing the owner to groan with pleasure. A hard-on in Oliver's trousers already painfully wanted to be inside this provocateur, but the man realized that Elio needed rest, because the pressure of passion, which inevitably collapses on the boy definitely will kill him. Oliver finally moved his hand further feeling Elio's neck as he breathed hotly no longer trying to look into the lover's eyes but throwing back his head absorbing the waves of pleasure. His overturned head, bright pink lips from which came sweet moans, long eyelashes of closed eyes and wet curls left Oliver with no chance of retreat. The man slowly leaned forward still caressing the neck of his lover, and lightly touched the tongue of Elio's lips, which instantly swung open, giving full access inside. The mute request for a kiss was immediately executed: Oliver's hot tongue at last began to caress Elio's tongue.

Elio's hand instantly flew up to Oliver's hair and clung tightly to it, not giving the slightest hint of the possibility of stopping the kiss. This kiss quickly went beyond simply passionate. Elio's hand pushed Oliver's hair ever closer and closer while the man caressed his neck. The room was filled with their moans and the sounds of soap bubbles bursting from the movements. At some point, Oliver realized that he simply could not breathe while in this position. He severely cut off the kiss, causing a groan of disappointment from his lover.

"You're too weak, Elio. We should not ... "

"But I want it!!! " - Elio practically begged with eyes to continue what he had started.

"Less than an hour ago, you accused me of wanting only sex from you not a relationship, I do not want to give you a reason to decide that it's true, Elio, because it's not.

"Forget what I said, just take me!"

"I restrain myself from the last forces, so as not to attack you, because you are still very weak, and I do not want to hurt you, but I will definitely do it if I allow myself everything that is now so vividly circling in my head".

"Oliver!" Elio raised himself on his elbow and kissed Oliver's neck eagerly, he did not hesitate for a second. He knew full well how much his lover liked it.

"Easy, easy, boy. We will do it my way. Lie down and relax" - Oliver said with an aggressive-dominant tone.

The boy immediately obeyed leaning his elbows on the edge of the tub and putting his hands in the water.

"Excellent ... Elio, we will not have sex until you feel better, and I`ll not be sure that you’re fine and can handle it!"

"But ..!"

"But that does not mean that I'll let you get out of this bath with this impressive hard-on." Oliver nodded at Elio's penis which was perfectly visible through the water.

The man again put his hand into the water, but this time, going straight to Elio's erection. At first he slowly stroked the head, then tightly squeezed the limb at the base and began to smoothly move his hand along the trunk, again looking into the eyes of the lover. Elio groaned shamelessly with pleasure simultaneously moving his hips towards his caressing hand. Oliver slightly increased the pace and amplitude of movements. The man felt the impending discharge of his lover when he decided to extend the pleasure to both of them and stopped abruptly. He removed his hand from the pulsating cock, gently stroked the testicles and found the coveted passage of the boy quickly. He easily pressed his index finger on a tight ring of muscles. Elio responded to this action with a completely vulgar groan. He breathed intermittently, his hands tightly clenched with the fists. Oliver penetrated his finger inside barely noticeably increasing the pressure. Oliver slowly moved his hand still not interrupting eye contact, pulling out moans from the lips of his lover. When the muscles relaxed enough, he penetrated the second finger stretching the tight Elio`s walls wider. Oliver caressed Elio with slow, steady movements; the boy seemed ready to crumble into millions of small pieces. The man felt the muscles around his fingers contract more and more, marking the approach of orgasm. He returned his hand to Elio's cock in one movement, tightening it with a tight ring. The boy moaned and arched from every movement of Oliver's hand, until he was beaten by a small tremor, splashed outward with white hot streams of orgasm.

The overtaken orgasm almost cut down Elio again, who is still recovering, while Oliver was washing his head with gentle massaging movements. Elio had to allow himself to be carried to the bed in Oliver`s arms, as he could barely stand.

"Where can I get your pajamas?" Oliver asked while he placed Elio on the bed carefully.

"I want to sleep without it. I want to feel you".

"It seemed to me that we agreed on the account of sec ..."

"We'll just sleep. Nothing more. I promise. Just lie down with me please. I do not want to fall asleep alone; I’ll know that you are close".

"Okay." Oliver kissed Elio on the cheek, undressed, turned on the alarm clock, placing him on the opposite side of the bed, and quickly ducked under the blanket.

Elio really did not have the energy for any activity after what was in the bathroom, so he quickly pressed himself against Oliver's chest throwing back half of his body to him and immediately closed his eyes, listening to the breathing of his beloved under him.

"Elio ..." Oliver called quietly.

"Hmmm ..." the boy said in a half-sleepy voice.

_"I love you"._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE thanks to Bellarosa for the help in the translation.  
> All your thoughts and comments are much appreciated!


	11. Are you a friend or foe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! This story has 100 kudos! I'm shocked! Of course, it is just an insignificant number by the standards of the site. But it is a great achievement for me. I decided to write this story because I wanted to be a part of a fandom mostly. And I did not hope that my bad written story would be interesting for at least someone. Thanks to everyone who reads and comments. And a special thanks to the best beta tester in the world (and a lovely girl, a real friend) - bellarosa for all her help!

The bell of the alarm clock pulled Oliver out of the strongest sleep in the last year. The man was barely able to open his eyes; he hardly understood where he was. He could recognize only peacefully snugged Elio beside him. Oliver neatly rose from the bed after he hurriedly turned off the alarm; he tried to make as little noise as possible, so as not to wake the boy. Elio, in turn, slept soundly. There was not a hint of a possible awakening on his face, so Oliver decided not to wake him for breakfast, and to leave a note with instructions where to find food. After taking a shower and quickly gathered himself, Oliver prepared an omelet with the remains of vegetables and carefully left food on the table in hope that Elio will eat everything when he wakes up. There was no time; Oliver already knew that he was seriously late. And he needed to find somewhere at least a new clean shirt, because his was all covered with Elio`s blood. Oliver puzzled Debs the question of finding the shirt for him (he used Aunt Mae's phone), who promised to do everything in her best with such a joyful intonation that the telephone tube seemed to explode from the flow of her energy. Glancing before going to the bedroom to check Elio and put a note with instructions about food, Oliver was not at all surprised to find the boy in the same condition in which he had left him. The young professor ran to work.

Two lectures flew by unnoticed because Oliver had not arrived in such a fine mood for a long time. He spent the whole night in bed with his beloved man. And let it be very tragic circumstances, the fact was that, it seems, the first step was made, and Elio slowly began to thaw, Oliver was immensely pleased with it. As if he did not want to run after all the lectures back to Aunt May's flat, he just had to see Debs and tell her everything. Otherwise, it would be possible to run into a lack of help the next time and, frankly, Oliver really wanted to share with her everything that happened over the past day.

"Boss, I just cannot believe ... God! So many things had happened! And I could not ever think that you are so romantic. You really love him, right? "- Debs practically sobbed with happiness after she have listened to the detailed Oliver`s story.

"I love him so much that it's pains me to breathe, Debs".

"Oliver..." Debs jumped out of the chair and hugged the boss tightly.

"I understand perfectly well that this is far from an end, there is a very long way to go, but it seems to me that we have already made the first step. But I'm so afraid to come to him today and again to get into the wall of resentment and anger at me".

"So you should do everything to destroy this wall! Have not you ever begged forgiveness for stupid actions before?"

"To be honest, no ... Ketherine just agreed with all my decisions without arguments, and I’m not saying anything about my college girls..."

"So, Ollie, what does he like to do?"

"Well ... a lot ... but, perhaps, music is more than anything else".

"Here's the answer. It sounds trite, but everyone loves presents. And, at times, even modest secretaries..."

"A hint understood, Dabs".

Oliver decided to drop into the nearby music store and choose a gift for Elio after he had finished all his work. The musical instrument was an obvious choice, but a couple of good records perfectly fitted, especially since the man saw the player in the living room. Oliver did not flatter himself and asked for help from the seller, who quickly found two rare records with recordings of concert versions of the works of his beloved Elio composers performed by the New York Orchestra. Armed with plates and a whole package of products, Oliver flew to Aunt May's house in minutes.

* * *

 

Elio woke up with a loud knock at the door of the apartment. He hardly understood how much time had passed and he was staggering with dizziness. Elio pulled on his pajama pants and went to open the door holding himself by the wall. The sun was shining in the living room and it was the middle of the day judging by the noise from the street. A knock at the door intensified; there was Oliver's excited voice from the other side of the door. He was nervously shouting the name of the boy.

"God, Elio, I thought you were unconscious again! I already wanted to run to look for a phone to call rescuers and an ambulance" - Oliver walked into the apartment without waiting for an invitation, put the bags on the floor and embraced Elio so tightly that his ribs cracked.

"Oh, my God, you're crushing me!"

"Forgive me, forgive me. I was a little scared. Are you just awake?"

"I do not think I'd wake up if it were not for your eerie knock on the door."

"Elio, did you really sleep all this time?"

"Wait, what time is it? Am I late for the lecture?"

"Almost three days already, Elio. You slept almost 16 hours. How are you feeling?"

"What the hell, Oliver, why did not you wake me? There were two lectures in history today, and I just overslept it."

"And how would you go on it in this condition? When I left, you slept like a dead man. But I could not think that you would sleep all this time. And I thought that I had problems ... Do not worry about the lectures, I'll get a plan from Stephens and you'll know what you missed. But you just needed rest and it seems you need it so far".

"I'm just a little dizzy. Nothing is fatal. And I really feel better, thank you" - the memory of yesterday's bath was gradually returning to Elio, who was already ready to fall through the earth with embarrassment for his own lust.

"Maybe I should take you to the hospital?"

"No no. I feel better! Really better! I think I'll be fine by tomorrow".

"Let me know if it gets worse. We'll go to the hospital right away, okay?"

"Yes, Mom!"

"Elio, this is not a joke. I do not want you to turn off again. Maybe you should lie down and rest and I'll cook dinner?"

"I do not mind. I think I'm very hungry".

While Oliver was in the kitchen Elio settled on a couch which escaped the bloody waterfall from the nose of his household by a miracle. Elio looked at Oliver. The picture of him unfurled before the boy's eyes awakened something strange inside him, he could not understand what. Seeing Oliver in the kitchen in the process of cooking - it was so surreal. Elio seemed to be still asleep and dreaming about the life that they could have. The house, the dog, the old grand piano in the living room, the huge shelves with books, the office for Oliver, full of different papers and gifts from grateful students, a bedroom with a huge bed and windows in the garden, a small collection of wines in the cellar and maybe even a children's room... All this seemed so real and so unreal at the same time. Maybe under the influence of meds that were given to him in the hospital, or maybe just by itself the future that Elio's imagination drew was becoming more and more distinct. He could move In with Oliver just the other day, complete his studies, helping his partner with work at the university, they together could again return to Italy during the holidays, they would have a real romantic holiday, traveling along the coast, and having returned, maybe got engaged... How such thoughts managed to find their place in Elio's head? After all, the boy clearly understood that he was still angry with Oliver and was not ready to forgive him and forget everything so easily, starting from scratch. Elio could not help hearing the words of his lover, "I love you." These words were the most desired in the world, but could they be trusted?

The young man's thoughts were interrupted by a loud phone call. Elio picked up the phone without getting up from the sofa and immediately cheered up after hearing a familiar voice on the other end of the wire.

"Daddy, hello! I'm so glad you called. How do you?" - Elio saw Oliver involuntarily slowed down all his actions, listening to the conversation.

"We are more than ok with my son, tell me about yourself. Oliver called us and told us everything about the hospital and your condition, he assured that he would look after you and in general that the doctors did not find anything serious, but we are terribly worried about you! How do you feel? "

"I’m much better, thanks. I'm more upset that I slept through a whole day of lectures" - Oliver did not even pretend that he did not listen to the conversation he looked directly at Elio.

"Elio, my boy, you must take more care of yourself. Rest more, eat well and not worry about trifles. Are you sure that we should not call and tell Aunt May to come and help you? "

"Of course, not. She was waiting for this trip. I can quite manage here myself especially with Oliver who helps me a lot".

"I'm glad that you have someone to look after. My mother and I more than trust Oliver, but you should promise to listen more to your body and relax more. A little absenteeism did not kill anyone. In addition, I am sure that this will not affect your academic performance. And we need you alive and healthy, so listen to Oliver, I'm sure he'll put you on your feet".

"I'll rest more, I promise, dad. And do not worry about me. I will manage, especially with my friend with me" - as soon as Elio said this, he immediately regretted it. Although he did not know how to characterize their relationship with Oliver at this stage, he could not help but notice how these words hurt him.

"Oh, sure... And, Elio ... if there is anything, I'm always here to help".

"Thank you, Dad, I know. Thank you for calling. Love you!"

Elio timidly glanced at Oliver, who was glaring at him after he hung up the phone. The man seemed frozen and could not move. The silence reigned on Elio so much that he finally decided to explain himself.

"Oliver..."

"A couple more minutes and dinner will be ready" – Elio was cut short in mid-sentence, Oliver turned away sharply and continued to fuss over the preparation of food.

Elio felt himself terribly bad at ease because of what happened. He knew perfectly well what caused such a reaction, and why there were literally visible black currents of energy now from the other end of the room. Elio neatly rose from the couch; he happily noted to himself that his head was already much less dizzy. He silently went to Oliver from behind.

"Oliver, I cannot say how we should call our relationship yet and ..." Elio slowly put his arm around the man from behind, his face buried in his neck.

"You do not have to explain anything to me. You can call me anything you want. I only ask you to first get better" - Oliver answered without turning to the boy and continuing manipulation with food - "Lunch will be ready in 3 minutes".

Suddenly, the whole rainbow picture with the house and the dog was scattered into small pieces. The cold tone with which Oliver responded left no chance to doubt that the word "friend" had hit him hard. Moreover, Elio did not know what to do. Why is everything so difficult? Why could not he decide if he was ready to put Oliver back in his life, and at the same time felt disgustingly simply calling him a friend? Why could not he just believe Oliver's words, why could not he say the same words in response? Why did he have a headache again?

"Oliver, can you help me get to the couch? It seems I'm dizzy again", Elio said when he clutched Oliver's shirt desperately to stay still.

The man immediately turned sharply, looking at the boy with concern, turned off the stove, picked up Elio, and carried him to the sofa instantly.

"How do you feel?"

"Can I eat right here?"

"Of course" - Oliver hurried back to the stove; he placed a whole mountain of food on a plate quickly, and just as quickly returned to the couch.

"You're crazy, I will not eat that much."

"Then it's for the two of us."

Oliver sat down beside him smiling. Elio was hungry, he literally snapped at the food. He destroyed quickly the most of the contents of the plate, than he gave the rest to the neighbor. Elio felt much better after he had finished eating, and he himself offered to help Oliver with the cleaning.

"What do you want to do?" He asked cheekily.

"Actually, I was thinking of listening to music with you".

"Oh, I do not have many records yet, but I think I'll find something..."

"I think I know what I'd like to hear. Since there is no piano here, and I cannot hear you play, I thought that maybe we'll listen to the New York Orchestra playing?"

Elio looked questioningly at Oliver; he completely not knew what he was talking about. The puzzled face of the boy apparently spoke for itself, so the man quickly began to look for something in a nearby package.

"I want you to feel better, Elio. Therefore, I hope that this will raise your spirits a little and help you to rest better". Oliver took out two records from the package with these words and handed them to Elio. The boy was completely stunned.

"That's for me?"

"Do you see anyone else here? Of course that`s for you".

Elio took the records with trembling hands and studied their contents while Oliver patiently waited for the reaction to the gift. After he viewed the plates on both sides, the boy put them on the kitchen counter, where a few minutes ago Oliver carefully chopped vegetables for dinner.

"You don`t like it? I chose something wrong. I can take them back; you can choose whatever you want. I can get them back!" - Oliver blurted out, he obviously embarrassed by such a cold reaction.

"Oliver!" - Elio stopped the incessant stream of disappointment from the mouth of the man with his index finger to his lips. He came close to him; he hugged him by the back of his head with his other hand, and kissed Oliver gently on the lips, moving his finger to the chin of his lover. The men kissed gently, touching each other almost weightlessly, while Elio did not interrupt the kiss.

"Thank you, Oliver." Elio whispered. He was still in millimeters from the lips of his lover.

"If your gratitude will always be expressed by such kisses, I am ready to bring you records every day".

"You do not have to fill me with presents to kiss me."

"I want to not only kiss you, Elio. I want to be with you. Always. Not only as your friend".

"I think I'm ready to try ... to be with you ... not only as a friend. Do you want to stay with me today?"

"You can be sure that I'm already in bed with you in your pajama pants, if they get on me, of course."

“They will not! Moreover, you will have to sleep completely naked. Will you manage it?"

"More than yes. Will you join me in this "no-pajama party"?

"I'm ready to start it right now!" - Elio again stretched at the lips of a man for a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me for the delay. It was a terrible week. I had a lot of work.  
> All your thoughts and comments are much appreciated!


	12. The teaser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready for some smuuuuuuuuuut?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thanks to the best beta tester in the world - bellarosa for all her help!

It seemed that all the indisposition disappeared at the speed of light as soon as Elio's lips touched _HIS_ lips. Crazy heat spread through his body concentrating on his lower abdomen while Oliver’s hands clasped into his frail shoulders. Time and space ceased to exist for the boy. His only reality was Oliver who kissed him so passionately that his legs barely had the strength to hold the weight of a fragile little boy. He was gasping at the animal desire that descended upon him. Elio freed himself from the captivity of a sweet kiss; he was hoping to get even more.

“Take me!” - Elio whispered with a voice quivering with tension.

Oliver looked as if he had just ran a marathon: tattered hair, ruddy cheekbones, lost breathing. He stared at the boy defocused; he was trying to regain control of his breathing. Elio was already prepared to hear another refusal motivated by concern for his health, but it seems that he did not correctly appreciate the power of his influence on a man. Oliver nodded silently; he was literally tearing off his shirt from his body. A pair of buttons scattered around the corners of the kitchen, they became the victims of such a stormy stripping. Finally, Elio once again could enjoy the view of his lover’s gorgeous beloved body. He didn`t hesitate not a second, the boy snapped back on Oliver’s lips again, he was desperately trying to embrace any part of his lover. Unable to hold back the groans born inside him, Elio moaned loudly into a kiss that contained more tongue and teeth than a light touch of lips. Oliver's hands were gripping Elio's shoulders tightly, then they finally began to descend lower and lower, caressing the boy`s back, pressing him tightly. The boy perfectly felt the erection of his partner through the light fabric of his pajama pants, while Oliver was covering his neck with wet kisses. Elio did not fully understand whether everything is happening in reality or was he dreaming of all this on a sore head? He had collected the remnants of his own strength, slightly pulled away from the man who looked at him with a completely predatory gaze. Elio was trying to regain a sense of the reality of what was happening.

"Is it a dream? Am I sleeping? Are you real?" - Elio mumbled, while he was stroking his lover's neck.

"You are reading my thoughts. It's not a dream. You are not sleeping. And I’m not asleep. And it seems that we are both real". - Oliver smiled shyly, he was nestling closer to the boy again.

Elio timidly pressed against the man’s body in response, he was trying to pull his pants off of him with shaking hands. The pants did not want to give in. In the response to this, Oliver freed Elio's hips from his pajamas with one light movement, he playfully squeezed the boy`s little elastic buttocks so much that the boy even moaned loudly from his lips. Elio returned to Oliver's lips, he was too excited when he suddenly felt strong hands on his hips. They made his legs spread apart and lifted them up as a result of this simple maneuver, Elio found himself in Oliver’s arms, he was tightening his legs tightly around his lover`s waist. Yes, they definitely should have moved to a bed that he didn’t have time to think about it. But it seems that Oliver had other plans. Oliver neatly put Elio on ... the kitchen table after he took a couple of steps still not looking up from his caresses. Elio was comfortably seated on the very edge of the table.

"What do you want, Elio?" - Oliver asked, after he had looked up from the lover's neck.

"You! _I want you_!" - the boy already literally whined from desire.

Oliver laid Elio on the table in one motion, he was stroking his belly and chest with his hands. Elio tried to concentrate on his breathing in order to distract himself somehow; otherwise he could have come right in his pants even before Oliver really touched him. Elio saw how Oliver`s pants were hiding the obvious hard on poorly. The pants were already quite clearly soaked in obvious places from natural lubrication. The boy silently prayed to himself that Oliver`s mind would not return to his lover and that they would not be interrupted. But his fears were in vain because they had already gone too far and Oliver clearly ceased to control himself and completely surrendered to instinct. All this became quite obvious for Elio, when instead of simply pulling his pajama shirt to the end, Oliver quickly and abruptly tore it, leaving the shocked boy completely naked and completely open to his lover`s greedy gaze. The man leaned toward Elio's torso, he was running his tongue from the boy`s lips to the navel, then he bit his right nipple playfully which caused goosebumps all over Elio’s body. Oliver easily coped with his own fly with one hand, he removed his pants with such speed that the military would surely envy. Over the past year the memory about Oliver`s cock managed to fade in the memory of Elio. Therefore, when the boy saw it again he involuntarily shrank into a slight nervous fear. Oliver was not cheated by nature and it was really painful on their first night (How could he forget?). Elio did not expect any fear from himself, but what he saw sharply stirred up all the memories that he thought had sunk into oblivion. Oliver apparently did not notice the fright on the boy’s face since he was completely consumed with caresses. Still a little nervous Elio finally allowed himself to relax and surrender to the sensations. His lover gently stroked his entire body; he was paying special attention to the inner thigh muscles, which were slightly trembling from the strain.

"Damn, Elio, if you could see yourself with my eyes. You are amazing, Elio! I want you, madly!" - Oliver barely had enough breath to speak. He was full of blush with even more tattered hair; he could not tear his eyes away from Elio before him.

“So what are you waiting for? _I'm all yours_ ”.

The man threw the boy's hands over his head after he had given the young man a greedy look from head to toe. Oliver tightly pressed the boy`s hands to the table and bended over his face with a wet kiss on his lips. Finally, the man broke away from the sweet lips. Elio gasped from desire. Oliver put his free hand to his lover`s mouth and pressed slightly, he was making it clear what he was expecting from his partner. He gave him the opportunity to open his mouth obediently and to start lick his fingers with a moan of pleasure. Elio enthusiastically began to immerse Oliver's fingers deeper and deeper into his mouth, he greedily sucked on them. Elio smiled to himself about the obvious reaction of his partner - Oliver was moaning in time with the movements of his tongue. Elio was unable to bear their foreplay anymore; he was desperately trying to catch a piece of pleasure with his own movements with his pelvis. Oliver, who looked like a real madman by that time, took his fingers out of Elio’s mouth, moved his hand between his lover’s legs with one movement and pressed two fingers inside firmly. A sharp, slightly painful movement full of inexpressible pleasure forced Elio to bend his back and throw his head back gasping for air. The boy responded to every movement of the hand of his partner with a loud groan, he was unable to contain his own voice.

"Hush, hush, baby, I'm with you. Relax, Elio". - Oliver whispered while his fingers made the hole of the partner wider.

Elio became more and more relaxed and surrendered to his exciting feelings while he was listening to the voice of his lover. The uncomfortable and painful sensation was quickly replaced by streams of pleasure that permeated his entire body. The echoes of an approaching orgasm frightened by their reality, the boy did not want to come so quickly without getting what he wanted.

"Take me! Take me, Oliver! _Please!_ " - Elio groaned imploringly in the hope that his lover would understand the extent of the despair in his voice.

Oliver obediently took his fingers out of the breathless and reddened boy, he moved his lover's hips closer to the edge of the table with one vulgar movement. He carefully positioned the head of his cock near the rim that was ready to receive it after he had brushed his cock with his saliva. Oliver slowly pushed into a narrow hole while he was squeezing Elio's hips tightly with his hands. Elio surrendered forward towards his lover, he was clinging to the edges of the table, he was hoping for full contact as soon as possible. He quickly and deftly wrapped his legs around the waist of his lover; the boy tried sitting down on Oliver's cock until it stopped. He was at home again. He was again with him. Elio had a feeling of integrity and endless happiness fill his chest. Oliver began to move, slowly at first, carefully; he almost completely left Elio`s hole several times and sank back full-length once again. He was gently stroking the belly of his beloved; then he was slightly increasing the tempo and reducing the amplitude of the frictions, Oliver moved steadily, admiring Elio curving under him. It was obvious that the man perfectly understood the condition of his partner, because he himself was near the limit. He gripped the pulsating Elio’s cock with a hard brush, and moving his hand in time with his own penetrations, he pushed the guy towards detente, which was not long in coming. Millions of electrical discharges ran over Elio's body splashing white liquid on his stomach, while his back arched in ecstasy, and the moans drowned out the noise from the street. Elio's enchanting orgasm could not reflect on his partner, who moved quickly and raggedly, until finally it hits him with all his strength launching a wave of light convulsions from head to toe. Oliver came deep into his lover`s body.

Oliver gently took out his cock from his lover`s body, he was breathing heavily and barely abled to stand on his feet after an orgasm. Elio was still lying on the table; he had not moved and tried to move away from what happened, he looked so sexy that the man felt like he was getting hard again. Oliver reached for the kitchen headset for a towel hanging beside him to erase the traces of their love time from his beloved body, he was hurrying to drive away the thoughts about Elio`s naked body. Oliver stared anxiously at the still immovable Elio after he had successfully completed the task.

“Are you ... um ... okay?” - asked Oliver lightly touching the partner`s cheek.

There was no answer for a few seconds, which finally convinced the man that he was too rough with his beloved one.

"I am fine. More than fine. Not sure, though, that I can sit normally tomorrow, but it was definitely worth it!" - Finally uttered Elio.

"Please forgive me, I had to hold back. You are not healthy yet and I allowed myself to take advantage of the situation so roughly".

"Oh, just do not start self-flagellation. It seems to me, or did I start it? I wanted it, Oliver. And I really liked it. Don't even blame yourself. In addition, it seems I even got better, I mean my health!" - Elio began to laugh quietly as soon as he realized the essence of what he was said.

“So, now I’m definitely carrying you to a bed and you won’t get up until tomorrow. I`ll bring dinner to you to the bed".

“Hey, the table came in handy. It always seemed to me superfluous in this room. I will never think so badly of it again!”  - Elio quietly raised himself on his elbows to look at his lover while he was still smiling fervently.

"God, you're such a teaser!"

"And you like it!"

"I madly like it!"

Finally, Oliver picked up Elio in his arms and gently carried him into the bedroom, where he quickly placed the already snoring boy on the bed. As soon as his head touched the pillow, the boy opened his eyes and looked timidly at Oliver.

"What?" - Oliver asked uncomprehendingly, while he was stroking Elio`s hair.

“Nothing ...” answered Elio, he was flushed.

"Hey, what is it?" - Oliver gently squeezed his cheek.

"It seems that... I want a second round" - Elio buried his face in the pillow.

"You`re a teaser!" - Oliver slowly leaned over Elio's face for a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All your thoughts and comments are much appreciated!


	13. Truth or dare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who reads and comments! I did not send this chapter for a checking to my beautiful bellarosa because there must be a limit to everything. I do not want to strain her with my worthless works. Because she has her own life and her own work here on AO3. So most likely, there will be a couple of errors in the text. Feel free to text me (in comments or in insta "lenadavinci") if you find mistakes. Thank you for your understanding and support.

"I’ll just clear the table, ok? We made a little mess there and I think your aunt will not be delighted with this," Oliver whispered while he gently stroked Elio's cheek.  
"Yeah, sure".

As soon as the door behind Oliver had been closed, Elio burst in embarrassment under the blanket. Awareness of what had happened has just covered him with a wave of confusion. Feeling Oliver next to him, inside of his body, feeling his touch, his hot tongue sliding over his skin ... it was like plunging again into a cool river after an exhausting day in the heat. Every kiss, every movement of Oliver echoed in Elio's body with a slight tremor. How was it possible to want  _HIM_  so badly after they did it in the kitchen so dirty and passionately? Elio could not help but listen to the sensations in his body: the hot desire stubbornly concentrated in the lower abdomen again, and his muscles sank like after good strength training. And tomorrow it will be definitely hurt to sit! This thought made the boy laugh so much that he began to giggle defiantly while rolling on the bed from one side to the other. It was amazing how his body reacted to Oliver. There was no hint of fear or doubt. There was only absolute lust. Elio could think only about  _HIM_  inside his body. Why didn't he want this with Derek? And why did Elio was more than pleased with his more active position on that single night with the bartender? Why did everything he wants next to Oliver - is to obey his wishes without any question? Was it a manifestation of weakness or dependence? Could it be that Oliver’s unshakable confidence in his abilities was acting on him like that? Would he be able to fuck Oliver as Derek? Obviously interested in such a proposal the boy`s cock responded as a silent answer to an internal question. Yes, they already did it in Crema, but then Elio was so frightened by what was happening, that he could hardly remember that night. Was it good for Oliver? Did he hurt him? Did Oliver moan? Did he say anything? All these questions remained unanswered for Elio. The involuntarily strayed thought about the repeating similar experiences was almost instantly driven out by a huge wave of fear. He was clearly not ready to show himself in this way alongside Oliver. "Someday," he replied to himself and pleased with such a thought embraced the pillow even more tightly, while the consciousness which was tormented by a mass of activities turned off in a second.

* * *

 

 He woke up in the middle of the night as if someone had suddenly turned the energy switch on him to full. He was lying on his bed completely alone. There was no sight of Oliver. The bed was cold and empty like Elio's heart. He was instantly shaking in pain. "How could I believe that he would stay with me? What he will not leave as soon as getting what he wants? I am a worthless fool!"- the stream of self-blame, which swept through Elio's head like an avalanche along the mountain slope made him start stifling tears again without sound. He was involuntarily shaking from the cold when the room was more than warm. The thought about an old Bourbon bottle in Aunt May`s cupboard in the kitchen gave him the strength to get out of bed and hurry to hear the call of his heart, which wanted to drown in alcoholic madness. Elio stumbled into a more than the strange picture when he busted into the living room: Oliver slept sweetly on that couch, in a pile of some papers and with a pencil in his hand. His snoring echoed all over the room, and the paper was continually heaving on his chest in a millimeter from falling to the floor. Taken aback, Elio did not know what to think. Obviously, Oliver did not come to his bed today but he did not leave the apartment too. And what the hell was going on there? Elio felt terribly angry.

  
"Oliver! What are you doing here?" - Elio cried out loudly when he kicked the offender with his foot on the knee. 

"What? Elio?" - Oliver could hardly understand where he was, therefore he mumbled something unintelligible in response.

"Oliver, why didn`t you come back? I ... I was waiting for you!" - Elio cried with the tears.

"Elio, Elio, I'm sorry. I... I seem to have passed out while I was checking the work of your group by the way. As you can guess - this is not the most fascinating reading".

"Why didn't you come?" - Elio gradually began to calm down.

"I came, but you slept like a log. I did not want to wake you up with my fuss and I had to check the works before the previous seminar, so I decided to stay here. And as you can see I just turned off during the task".

"So, you didn't want to leave?" - Elio babbled completely childish.

"No, never!"

The relief caused by the realization that Oliver was not going anywhere pleased the boy even more. He threw off the remnants of paper from the man in one motion, climbed into his lap and nuzzled in the dimple behind the ear.

"I don't want you to go," the boy whispered almost silently, while he was choking with tears of relief. He did not realize that he had already spoken such words, and Oliver had heard them.

"I'll never leave you, Elio. I'm here with you" - this time sobbing little boy liked Oliver's answer much more - "Hey, you're shaking. Let's go back to bed, huh?"

A slight nod was quite enough for action, so soon Elio, who had already calmed down, hung on Oliver’s arms like a koala on a tree, while the man carried the emotionally unstable boy on the bed.

"I'm sorry, I'm such a crybaby". He was terribly ashamed of his stupid reaction. Elio could hardly speak when he was finally wrapped in a blanket in the tight embrace of  _HIS_  man.

"You don't need to apologize. I am to blame for the fact that you just can not believe me. I do not know how to return your trust. I don’t even know where to start ..."

"We can start by talking ..."

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Have you had a relationship with anyone this year?" - this question that haunted Elio the whole year burst out faster than he managed to stop it.

"I ..." Oliver faltered, he apparently tried to think about how to respond, which embarrassed Elio and forced him to rise on his elbows in order to better see the eyes of his lover.

"I ... dated with someone after my return. Katherine - my childhood friend and the daughter of my parents' business associates. We have known each other for ages, and we also dated before my trip to Crema. But I never had any love feelings for her, except for friendship maybe".

"Did you have a girlfriend when we met?" - Elio hatched on Oliver in sheer astonishment.

"No, Elio, no. We broke up a couple of months before that summer. And on my return, I could not date anyone for a long time. For the first few weeks, I could barely go out and talk to someone. In truth, it was a real torture. I so badly wanted to see you that I could not sleep at night without getting drunk on the state of an animal. Katherine and I got together again not so long ago, and rather by inertia. And she did not deserve such an attitude towards herself and such a lousy parting that I gave her, but ... I guess I’m just cursed to hurt everyone, who is next to me. I hurt you, hurt Kat, and hurt my parents, myself at the end of it all! I do not know what is wrong with me. I guess I'm just a pathetic coward who doesn’t deserve a second chance from an angel like you".

"Oliver, no, stop it. Do not say that! I’m in total emotional chaos and frankly I don’t understand my own emotions, which I control even worse, but please don’t say so about yourself. It hurts me to hear that. I'm still mad at you, but as long as you are with me, and as long as you are honest just like now, we can handle anything. I don't want to be mad at you forever, Oliver. Because, obviously, I just can not keep away from you... Katherine - is that all? Did you have someone else?"

"You mean men, don't you?" - Oliver answered slyly.

"Yes, damn it that's what I mean!"

"No, baby. No one. And it could not be. I'm afraid my head and heart are full of you!"

"Have you been thinking about me? Well ... in "that" sense?"

"There was not a second that I did not dream of your beautiful curls, intertwined between my fingers" - Oliver kissed his curly head.

"There was not a second that I did not dream of your tender lips and brisk tongue caressing my lips" - a kiss to the corner of his lips.

"There was not a second that I did not dream about your amazing skin, covered with goosebumps from my touch" - a kiss to the neck.

"There was not a second that I did not dream of the warmth and tightness of your body around my cock penetrating you from the inside... " - a kiss to the nipple.

Oliver's kisses resounded with a booming heat all over his body, it caused his toes to arch like a ballerina's. Elio`s cock was demanding attention, he was hard in a second.  His chest was rising close to the body of his lover. All boy`s body was tensed and screamed with lust. Elio felt a firm hand gently but surely pushed his shoulder, it was ordered for him to lie on his back. The desire that flared up with a new force made him obey the verbal and non-verbal commands of his lover unquestioningly. This immediately made the boy sit on his back with his legs slightly apart. Oliver briskly positioned himself between his legs, while he was kissing Elio invitingly on the neck. The feeling of his lover`s erection, which painfully rested against him somewhere just above the middle of the thigh, drove him insane and pulled out desperate moans from his mouth. Weasel of the men moved from the neck to the stomach and forced the heart to beat more often. That was the silent promise to move lower and lower. Oliver seemed to tease Elio on purpose because he was painting some patterns with his tongue on the delicate skin of the boy`s stomach. The path of wet kisses inevitably led to the epicenter of sexual arousal ready to splash out at any second. Elio pleaded for mercy from his lover, he was barely restraining himself from the pleasure and embarrassment of his own excessive sensitivity.

"God, Oliver. Do not tease me!"

"I just started, baby," - Oliver murmured, while he was kissing the inside of his left thigh.

Elio threw his head back on the pillow, his eyes closed and prepared for the long-awaited sensation of Oliver's lips and a hot mouth on his cock when suddenly his legs were almost near his ears with one sharp movement. He was firmly supported by his lover`s strong hands. Elio stared down with a little cry of surprise, he was dumbfounded. Oliver grinned at him with his most carnivorous smile. The man immediately pressed his lips to the still slightly stiff ring of muscles between the young man’s legs with a low moan. Oliver began to lick Elio with overwhelming greed and obvious pleasure. He pressed lightly on the boy`s rim with the very edge of the tongue. Then he led a long wet path with the flat side of his tongue from the tailbone to Elio's eggs. Oliver persistently penetrated the cherished ring of muscles, pushing his tongue deep into its alluring tightness. The boy was completely out of control over his moans, he was squirming on the bed, desperately clinging to his lover's hair. With all the desire of Elio to extend this sweet torture as long as possible, Oliver did not leave him a single chance with his movements. The last straw was Oliver's hand, which was tightly compressed by the ring around the Elio`s cock. He was moving the brush to the beat of the movements of his tongue. The man pushed his lover beyond reality for a couple of torn movements. The boy obediently watched on his lover with an indescribable expression of pleasure on his face unable to catch his breath and recover. Oliver lightly rubbed his finger on the boy`s stomach, he was collecting the result of his own efforts, then smoothly put his finger in his mouth and licked it without breaking an eye contact from the stunned Elio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All your thoughts and comments are much appreciated!


	14. Teenagers are always in doubts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And again, I present this chapter to you without verification by my editor and the most beautiful woman in the world bellarosa, so there will be a lot of mistakes (again) in the text. Please accept my apologies!  
> Feel free to text me (in comments or in insta "lenadavinci") if you find mistakes. Thank you for your understanding and support.

Elio could not help but note that he felt much better when he woke up the next morning. A couple of full meals, a couple of orgasms, a sound sleep in the arms of _his man_  - it seems it was the perfect cure for his health.  
He turned over on the other side, the boy faced the already forgotten noticeable pain in his ass. "Thank God, there is a subway in New York and I don`t have to ride a bicycle" - and again his own thought made Elio grin and dip into the veil of memories of yesterday and even more beautiful evening.  
Oliver slept peacefully beside him, he did not react to the movements of his lover and there was no doubt that he could to wake up. The boy did not dare to wake him; he only quietly turned in his direction and began to look at the man. Finally, Elio had the opportunity to truly see Oliver: every muscle, wrinkles, even a pore ... every hair...  
Elio watched and could not take his eyes off. His lover, who definitely sold his soul to the devil, looked even better than during their summer. The added pair of wrinkles and light stubble, appearing in a couple of days of abandoning the razor, made him more beautiful. Elio immediately wanted to see Oliver with a beard.  
He was sure that he would go to hell for his dirty thoughts. Obviously, there was a noticeable passion for sports for men, as well-defined muscles aroused too obvious a desire to touch it. The boy's hands opened one of the most beloved and desirable places on the body of his lover to his eyes when he slowly lifted the blanket.  
A chic morning erection invented by nature for the successful functioning of the male reproductive system was there for Edio in all its glory. The boy's mouth involuntarily filled with saliva at the sight of such a picturesque painting. Unable to tear his gaze and keep his hands with him, Elio pressed himself closer to the man, he grabbed Oliver's cock with a brush and kissed his ear noisily.  
"Insomnia?" - Oliver asked without opening his eyes and snorting.  
"Did you ever think to grow a beard?" - Elio voiced his thought, while he was playfully licking Oliver's earlobe with the tip of his tongue.  
"I will do it for you if you want".  
"Yes, I think you should do it!" - Elio continued to play with his tongue.  
"Are you not afraid that it will be ticklish? Well ... at certain moments ..." - Oliver finally opened his eyes and turned on his side, he was pulling Elio closer to him by the boy's waist.  
"Mmmm ... we will not try - we will not know" - Elio was already barely audible purring between tender kisses.  
Elio pressed himself against Oliver; he was lying comfortably on his arm as if on a pillow. He was embraced by Oliver's second hand. For the first time in a long time, he felt a lost feeling of absolute comfort and safety. Oliver kissed him gently on the top of his head, while he was gently stroking his back. Everything inside Elio seemed to be back in its place.  
The heat was again spreading through the body, this time concentrating in the chest area. Elio understood perfectly what it meant, but he was not ready to voice that thought. Yes, now they were quietly together in bed, hugging, and there was no limit to his own happiness.  
But what would happen when some time passes? Will Oliver still hold him tight? Will there be such a gentle kiss on the top of his head when passions cope and the first rapture passes? Was Oliver confident about his feelings? Elio still felt that huge hole in his heart after that summer. He still remembered too well that terrible pain that had been with him all this year. And though now he was happy, he was not ready to forgive Oliver. And he was not ready to trust him unconditionally.  
"What are you thinking about?" - As if feeling millions of doubts Oliver asked when he nestled even closer to the boy.  
"About the fact that I have a lot of work due to missed classes" - Elio did not want to share the true thoughts of this morning.  
"Something tells me that you will cope with everything perfectly, especially when you have me. The professor as your assistant is not a bad bonus at all, you know".  
"No, Oliver, no" - Elio moved away slightly to be able to look into his lover's eyes - "Promise me that you will not help me. I have to handle everything by myself. The rest of the students are not sleeping with their teachers, and it will be dishonest to use whatever your help".  
"God, Elio, I do not understand how your parents managed to do it!"  
"What are you talking about?"  
"I'm talking about you, your worldview, your beliefs ... You know, anyone in your place would not have thought about this for a second. You're just too good to be true! I promise not to interfere in your studies. I swear!"  
"That's great".  
"Elio, by the way, about this ... this is a bit of a sensitive subject, but ..." Oliver began to hesitate.  
"Yes, I know that teachers cannot date with students. I'm not stupid. I won't tell anyone, Oliver. Do not worry" - for some unknown reason, this topic has awakened even more resentment in the boy's soul.  
"I'm sorry, Elio. We are together now, and we are again forced to hide. It is so dishonest to you. As soon as I finish your course of lectures, we will cease to keep everything in secret, I promise. This is only until the end of the semester. Then we can be sure that I wouldn`t be kicked out of work".  
"I understand, Oliver. In addition, I think a little pretense will benefit my learning and you will be less tempted to overestimate me on exams" - Elio continued in a still extinct voice. The prospect of hiding their relationship with Oliver from the leadership of the university was not pleased the boy.  
"Maybe we will start to get ready for university together? We have plenty of time, and I prefer to lie with you like this all day, but today your group has a seminar, and I want to prepare. In addition, I did not finish to check all the works yesterday. I was distracted by more important and interesting activities ... - Oliver gently squeezed Elio's buttocks with his hand while he said the phrase.  
"May I take a shower first?" - Exclaimed Elio, jumping up from the bed, in an attempt to escape both from his lover and from his own thoughts.  
As soon as the bathroom door was closed, the streams of self-deprecating thoughts again rushed into battle, leaving no chance for the boy on a peaceful morning. Having quickly taken a shower, Elio came out of the bathroom; he was caught the inviting delicious smell of freshly baked pancakes. On the kitchen table of debauchery, there was already an impressive stack of pancakes, from which cherry jam flowed. Oliver, meanwhile, was finishing his coffee manipulations and smiling affably, while the stunned Elio again laughed to himself about the sight of his lover in Aunt May's funny apron.  
"Damn it, where did you learn to cook like that? If Mafalda knew that her rival was living under the same roof with her, she would not be so cute and friendly".  
"My parents always were at work, and I spent a lot of time with our housekeeper Mrs. Fields or Judy, as she asked me to call her. She taught me a couple of her culinary secrets. A wonderful woman!"  
"I suppose that it was Mrs. Fields who taught you to always wear an apron so as not to get dirty."  
A mess in his own thoughts and feelings was really tedious. He would like to just forget the entire past year and quietly enjoy the moment. But the stung wound in his chest stubbornly did not want to heal up. But Elio was not ready to give up. Since he couldn’t really forgive Oliver and really believe to his words, it was nice to be distracted and at least try to move in that direction. Elio slowly walked over to the man who was blushed, and without saying a word began to untie the colorful apron.  
"What are you doing?" Oliver could not help noticing the devilish smile on the boy’s face.  
"I'm planning to wish you a "good morning" - as if nothing had happened, Elio answered, while he was dragging the pants off the man slowly without breaking the eye contact. The boy’s dexterous hands have already found a use: one hand tightly squeezed Oliver’s erection in a ring while the other gently caressed his testicles.  
"But the pancakes ... damn!" - the man could not think properly.  
"I will try to do it as soon as possible" - said Elio, when he has finally looked away from his lover's eyes in order to pull the towel off his waist and throw it on the floor. The boy bit gently the lover’s earlobe, he continued the wet trace with his tongue ever lower, down Oliver`s neck until he reached the collarbone. The desire to mark and ruin this ideal body that arose out of nowhere resulted in a light but tangible bite in the hollow over the collarbone. A loud moan appeared from his lover`s mouth and dirty curses which escaped from Oliver just provoke Elio more. In one motion, he knelt and promptly took Oliver's cock in his mouth as deep as the larynx would allow. Elio began to slowly move his head: either by immersing the lover's erection deep in his mouth, then by completely releasing it; he greedily licked Oliver's cock with the flat side of his tongue and caressed the head of the cock with a brisk tongue`s tip.  
"Fuck me!" - in a hoarse voice said Elio, he got distracted from his fascinating occupation.  
Oliver bent down, he was planning to help the boy to get up, but Elio just leaned back more and stopped a man with his arm pressed to his stomach: _"I want you to fuck me in the mouth"._  
"God, Elio!" - A man did not expect such pressure and vulgarity, he barely found the strength to stand on his feet. Oliver leaned on the edge of the working surface of the kitchen with the right hand and the other hand instantly took the curls of the boy. The man saw Elio opened his mouth even wider, relaxing his throat and allowing Oliver's cock to sink even deeper. He gently pulled the boy's hair with his hand, causing a slight moan that vibrated along the entire length of the man’s cock. Oliver was gently moving his hips, he slowly pushed into the warmth of his lover’s mouth, desperately trying to control his movements and not hurt him. The waves of pleasure forced him to increase the speed and amplitude of frictions. Completely arrogant, full of lust eyes were looking at a man from under long eyelashes and it seemed to bring even more pleasure than his own frictions. For a second, Oliver pulled out his cock from Elio's captivity, in order to hold the tip of the head on the lips of his lover, enjoying every second of the action. Then he pulled it all the way in, while he was holding Elio's head. Oliver began to rhythmically move his hips, plunging into the greedy mouth again and again deeper and deeper. The strained muscles of Oliver's legs and abdomen silently testified to the inevitably rapidly approaching finale. The boy felt his lover's state, but he did not move away and seemed to give even more pleasure to Oliver. A second later, a hot jet of sperm rushed down Elio's throat while he was watching, fascinated as his lover was shaking in the ecstasy of orgasm. Oliver groaned, he was holding tight to the single point of support behind him; his legs trembled. His hand was squeezing the lover's hair, Oliver firmly fixed Elio's head so that he did not even think to move. Elio obediently stayed in place, he swallowed every last drop, when Oliver finally stopped shaking. The man regained his senses, he leaned sharply and squeezed Elio tightly and lifted him, pulled him to himself and bit his lips into Elio's lips with a greedy kiss. The boy was sure that his lover could still feel his own taste in his mouth, which he liked (judging by the kiss).  
"It seems that I am full of food," said a breathless Elio with a malicious smirk.  
"Damn, Elio, that was ..."  
"Terrific? Sumptuously? A worthy reward?"  
"Yes, yes, and yes again! What was that for?"  
"I decided to warm up a little before the main meal," Elio whispered between tender kisses. "I should have paid you back for the last night. I really liked it and it was very good. Now you are satisfied. Everything is fair ... Especially since you baked the pancakes with a jam. My favorite!"  
"I am ready to bake it every day if such an award awaits for me".  
"Well, I think I’ll have time to try a few more of your culinary masterpieces before Aunt May’s return in a few more days".  
"How about lasagna tonight? Mmmm? Can I come in the evening?"  
The prospect of another hot evening with Oliver interested Elio, but the hurt hole in his chest decided to do otherwise.  
"I want to meet with a friend today if you do not mind. I were missing for a few days, and now I want to see them" - Elio meant Derek as "a friend" of course. Elio wanted to go on date with another man. No one knows where the desire to hurt Oliver came from but it was everything that he could think about.  
"Of course. Of course, you should meet with your friends. So see you tomorrow?"  
"Yes, I think tomorrow is great".  
"Well, what about the pancakes with a jam?"  
"Can't wait!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All your thoughts and comments are much appreciated!


	15. We all come from childhood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to text me (in comments or in insta "lenadavinci") if you find mistakes. Thank you for your understanding and support.

The day began with a terrific blowjob and it just could not be more amazing. Oliver arrived in a completely wonderful mood, he flew into the door of his office while he was singing "Love my way" on the half of the campus. Their moments of intimacy with Elio did not leave his mind. Obviously, the chants did not go unnoticed, as Debs burst in after him; she smiled from ear to ear and looked at her boss with a look _"I can see right through you"_.

"So, so, so... Is someone in a good mood?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" - Joyful Oliver picked up Debs at the waist and began to dance with her around the room while he was singing.

"God, Oliver, I have never seen you so happy! Apparently, my advice about the gift was very useful" - Debs said, barely catching her breath.

"What? A gift, yes, yes! I forgot about it completely".

"No wonder. Well, I suppose everything went well. Did you fix your relationship up?"

"There is still a lot of work ahead, but the first stage has definitely been overcome quite successfully".

"I demand the details!"

"Do you really want to know what exactly made me so happy today?"

"Well, you said it, and I somehow immediately realized that, probably, I should not ask you about "all the details". I'm afraid my heart won't stand it. What's next?"

"What's next? No idea, Debs. Damn, I somehow got so carried away by everything that had happened that I fell a bit out of reality. Obviously, we will have to keep everything that has happened in secret at least until the end of the semester. This is lousy".

"Um ... Oliver, I don't want to let down you from heaven to earth, but ... your mother ..."

"God, Debs ... mom! Heck! God, did she call again?"

"Yes, a hundred times already. And I already ran out of excuses for you. So, I pray to call her! Solve this question and I will help you with the rest. Have you already thought, for example, to call him on a date? Surely he is also very upset that you will have to hide, but New York is a big city, you can easily find a place to spend a romantic evening".

"Debora Ann Morgan, where did you get such knowledge in the field of building romantic relationships? Do I know you?"

"You don't know anything about me, Oliver. In general, I will give you a hint - just imagine yourself in Elio`s place. What would you feel and what would you like?"

"Debbie, you're the real gift from heaven. And I'm already calling my mother. Therefore, lock the door and do not let anyone. Perhaps I will not go out alive".

As soon as Debs closed the door behind her the hooters at the other end of the line ceased, and the "Hello" rang out.

"Mom, hello. This is Oliver".

"Finally, you bothered to call me! Son, this is unacceptable behavior! Why I cannot contact you?  Why do you not consider it necessary to call me back?"

"Mom, I'm sorry, just a huge amount of work has come down ... and ..."

"I am not interested in your excuses, son. We are waiting for you for a very serious conversation!"

"Mom, let's not ... this is not what I would like to discuss".

"No, we will, Oliver! How did you manage to spoil all the work that we did for so long with your father? Do you know that after what had happened, Katherine's parents refused to cooperate with us? Your father and I are very disappointed with you! We have been planning your union since your childhood. What suddenly went wrong, Oliver? You two are just a wonderful couple! I talked to Katherine, and she seemed confused. She is terribly upset, but you managed to influence her badly because she sharply negatively responded about my proposal for you both to come together again ..."

"WHAT?! Mama? What the hell? You should not interfere with someone else's personal life!"

"What nonsense are you talking about? And don't you dare to raise your voice on me!"

"No, mom, what nonsense are YOU talking about?! Katherine and I broke up, but it seems she is smart enough to realize that this was the right decision because we were not happy together, we did not love each other".

"My boy, love is nonsense. Power and money rule the world. I knew that this work of yours and all the philosophical books would not lead to anything good. You just took all of our efforts and threw them in the trash. Happiness and love are not the same things, my dear".

"Mom ... I knew that you are not the most ... uh ... a romantic person, but to hear that from you...was too much. But, what about dad?"

"We are with your father in a contractual marriage. And this is really a happy marriage, son. Together we have built successful careers, we have our own business. There are you and your sister. Praise the heavens, even though she can adequately continue the family business".

"God, I'm not sure I wanted to hear that".

"This is all the tricks of your grandmother and our housekeeper. They constantly chatted about love, so you took it as a truth! You should know, Oliver, that because of your antics with Katherine, we lost a very decent amount of money. And this is entirely your fault. I am terribly angry at you and upset about it".

"Me too, mom. I am extremely angry and upset that I could not justify your and dad`s expectations that I could not shove my own opinion and happiness in my ass and quietly rejoice in the swamp in which I lived. And I am very upset that I didn’t want to talk to you because, in part, I understood what this conversation would take. And I'm very angry, Mom, that _"a very decent amount of money"_ is more important to you than the happiness of your own son!" - Oliver hung up the phone with a force, without waiting for an answer.

* * *

 

 

A good mood, naturally, was gone. Oliver had no illusions about his family and their relationship to him for a long time, but this conversation crossed all possible boundaries in his head. Last summer in Italy, in particular, acquaintance with Elio's parents had an effect on Oliver more than predictably. Family idyll, in which there was a place for self-expression, creativity, personal opinion, and most importantly, complete mutual understanding and support in everything is unattainable for the mind of the young professor. From early childhood, Oliver was surrounded by all the possible benefits of civilization, except, perhaps, pieces of parental care. He and his sister grew up under the supervision of numerous nannies, who were specially changed frequently so that the children would not have time to become attached. Constant close people were only the father’s grandmother and the housekeeper. Alice - Oliver's sister grew up a real gift for her parents. Always “excellent” in all subjects at school, then college with honors, work in the paternal branch, a quick wedding with the son of old family friends and company partners, twins born in an instant ... Oliver felt that he did not reach his sister from the very childhood, however, he did not want to be as she at all.

Studying at school brought joy only because it was a great opportunity to get out of the house. And when the time came to choose a future specialization - Oliver, without thinking for a second, chose philosophy. Perhaps his mother was right, and the long evening gatherings with his grandmother and Judy were not left out. Women were friends and did not miss a single opportunity to stay with a gifted boy. While still a child, Oliver showed a keen interest in the structure of the world. But when he voiced his decision to his parents, the scandal that broke out at home had to be the last straw. Parents threatened to deprive him of financial support, kick him out of the house, deprive him of his inheritance, but Oliver remained adamant. He was working hard in the last couple of years of high school. Oliver gained a good reputation from teachers and received a scholarship support from Columbia University. Studying in Colombia marked a new stage in the life of a man. He moved to the hostel, got a job as a courier, and spent all his free time behind the books. Parents, however, came to terms with the choice of the profession of their son since at the annual dinner in honor of Thanksgiving; the company’s partners expressed admiration for the chosen path. Shortly after his admission, Oliver began dating Katherine, a childhood friend who Oliver knew almost from birth. At one of these dinners with the family, she attracted Oliver's attention, as it seemed that she was the only one at the table really listened to what he said about Heraclitus. And parents on both sides, who barely noticed mutual interest, quickly arranged a date for their children. Young people very quickly found a common language, but they could not build a stable relationship. Katherine often accused Oliver of inattention to her because Oliver spent much of his college life completely absorbed in studies. Everything was changed by a possible internship with a professor at a villa in Italy. By applying, Oliver did not expect to get approval. Therefore, when Professor Perlman himself called one day on a sunny morning and announced that he was lucky enough to be given a place in practice this year, Oliver was too happy, he was not remembering himself from happiness. He swore to himself that this should change his life forever. He could not have imagined that his oath was destined to be fulfilled in this way.

Acquaintance with Elio turned his world upside down. Oliver could not even imagine what he was capable of such kinds of fillings. Especially in relation to a man, even more likely to a very young man. Elio's frank interest, which it was impossible not to notice, was frightening and fascinating at the same time. Oliver realized one fine day, how much he wanted to be with this brave young man. He tried to stay calm for long and drove these thoughts away. It is quite easy to underestimate the extent of our parents' influence on us. And it was unlikely that Oliver realized that the desire to be "good" grew out of the fertile soil of the education of his parents. How much we would not try to pretend that we are not necessarily someone else's approval, but the subconscious desire to be the best for our family, sometimes grows out from us insensitive bastards. The romantic onslaught of Elio, however, rather quickly crushed the wall of Oliver’s inaccessibility. This bright, talented, courageous young man dug out the many things that led the man to where he was this morning. Without much difficulty, this cheeky boy found something that, as Oliver himself seemed, was never in him - the desire to be happy.

Fascinated by his thoughts, Oliver did not notice how it was time to go in class. He never had time to check the works of Elio`s group, which had never happened to him before. Fortunately, this case could be postponed without consequences for the course. He rinsed his face with cold water and took a couple of sips of whiskey. The young professor in full combat readiness went into the room full of his students. 

* * *

 

 

Elio enthusiastically talked with the very sporting handsome boy, with whom he met in the first lesson. Alan was far from stupid young men, who very few people took seriously because of the "self-speaking cover". The guys exchanged views on the past seminar on history, in which they also sat down together.

Everyone fell silent as soon as the teacher entered the audience. Oliver walked silently to the center of the room and left a briefcase with papers on the table. He turned to the audience and endured a dramatic theatrical pause. The man finally turned to the topic of the lecture. He looked tired and upset - in a word, not in the way the young man left him this morning before the university. The voice of the professor was much quieter than usual, and the last rows barely captured the essence of the lecture.

"Something had happened!"

"What?" - Alan responded.

"Did I say it out loud?" - Elio answered.

"Are you talking about Professor ****? Yes, he looks not like usual".

"Something had happened. Something bad. He is so upset".

"Do you know him?"

"No, no ... well, he just looks like a person who has something bad happened" - Elio mentally promised himself to control over his own thoughts, which, as it turned out, he calmly voiced to his neighbor.

"Yes, maybe he is sick or something. It is our benefit! Maybe he will give us less work"  - here Elio wanted to slam Alan on the forehead.

Finally, Oliver met his eyes with a worried boy. The chill that ran down Elio’s back left him in no doubt. His own morning thoughts now seemed to him so vile. And how could he have thought about hurting Oliver intentionally? Someone or something did it for him. The man looked depressed, and Elio could hardly recall a moment when he could see him like this. The boy madly wanted to get up, come close to Oliver and hug him so tightly that he wouldn’t have the thought to be so sad anymore. The bleeding wound in the chest area seemed to have increased in size even more because all the pain that came from Oliver was added to it. Elio wanted to hug, to warm him up, to squeeze insanely strong, to protect and never let anyone hurt him! To hide from everything and from everyone, to care, to love ...

_Love him..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All your thoughts and comments are much appreciated!


	16. And where does it come from?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to text me (in comments or in insta "lenadavinci") if you find mistakes. Thank you for your understanding and support.  
> I am glad to inform you that I have found a teacher in English, which means that my next story will be much better than this one. At least I really hope so!

 

The lectures for today were finally over and Elio hurried to Oliver's office to find out, what was wrong. He forgot about his own morning thoughts. All that worried he at the moment was Oliver. His lover was so broken and depressed and it was a real shock for the boy. Elio wanted to give himself a slap for a cold communication with his beloved.

Elio run a couple of flights of stairs and several corridors with classrooms quickly and stumbled upon a large wooden door with the cherished inscription “Professor ****. Department of Philosophy”. He knocked on the door quickly and loudly.

"It is open, come in" - was the voice behind the door.

The boy, who managed to get a little nervous, timidly opened the door. There was dark inside the office. Densely closed curtains did not give a chance for a ray of light to squeeze inside. The only source of light was a dim desk lamp. Oliver was sitting in an armchair with his head tilted on his hands folded on the table and did not even look up at the person who had entered.

"Oliver ..." the boy called timidly. The man looked up sharply and stared at the boy in astonishment.

"Elio, what? What are you doing here? Did something happen? Do you feel bad? Do you need some help?" - There was no end to the questions that fell from the lips of his beloved.

"No no. I'm alright. I was worried about you. You looked terribly depressed at the lecture today, I thought something had happened". - Elio said.

"Were you worried about me?" - It seems that Oliver did not believe in his own findings.

"Of course ... So, are you all right? Since, in my opinion, it is obvious that no. Why are you sitting here alone in the dark?"

"My head is aching and the bright light makes the situation only worse. I decided to rest a bit while waiting for the saving action of painkiller”. - Elio went further into the office and closed the door behind him.

"You were so quiet and sad at the lecture because of a headache? It seems to me that you are not telling me all the truth".

"Elio ... I do not want to load you with my problems. You absolutely do not need it now. Your task is to deal with your health and ..."

"Oliver, stop! We seemed to have decided to try to be together. And, as I can see it, people in a relationship share their problems with each other. So, can you tell me what the matter is? Or will you continue to hide everything from me, which, as we know, does not end well?"

"I`m sorry, you're right. Of course, you are right. I`m sorry!"

Elio lowered the bag with textbooks on the chair next to him and then he sat down on the edge of the table, looking attentively at the man with his summoning gaze.

"In fact, I do not know where to start ..."

"At first, is it my fault? Did I upset you somehow? It seemed to me that we had a great morning".

"Elio, no, by no means. The morning was awesome. The most wonderful morning of all over the past year. This is ... my mom" - Oliver stopped and looked down.

"Your mother?"

"Yes. We talked on the phone and, to put it mildly, the conversation did not set. I never told you that I was jealous of relationships in your family. Our family is not like that at all. And today's conversation once again showed me how far my family is from the version I would like to have. My mom is a complicated person. And she humiliated me and my life decisions pretty hard. I was already used to the fact that she was always dissatisfied with my work, my housing, my hobbies, but she went farther and affected my personal life. It would be more accurate to say - she intervened without demand. She tried to make money...  And that`s all… I do not understand how she could do this with her own son. I was putting off this conversation as much as I could, but now it had happened, and that's why I`m upset. In addition to this, I cannot just openly come and kiss you when I want. Otherwise, I will lose you and my work".

Elio slowly got up from the edge of the table, walked around it, turned Oliver's chair to him and sat on his lover`s knees, legs spread apart and firmly embraced the man, leaning his cheek against his ear.

"I'm sorry. Can I help you in some way?" - Whispered Elio, he was still tightly hugging a man.

"You already did it. You came to me and listened to all this" - Oliver replied, he opened his arms slightly to look at the boy.

A warmth feeling was wandering inside Elio again and filled his chest. The most important words burst from his tongue.

"Oliver, I ... I ..." The words became a lump in his throat. For a second, Elio thought he would suffocate, his whole body squeezed, and it was impossible to utter a word. The huge black hole in his chest made it impossible to speak. Maybe because it understood that as soon as these words were spoken, the countdown of the days of its existence would begin. Oliver looked uneasily at Elio, he noticed the boy's confusion. The man ran his fingers along the cheek of his lover until he reached naughty curls of the boy.

"I want to kiss you" - the boy said finally, he exhaled the accumulated tension but did not allow the warmth in his chest to heal the wound.

Elio's lips trembled, his chest heaved higher and higher when Oliver`s hand that was in his hair pushed the boy's head forward towards the man's lips. The heat was increasing noticeably as their faces approached each other. Until finally, it transformed into the full and absolute delight that swept Elio's body and mind when his lips touched Oliver’s open mouth. The boy moved slowly, he was enjoying every microscopic movement and gradually deepening the kiss. Finally, it was the turn of the young professor to moan in a kiss. A loud moan of pleasure escaped Oliver`s mouth and it launched an indescribably violent reaction in the body of a teenager. Elio felt goosebumps all over his body. He felt Oliver’s secondhand squeezed his waist tightly. The boy’s cock had already become interested in what was happening - it became hard in a matter of seconds. There was an unpleasant tension in tight pants. Oliver was still moaning in a kiss, he slightly curled his fingers in his lover’s hair and pulled it only to eagerly dig into Elio`s neck with his lips. Elio could not withstand the strain and began to move his hips in an attempt to provide at least some friction for his cock. The fingers of his hands slid over the shoulders of his lover squeezing it tighter. The lovers enthralled by each other were both moving and exhaling loudly to the whole office. Until voices could be heard outside the door... that made the men stop their frictions and try to put themselves in order in a panic. Fortunately, the voices quickly subsided and the lovers were left alone again.

Elio approached the door and turned the protruding key in the lock, locking the office. A couple of steps away from the door to the table the boy stopped at the lover's chair, he was pulling off his shirt, sneakers, tight trousers and linen quickly. The man did not utter a word while he was admiring his beloved's improvised striptease. He was already reaching for the buttons on his shirt, as Elio again as quickly as a few minutes ago deftly settled on his lap. In one motion he unbuttoned Oliver`s trousers. The boy groped for the coveted erection and placed it in between his buttocks. Elio was continuing the rhythmic movements which caused moans of pleasure from the mouth of Oliver. Elio was brought up to the limit, he was finally bold enough with all his movements, and he was proving who the leader was today. He began to suck on his own fingers, then quickly and in one movement he inserted two fingers at once into his tight hole never interrupting eye contact. Elio shouted out the name of his lover in time with the movements of his own hand.

"Oliver! Oliver! Oliver!" - He whispered like spellbound while he was stretching the tight walls of his hole as wide as possible. The man watched in fascination with his lover.  He was keeping his composure out of his last strength.

Elio was satisfied with his actions, but suddenly stopped and took out his fingers from his hole that was ready for contact. He raised his hand to his lips again and wetted his brush with saliva then wrapped it around Oliver's cock. Elio slightly raised himself from Oliver's knees and began to slowly sit down on his lover`s cock. He was holding Oliver`s hard erection with a hand for better access. Each centimeter was being passed with a loud moan of pleasure. When Oliver's dick was completely inside the boy, he moved his body weight to his knees, and slowly moved his hips. The man seemed unable to take his eyes off the show in front of him. He was breathing heavily while he was watching his lover moved faster and harder. Elio`s curls were falling on his face, covering his eyes, then folding back, exposing the ecstasy in his figure. His slightly open mouth and a brisk pink tongue flashed every now and then and his extremely excited cock rubbed on Oliver`s shirt. The rhythm of Elio’s movements became increasingly ragged and his breathing was intermittently short. He grasped Oliver’s neck with one free hand when the second hand squeezed his own cock ready for orgasm. The man moaned in reply and squeezed his fingers at Elio's waist so tightly that the appearance of marks was inevitable. Oliver's body was shuddering in orgasm. Elio saw his man in all his orgasmic beauty: his open mouth and a loud growl; his chest, filled with tension, his neck, tightly pressed by the hand; his cock was stretching taut walls of the boy`s hole to the limit; the feeling of complete control and domination... All this brought down on Elio an orgasm of such strength that the sperm was splashing on the man’s shirt and did not want to end. And the convulsions of the cherished discharge shook the whole body of the boy from fingertips to hair ends.

When breathing returned to normal and the body stopped shaking, Elio realized that he was still squeezing Oliver’s throat and the man was staring at him. Without thinking of loosening his grip, the boy moved closer to his lover’s face and again sank a kiss into his quivering lips.

 

* * *

 

 

The lovers were kissing languidly until Elio felt how the result of crazy sex flowed from him and soiled his lover`s last pants.

"How will I go to the department meeting today?" - grinned Oliver, he found himself smeared with sperm literally everywhere. Elio, meanwhile, was already dressing with a completely happy face.

"Tell them that you bought an expired yogurt and it had been exploded in your hands. I do not think that anyone will risk checking your story".

"You are a teaser, Elio Perlman!" - a satisfied grin did not leave the man’s face. - "I wanted to ask, do you want to go on a date with me?"

"On a date?" - the boy even ceased to pull the sock, he was trying to understand if he had not misheard.

"Yes. A date. With a movie, a restaurant and all that? Although I think I can come up with a more interesting program".

"Are you serious? Is it possible for us?"

"I think yes if we`ll be careful. I really want to spend an amazing evening with you. So… What will you say?"

"I will say that I fully support this idea and gladly go with you on a date!" - Elio smiled from ear to ear.

"Then how about Saturday? At 7 pm? I will come for you ... or can we meet on neutral territory?"

"Aunt May should be back next Monday, so you can come and pick me".

"A date. We will have a date!" - The smile on Oliver's face was so cute that Elio could not stand it and turned back to his lover in search of a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All your comments are much appreciated!


	17. Step forward, two steps back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to text me (in comments or in insta "lenadavinci") if you find mistakes. Thank you for your understanding and support.

Elio spent the next two days being absorbed in his studies. He plunged into textbooks, burying himself in a pile of history books. The boy firmly determined to catch up all the lectures he had missed. It was Friday evening, and Elio was already finishing his essay when a loud phone call rang in the apartment.

"Hello" - Elio hurried to answer by picking up the phone in the living room.

"Elio, hello! How do you?" - Derek's cheerful voice did not remain unrecognized.

"Derek, I'm so glad you called! I'm ... fine ... well, more or less. Got to the hospital, but now everything is fine".

"In the hospital? God, is everything okay? I mean, is it something serious with you?"

"No, no, don't worry. Just overworked and that`s all. I'm much better now".

"I knew that these your bleedings are no accident! Damn, I had to take you to the doctor by force ... Then maybe it wouldn't have happened. Stop! Are you coping with this all alone?"

"You don`t have to worry. My old ... uh ... the acquaintance who was with me when I got in the hospital helped me a lot. I'm in good hands, and, really, now, everything is great! How do you?"

"I'm fine. I`m finishing my shift in half an hour. So I thought... Since we are friends now, it would not hurt us to drink coffee together in a friendly way. And we can walk through the park. I, however, offer it purely from simple good intentions. And I really miss you. I have no plans for today and I don`t want to sit out the evening at home in the company of the TV".

"I can understand you perfectly. I haven't gone for a walk for ages. So much has happened ... Illness, now a lot of studies... Let me run to you, and we will carry out your plan!"

"You should consider what your favorite coffee has already been made. And I`ll steal a croissant with almonds for you!"

"Ahhhhh! Do not tease me! Already run out!"

"See you!"

"See you!"

Elio quickly got up from the couch and without bothering to clean up the textbooks rushed into the shower. Despite the fact that the upcoming meeting with Derek was not a romantic date, but simply a friendly walk, the boy found it necessary to come in the proper form. While warm streams of water were flowing through his body, Elio suddenly wondered if he should call Oliver and ... What ..? To ask for permission? To report where and with whom is he going to go? Is it how everybody does it in relationships? And they intended to build a real relationship. But Elio knew for sure that today his beloved had another convocation at the Department of Philosophy and that the meeting simply should not be expected.  Deciding to himself that such calls would only distract Oliver from work, pleased with self-deception, Elio got out of the shower and ran to get ready. The upcoming meeting with Derek very pleased him. Elio really had time to feel sympathy for the guy, and, although they didn’t have a romantic relationship, it didn’t mean that they couldn`t be friends. Encouraged by meeting with a friend (and even more communicating with at least someone other than his classmates and Oliver, who obviously tried very hard and constantly looked terribly tensed, since he definitely tried not to utter an extra word and not to hurt the boy’s feelings) Elio gathered in seconds and joyfully headed for the coffee shop.

* * *

 

 

"What a lucky coincidence, don't you think?"

"Yes, the reason, of course, is terrible, but I am so glad that the meeting is canceled! I don’t want to sit at a table on Friday night with a bunch of sad professors and to talk about schedules and upcoming exams" - Oliver and his colleague, Sam, were returning from the main university building after they were told that the dean was sick. Which meant the meeting was canceled.

"Do you want to drink a beer?" Sam asked with a grin.

"No, I'm sorry, I `m trying to slow down a little with the alcohol. And, I think that I will find a more interesting activity". Oliver had already clearly seen how Elio would be surprised by an unexpected visit.

"As you want. If you change your mind, we`ll be in the Irish Pub on 5th Avenue".

"Ok. See you soon, Sam!"

Joyful Oliver instantly reached the office, where he hurried to collect his belongings and rushed to his beloved. He felt himself on the cloud nine, Oliver was so happy! Because it seemed their relationship with Elio had begun to improve. Their last meeting, which ended in absolutely crazy sex in his office, inspired the young professor. Elio himself came to him, concerned and agitated by his state and mood. The boy noticed that something was wrong with him, and hurried to help. The ice was clearly broken! Moreover, Elio seemed very glad to have a romantic evening together. Forgetting everything except the joyful face of his lover, Oliver walked confidently to Elio’s apartment by the usual route. While Oliver was patiently waiting for the allowing signal of the traffic light, he was filled with such warm feelings that he definitely looked like an idiot. The man caught himself thinking that immensely wants to do something nice Elio. It was possible to go back to the music store and choose a couple of records. Or he could drop into the flower shop on the way (everybody like the flowers). Or he could go to the coffee shop and grabbed a couple of delicious desserts and coffee for Elio. He stopped on the last version and turned around the corner of the street to run into his favorite cafe.

Oliver had almost reached his destination, as he was stopped by a completely unexpected picture: Elio and his very nasty friend were leaving the cafe together. They were holding cups of coffee with them and talked about something with laughter. The guys were fascinated by the conversation, and they didn’t notice the man, who was frozen a few meters away from them. The rapid events of the last few days completely crowded out of Oliver’s mind the memories that, in fact, Elio had introduced him to his boyfriend. Everything that had happened between him and Elio in recent days left no reason even for a second to thought about the fact that the boy still maintained relations with the bartender. So all this time Elio was fooling him? Did he date with Derek? Did he sleep with him? "No no no! It just cannot be! Oh my God, I went to work, and he called him. They laughed at me together, they had fun, and they probably fucked on that damn sofa! Elio told about his love... he whispered soft words in Derek`s ear... he was spreading his legs wide apart... he went groaning when Derek was fucking him... What did I hope for? He is a young, handsome guy. Why does he need such nothingness like me? Especially when we cannot even go to the cinema without a conspiracy. Why should he hide? Why deprive him of the joys of youth and student life? He never thought to forgive me. He never really wanted to try to be together. Maybe he just felt sorry for me? Or did he want to hurt me?" - the stream of consciousness in Oliver’s head swept away everything in its path, while the man’s body stood like a statue right in the middle of the sidewalk.

Oliver continued to stand and watch as two laughing teenagers walked off in the opposite direction. The realization that he had just seen, at last, began to slowly overtake him. Chest pain, stabbing with a slight injection, as soon as a man noticed the guys, grew to the size of the universe. He suddenly felt tears streaming down his cheeks. When did they appear? It took only a couple of seconds! Oliver finally tore his eyes away from Elio and Derek moving farther and farther down the street, he lowered his head and walked in the opposite direction.

After about fifteen minutes, the man found himself on the doorstep of an Irish pub on 5th Avenue, in which he often hung out with Sam after classes. The legs themselves led him there. Oliver knew exactly what would help him. Only a glass of strong whiskey could somehow calm the grief that was raging inside the man. Oliver wiped his face with a handkerchief, took a deep breath and entered the bar, full of confidence that he would not have to go out of it - he would be taken out. 

* * *

 

 

Central Park was already at the mercy of autumn and attracted numerous visitors - lovers to gaze at the colorful leaves of the trees. Derek and Elio strolled slowly along a narrow path, drinking coffee and talking about nothing.

"Elio, listen, this is not my business, and you cannot respond if you don`t want, but I am not blind, and I see how much you are disturbed, even though you try to hide everything. All this commotion with a bad state of health and hospital, is it somehow connected with the man with whom you introduced me then after our first and only night?"

"Is it so obvious?" - Elio did not even try to hide that Derek's hunch hit right on target.

"I'm not the best bartender, but a very good observer. If you could see yourself at that moment... I think that even a blind person would notice the chemistry between you and the tension, which spread in waves for many miles around. So what's the story? Who is he?"

"The story of a lifetime. I do not think you want to listen to it".

"I want to be a good friend and you need to share such life-long stories with friends. In addition, my coffee has not over yet and there is a long path ahead, so..." - Elio wanted to protest again, but in his heart, he understood that he needed friendly advice like never before in his life. And in the whole world, there was not a single person who knew his story with Oliver from the beginning to the very end. Gathering his strength, Elio sighed deeply and heavily and slowly told Derek everything.

* * *

 

 

The sun had already set for a long time ago, it was dark and rather cool outside, and Elio and Derek were silently sitting on a bench by the lake. The boy had just finished his long story and Derek never said a word. Elio grimly gutted a glass from under coffee and he was tormented in indecision to somehow break the silence.

"Will you say something?" - Elio's patience came to an end.

"I just don't know what to say, Elio. I sit here and do not understand why you are still here? Why aren't you with him? A door wide open before you, beyond which there is absolute happiness, and you stubbornly don’t want to go there. The man whom you obviously madly in love desperately crave to share life with you, and you resist. I just can't understand it" - it seemed that Derek could cry.

"I am afraid! I am afraid that he will leave me again; he will leave me like at that damned station. He will get on the train and will not return. I will not be able to survive this the second time. How can I trust him after this?"

"Nohow! In this world, you cannot even trust yourself, what to say about the others? But this risk is worth the game! Yes, maybe he will hurt you; I would even say that it is almost guaranteed because people constantly hurt each other. Especially in a relationship. But to live in fear and do not give yourself the freedom to love... This is torture! Let him go again, let him go a thousand times and come back, but if there is at least a ghostly possibility that you will be happy, then put everything on the line! Your heart and soul! All that you have. This life has no meaning without love, Elio. And your love is Oliver. So let the whole world go to hell! Run to him, fall into his arms and do not let go, while there is still time!"

"But I ..." the boy lowered his eyes.

"Elio, look at me!" - Derek moved closer and with his index finger raised his friend's face by the chin - "Tell me honestly about your feelings! If you are so afraid to admit to yourself... How do you feel about Oliver"

The huge black hole in his chest was again reappeared, clutching his heart in a vice. His throat was dry, his head buzzed, and Elio tried his best to hold back the tears.

"I…"

His heart pounded wildly, desperately trying to get out of the shackles of the all-consuming black hole of pain.

"I…"

"Elio ..." Derek sat still, not taking sad eyes from Elio. The bartender saw Elio tearing from fear and indecision, and how he wanted to free himself by shouting his feelings out loud.

 **"I love him!"** \- Recognition broke out of the mouth of Elio along with a stream of tears.

Derek hugged his friend tightly, letting his tears soak his shirt. The boy was crying, clinging tightly to the friendly shoulder of the bartender.

"Everything will be alright, do you hear me? Hey, everything will be alright!" - Derek gently stroked Elio on the head. When, finally, he calmed down a bit, the bartender gently pulled away and looked at Elio’s face, flushed from tears. He smiled shyly in response.

"Is it better?" Derek asked.

"I can`t even explain how much... Thank you".

"I did nothing, Elio. These are your feelings that were just locked up. Now, go to him!"

"I am going to him! And I will tell him everything!" - answered Elio, for the first time smiling from a pure heart, which, at last, could begin to tighten his wounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All your comments are much appreciated!


	18. Swap places

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to text me (in comments or in insta "lenadavinci") if you find mistakes. Thank you for your understanding and support.

Elio was inspired by the realization of his own feelings; he got to the house in no time. As soon as he crossed the threshold of Aunt May's apartment, he suddenly realized that he had no plan of action. He was so happy and so scared at the same time that he didn’t think at all, what should he actually do? The boy had neither the address of Oliver nor his phone number ... He could only wait. Wait until the man himself comes to him, as he promised. Elio decided not to waste time and started a large-scale cleaning. In addition, it was vital to him to do something; otherwise, he would have been torn by impatience. While he was rushing from room to room, collecting scattered things, his mind was trying to digest what had happened. Elio understood perfectly well that he was still in pain, the nagging black hole in his chest was far from complete healing, but somewhere at the very bottom of this hole, his heart was beating again. He could not wait to say _those three words_ to Oliver. As soon as he says it, as soon as he speaks out loud for _HIM_ , then they can truly start over. Perhaps, then his dreams will become reality ... Even if not, they will get a chance. And now Elio understood that Derek was right. Even a tiny chance deserves all the possible suffering.

Elio did not notice how several hours had passed. The apartment shone with pristine purity, the clock was already subtly hinting at the time for sleeping, and there was no news from Oliver. The boy began to worry seriously. What could happen? Maybe they were detained at work, and Oliver had to stay at the university longer than usual, but never before 12 at night. Injected, Elio could no longer concentrate on anything, but his own frightening thoughts, the central theme of which was the wounded Oliver, lying somewhere in the doorway. The boy never felt so helpless in all his life.  Elio felt the panic attack was beginning to approach him again. It had to be prevented. He didn't want to get to the hospital again. He instantly reached the bedroom, where there were medications for him on the bedside table — quite strong soothing ones. Elio drank two pills instead of one in the hope that such a dose would be enough to maintain a good sleep. He still needed to recover completely. A few minutes later, the boy was in a deep sleep.

 

The awakening was given to Elio with difficulty. Apparently, one pill was more than enough. Elio barely dragged his feet on the way to the university. He wanted to skip the next lesson so badly, but he could not afford it. Moreover, today two lectures on history were planned, and then Oliver’s philosophy was the last lesson. The day promised to be infinitely long and difficult.

Elio was good at history. He memorized dates and names well and quickly adapted to his professors. It was only the beginning of the school year, but he had already earned a good reputation for himself. He often acted as the initiator of heated debates at lectures, always presented written homework on time and behaved exceptionally well. Therefore, the first two pairs passed unnoticed and easily. He was immersed in his work, which helped the boy to wake up completely. By the beginning of the third lesson, Elio was already full of strength and counted the minutes before meeting with Oliver. Much to the young man’s surprise, instead of Oliver, a young girl entered the audience and announced in a ringing voice that the professor was sick, and instead another teacher would teach the lesson, which she presented to the agitated audience. Elio wondered what could have happened to his beloved. He simply could not stay where he was, so he left the lecture, citing poor health. The boy literally ran to the office of Oliver, he was hoping that he would be able to get inside and find Oliver`s home address, or at least the telephone number. It was vital for him to make sure that everything was fine.

"Hey, kid, what are you doing here?" - A woman's voice echoed behind Elio made the boy's heart dive into his heels. He had just been caught trying to break into the teacher’s study lock. As he was slowly turning to the speaker, he was already sawing the picture of his exception in his head.

"Nothing. I ... I just dropped something here and ..." - Elio desperately tried to come up with at least some plausible explanation for his actions.

"It seems to me that you are trying to open the lock in the door of the teacher of the Department of philosophy. What have you got there? Test? Essay? Speak! Until I called the guards and they didn’t throw you out of here!"

"No, no ... God,  ... I do not know how to explain ... I just need to see Professor ****!"

"What for?" - the girl looked at him point-blank. Elio thought she smirked a little.

"I ... it's personal!"

"It seems you’re still looking for some trouble, boy".

"No, Miss, I just wanted to find out where the professor was since he promised to help me with the choice of the topic for research" - Elio understood that he was telling the nonsense, but there was nowhere to go.

"I've never heard more bullshit in my life!" - the girl no longer tried to hide a smile - "What is your name?"

"Elio. Elio Perlman, miss".

"Well, Mr. Perlman. It's nice to finally meet you" - the girl said, moving closer, she took the key from her pocket and opened the door to Oliver's office - "Come in!"

Elio stood in complete confusion. Obviously, the girl knew him, but he had no idea who she was.

"Well, Mr. Perlman, I'm Debora. You can call me Debbie. I'm Oliver's secretary. And I am so very glad to meet you personally, Elio!" - She exclaimed and rushed at the boy with hugs.

"Excuse me, miss, I ... I don’t understand ...," said Elio, completely confused.

"Debbie! No "Miss"! I'm not a hundred years old! Oliver talked a lot about you, Elio. It will be more accurate to say that Oliver told me everything, except perhaps intimate details. Ollie and I are friends, so don’t worry, I won’t betray you. God, you're handsome! My boss, it turns out, has just a great taste!" - the girl continued to happily embrace Elio, while he was coming to himself and digested her words.

"Um ... so … Do you know everything? About me and Oliver?"

"Well, only what Oliver told me, although rather what I pulled out of him with ticks. This moody stump rarely shares emotional experiences, you know. I do not know how much what he told me "everything" but, in simple terms, I know about the nature of your relationship".

"And you, do you mind?" - uncertainly mumbled Elio. Debbie already managed to become a friend for him. Such a bright, lively girl, who was also obviously a good friend to Oliver.

"I? Never! However, I can understand you. We are not friends yet. You do not know me yet, but if you knew, you would never have doubted my attitude. I love Ollie with all my heart, and he obviously loves you, so how can I be against your relationship?"

"Have you known him for a long time?"

"I have been working as secretary since graduation from college, and Oliver came to the Вepartment in his last year, such a young boy, who was fascinated by philosophy. We have been friends for several years, but become really close only last year. After his return from Italy. I did not understand what had happened to him then and he was refusing to speak. That was a hard time ... He barely reminded himself. He walked darker than a cloud, often drank, stuck at work all day, did not want to talk to anyone. I tried to help him as best I could, and he seemed to overcome it. Now I, of course, understand the reason for his behavior. And sometimes that condition returns again ... just like today ..." - Debbie dulled her eyes and fell silent.

"What do you mean? What happened?"

"This morning, he called me ... being completely drunk ... He began to talk something about some kinds of "that bartender", about betrayal, I did not understand anything, to be honest. But one word was enough for me to understand that he was dead drunk. So, I told the principal that he fell ill and quickly found a replacement for him. I wanted to go to him after work, to make sure that he did not vomit choked. But I think you will do it for me, Elio".

"Oh my God! Derek, he saw Derek ... Does he often drink?" - asked Elio with surprise.

"Since that summer, yes. I don’t know how he managed not to screw up his career, but on the contrary, even succeed, but I quite often covered his drunken back in that way. You apparently know the reason for this drunkenness".

"I guess ... and if this is what I think it is, then it is my fault".

"Listen, this is not my business and ... everything is not easy with you, but ... He really loves you very much, Elio. When you showed up here this year, I saw Oliver in another light. More recently, he literally glowed with happiness, talking about you. I don't know what went wrong with you, but I know for sure that you should be together. Otherwise, I am afraid that he himself will ruin his life and you too".

"Debbie, give me his address? I will go to him now".

"Of course. I hope that you will solve everything. I won't be able to cover Oliver for a long time".

"Thank you, Debbie. I promise you, he`ll come to work tomorrow. And he`ll thank you for saving his career".

"Oh, Elio, you should be together!" - blushing, told Debbie - "Take my key as well. I do not think that he will be able to open the door himself" - with these words, Debbie handed him a bundle of two keys and a sticker with the address.

Elio turned and was ready to run out of the office, but at the last moment he stopped, and facing Debbie, he squeezed her tightly in his arms.

"Thank you! Thanks, Debbie!"

* * *

 

 

Elio got to the address on the sticker in a record 15 minutes. Finding himself at the entrance to the entrance to a typical New York high-rise building, the boy could not stop scrolling the words of Debbie in his head. Oliver said that he had a hard time after their summer, but to hear the confirmation of his words from the mouth of another person was a real shock. So it hurt him too. Maybe he has a huge black hole in his chest too. Yes, they both did wrong. And they both had a long way to meet each other. Oliver took the first step, now was his turn.

Oliver's apartment was on the third floor, and Elio did not even attempt to knock on the door, but immediately opened the lock with his key. Twilight reigned inside. All the windows were blind, there was no light anywhere. Elio thought he was sloppy, but Oliver’s apartment before his eyes placed serious doubts in his mind about this. In the middle of the living room, there was an old sofa on which clothes lay in heaps, papers, books, and pencils. A simple kitchen set and a small refrigerator literally shouted that they were rarely used. There were not so many items of furniture in the living room, except for a sofa and a table in the corner there was a small dresser and a chest of drawers. The silence reigned a bit intimidating Elio, he began to worry that Oliver might have left. But he decided to check the rest of the rooms.

Elio walked through the living room to the bedroom, in which there was nothing but a large bed and a mirror cabinet opposite. A blanket lays in a pile on a crumpled sheet, and in the middle of the pillows, a half-empty bottle of whiskey lurked. Finally, a low moan came from the half-open bathroom. Elio immediately rushed to the door. Inside the bathroom, Oliver was in the T-shirt and boxers. He was all wet through. The immovable body could have been mistaken for a corpse, if not for the barely noticeable heaving of the cell by sighs. Elio cautiously stepped closer and sat on the edge, obviously, of Oliver’s temporary bed. He finally opened his eyes slightly moaning.

"What? Am I still sleeping?" - Oliver asked in a hoarse voice into the void.

"Hey, how are you? Let me help you get on the bed" - in a quiet soothing tone whispered Elio.

"I can handle it myself!" - with an anger in his voice said the man.

"I know that you can do it, but I think it's my turn to help you, don't you find?"

"Go to hell! I do not need your help!" - Screamed, enraged Oliver.

"You're angry, I was angry too. I understand. But you cannot cope with it alone. Today Debbie covered you, but for tomorrow her patience may not be enough, so let's bring you in a proper state, okay?" - Elio tried to speak as slowly and intelligibly as possible.

Oliver clumsily pulled himself up on his elbows and sat down lowered his head.

"I cannot look at you. You are a bloody liar. You made me feel guilty, but you ... you ... you were fucking with this disgusting bartender!" - without lifting his head, shouted Oliver.

"So, firstly, you did understand all the situation wrong. Secondly, Derek is not disgusting at all. Thirdly, we will talk about it when you come to your senses. In the meantime - you should help me drag you to the bed!" - Elio answered with an orderly tone.

"Wow, that’s an order?" - Oliver rested his hands on the edges of the bathroom and easily rose to his feet. Elio hurried to give him a hand, but the man jerked to the other side and climbed out of the bathroom, leaning on the wall. He walked slowly toward the bedroom, not noticing that Elio was quietly holding him behind his back. A little staggering, Oliver finally reached the bed on which he fell from the height of his height.

"You need to change clothes, you're all wet" - Elio slowly reached for the man's torso to pull off his T-shirt. Oliver did not resist but only silently watched how the boy was struggling to pull off his T-shirt, and then the boxers - "Well, that's better. You should rest. I'll clean up here and make coffee".

"Elio, why are you here?"

"I`m here to tell you something very important, Oliver. But I want you to hear it in your clear mind, so you should rest, please".

"If you want to say that it's all over between us and that there was nothing, so I understood the hint, you can be calm. Actions speak better than words".

"Oliver, I didn’t come for this. But I really need you to be sober. _Can you do it for me?_ "

Obviously, such a disarming request worked, and Oliver obediently wrapped himself in a blanket and turned away to the other side. After a couple of minutes, Elio heard the familiar quiet snore, meaning that the man had finally fallen asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All your comments are much appreciated!


	19. Swap places. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to text me (in comments or in insta "lenadavinci") if you find mistakes. Thank you for your understanding and support.

Elio looked at his sleeping lover and could not put his own feelings in order. So many things had happened! An incredible number of events have hit him over the past few days. Innumerable emotions raged in him! There were pain and resentment on Oliver, self-shame for attempts to use another person to forget HIM, awareness of his own helplessness and powerlessness, his own stupidity and blindness and deep gratitude to Derek ... He wanted to say so much, to do so much to correct all that mess that he managed to do. But right now, all he wanted most was to help Oliver. The man was clearly in an emotional mess. Obviously, Oliver drank a lot. Only on the bed, there were two empty bottles, and the boy was sure that if he carefully checked the entire apartment, he would find a lot of evidence of the complete collapse of his lover. One day, Elio heard from his mother the words on this subject that fell deep into his soul. He was still a child when his cousin uncle was found dead in his villa. He died from an overdose of alcohol. At that time, Elio didn’t understand how could somebody to drink so much. In Italy, it was usual to drink a glass of wine for dinner, and even give it to children. He was well acquainted with the taste of wine from a very young age. And he could not understand what was wrong with alcohol, why so many people were getting used to this drink so quickly and so much that they could not even live without it at all. Therefore, children's innocence found a way out in the most naive question: "Why do people drink, mother?" Anella thought for a moment, sat down, and replied very quietly: "Baby, there is a lot of pain in this world, and sometimes a person cannot cope with it. It seems to him that when he drinks, the pain recedes. But in fact, it only lies down, and then covers with a new force. People do not always know that they themselves have everything to cope with pain. They just need to give themselves a chance. Happy people do not drink so much, Elio." Oliver was miserable. And Elio desperately wanted to do everything possible to make his lover happy again. If the man was telling the truth, then the boy himself was the key to happiness. Perhaps it was enough just to be around. But he was not going to sit still and wait until the man wakes up. Elio decided that it was possible to start with the environment. The situation in the apartment itself drove into depression, and the best solution now seemed to him to put in order the dwelling of the beloved. Therefore, Elio neatly got out of bed, where Oliver was snoring, picked up the bottles and went to the living room to make this place a little more habitable.

* * *

 

Oliver awoke to the smell of coffee that was demanding to lift out of bed. As soon as the man opened his eyes, as the rolled memories of the last evening and the following morning fell upon him in a gloomy wave. Elio had been dating with this damn bartender all this time, he himself shamelessly got drunk so that he even could not go to work in the morning. In addition, the boy also showed up to his house (he will say a special “thanks” to Debs for this). The man got up, weakly understanding when he had time to tidy up the room. He was sure that a huge pile of clothes was lying in the closet, and there were a couple of bottles on the bed. Surely Elio did it. His heart became even lousy from this thought. Not only the boy saw him in such a lousy state, but he also cleaned up his apartment! Oliver heard the low sounds coming from the living room. So Elio was still there. Well, this was a great moment to sort things out. He went into the bathroom. Young professor was horrified by the reflection in the mirror, which hardly reminded him of his face. Oliver hastily turned on the water and climbed into the shower. Cool water brought him back to life. The man slowly washed and brushed his teeth, and already felt more like himself. The reflection was not so horrible. He had finished with simple manipulations to put himself in order, then Oliver took out sports pants and a T-shirt from the closet (in which all his belongings were neatly arranged and sorted into shelves). Gathering his courage, Oliver left the bedroom with the most confident view he was capable of. And he barely recognized his living room. This youngster rearranged the furniture, also washed the windows, and even washed the floor! He was reading, lying on the couch. Well, that was too much! Elio came to his house without an invitation after he was cheating with a stinky bartender. He cleaned up his apartment, made a coffee... and he was lying on his couch as if nothing had happened? Oliver was furious! All the weeks that he cared for him, begged for forgiveness, helped to recover, courted, gave orgasms, damn it! How could he behave so brazenly after that? Stored indignation and anger, coupled with a light hangover, teamed up and burst out with a loud cry: "What the hell are you doing here?"

Elio literally fell from the couch and stared at Oliver dumbfounded.

"What?"

"I asked you what the hell are you doing here?" - Oliver replied just as menacingly but little quieter.

"Are you saying so yours "thank you" that I came, pulled you out of the bathroom, in which you were lying, put you to bed, cleaned your apartment and made a coffee?" - Elio looked absolutely calmly, even happily, and it infuriated Oliver even more.

"Nobody asked you to do this! You can go back to your bartender and have fun with him further!"

"Can you stop speaking so awful about my only friend here?"

"As I remember, you introduced him to me as your boyfriend. And I saw you two yesterday at this damn coffeehouse. You two are looking great together, by the way!" - Oliver felt how tears are trying to appear.

"We decided to meet and talk in a friendly way. I did not have time to make friends with anyone since the moment I moved here, and Derek, in fact, is my only friend ..."

"Yes, of course, "friendly" - Oliver showed quotes in the air.

"I can not comprehend, why should I lie to you?" - Elio literally infuriated Oliver with his calmness, whereas emotions were bursting out from Oliver.

"From the fact that from the very first day you made it very clear that you do not want anything in common with me. You pointedly led this bartender in front of my nose, you shouted at me so much, I heard so many accusations, so much pain was in your words. And yes, I am guilty. I damn terribly guilty before you. But it hurts me too, Elio. I was in pain all this time too. And it hurts so badly! And when I think about you and this bartender ... About how you were together, how he hugged you, kissed you, fucked you ... God, it's too much! If you so wanted to punish me, then you did a great job! I want to hide in the darkest corner of this damn apartment and never go out. The way I did to you... I can hardly ever forgive myself! But the damn stinky bartender ... and you ... are together ?! - Oliver himself did not notice how he broke into a scream. He began to shake, and his hands involuntarily clenched into fists. The man suddenly realized that he probably looked rather fearful, and, judging by Elio’s face, which had slightly moved back, he definitely had to calm down. No matter how angry Oliver was, he least wanted to scare Elio.

"Oliver ..." Elio whispered, barely audibly and tried to reach for him. "But Derek and I ... We ... He ... He never ..." Obviously, the boy could not formulate his thought.

"What? Do you want to try to reassure me that you and Derek had never fucked?" - the man forced himself to unclench his fists so as not to look like a maniac killer.

"No, but ... He never was ... Um ... top" - he was covered with a blush.

Oliver froze in amazement and could not say a word out of himself.

"I could not ... I really wanted to, but could not be with him the way I was with you. He barely touched me, as a panic attack started! Because it seems, my mind, my body, and my soul had agreed with each other and do not want to love anyone except you!" - Elio was still sitting on the couch, he could not believe what had just slipped from his lips.

"What did you say?" - the man stared at the teenager with all his eyes. He was sure that he misunderstood Elio`s words.

_"I love you, Oliver"._

  
No. It seemed to him exactly. Surely this was all hangover. In despair, the man clutched his head, turned around sharply, and almost ran back to the bedroom, leaving the bewildered boy sitting on the couch at a loss. "This is some kind of nonsense. It just can't be. Could I understand everything so wrong? Maybe Elio is not here at all? Maybe it's all dreaming to me?" - Oliver rushed around the bedroom like a lion in a cage, still holding his head.

"Oliver ..." came a small voice from the doorway.

The familiar dark bush of hair squeezed inside - the boy looked frightened and agitated. The man froze, staring at either the uninvited guest or the hungover hallucination.

"Are you okay? Can I come in?" - definitely a hallucination. Elio would hardly ask permission to enter. Oliver stood still, staring at a figment of his imagination. The dark bush of hair not waiting for an answer entered the bedroom with the rest of Elio. He slowly approached the man, looking him straight in the eyes, until finally he came close and pressed his whole body against the stunned Oliver. His hands gently reached for his neck and clasped it tightly.

_"I love you, do you hear me?"_

Oliver stared into Elio’s eyes without stopping, admiring each golden speck in green madness. His words sounded as if from a distance. As if the boy did not stand next to him there. The frightened man squeezed his eyes and wanted to run away again, but his lover’s hands held his head tightly.

"Look at me!" - Elio said it in such a confident and strict tone that he opened his eyes rather more because of surprise. His beloved's serious, focused face was a few millimeters from his own. Elio looked at him with such warmth and tenderness in his eyes that the accumulated tension, perplexity and anger evaporated as if by magic. "Or maybe it’s not a hallucination or a dream?" Oliver could not believe his own thoughts. He wanted only the one thing - to shout about his feelings in response. Let it was in vain, even if it all seemed to him or seemed like a dream, but he had to answer.

_"I love you, Elio"._

The dark bush of hair just pressed closer to his cheek, and soft lips gently kissed his neck. Oliver finally allowed himself to believe in everything and firmly embraced his lover.

A few minutes passed before Elio leaned back slightly, freeing himself from Oliver's embrace. He still smiled warmly, and although he had literally moved a millimeter, the man panicked and felt the emptiness and wrapped his arms around his lover with even greater force, not wanting to let him go.

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere", quietly whispered the boy, while he was squeezed to the limit.

But Oliver did not think to loosen his grip. Oliver desperately did not want to let go of his beloved. He wanted to make sure of the soundness of his own mind. Young professor hastily found Elio's lips with his lips. He dropped a quiet, strangled moan, while his hands flew up to Oliver's hair. This kiss was not like any of those that they had before - it was full of love and affection. Elio purred so softly in a kiss, like a little kitten, who was finally petted. The heat was spreading in Oliver's chest and it seemed to absorb the whole city! He felt so happy. They lost track of time while they stood there, kissing eagerly. Sunset sun rays, which penetrated through the gaps in the curtains, were reminded of the existence of the whole basic world.

"Are you okay?" - Elio came to himself first, not without difficulty tearing himself from the lips of his beloved.

"Me okay..." Oliver did not want to talk. He wanted time to stop moving so shamelessly quickly, and this moment remained with them forever. The man timidly stretched his hands to Elio's face, clasped it on both sides and kissed the lips of his lover ono more time.

"Would you like to do this with me?" - asked Oliver, he was blushing (which he did not expect).

"What are you talking about?" - Elio stared at him with blank eyes.

"Would you like ... uh ... to make love to me?"

"Well, we did it, remember? On the table at my aunt, in your office ..." - Elio did not have time to finish his thought, as he was interrupted by another kiss from Oliver. This time the kiss was more passionate.

"You did not understand me", the man said, exhaling into the lover’s lips, "Would you like to be inside of me?"

Oliver saw the astonishment of fright on the boy's face.

"You don’t have to if you don’t want ..." Oliver began, but Elio cut him off in the middle of the phrase with a kiss of a completely different nature. The boy literally cut his lips into the mouth of his lover, and his nimble tongue was already running inside. His hands tightened even more tightly in Oliver's hair and gently pulled, hinting at a break.

"I want you!" - Elio pushed the man on the bed behind them with force, - "And I will do with you what I dreamed for a long time!" - He smiled predatorily and stretched to the edges of his T-shirt to take it off.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All your comments are much appreciated!


	20. Swap places. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. Sorry that the translation of the chapter was delayed again. The week was just awful. What an incredible amount of work has fallen on me?! And I had an awful fight with my husband. He even left the house. Therefore, I was in no mood to do anything but to sob all day long. So... here is almost the end of this story ;)

Elio could not believe, what was happening right now in front of his eyes. Right in front of him on the bed, Oliver laid ready for anything that the boy could do. Oliver had already managed to get rid of his own T-shirt remaining in sweatpants, through whose light fabric a rather impressive erection was already very noticeable and Elio hadn’t even touched the man! He himself was hardly hard. The desire that flared up in his body from the kisses was washed away, as soon as he really realized what Oliver wanted from him. No, he clearly understood that he madly wanted this, that this was exactly what they both needed now. Again it was not clear where the fear came from, but Elio did not intend to surrender. He damn loved this man and wanted him so badly. How could he let fear prevent himself? Successfully overcoming the first wave of horror that knocks down, Elio gracefully climbed onto the bed and loomed over Oliver, who was already breathing heavily. Without hesitation a second more, the young man kissed roughly into the lover's neck and heard a loud roar in his ear, which unequivocally hinted at the degree of arousal of a man.

" _Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!_ Even the thought about it drives me crazy! Take off those damn pants and fuck me!" - Oliver demanded while the boy was continuing to cover his neck and collarbone with kisses.

"Did you think about that? Dreamed about this moment?" - Elio was curious and finally began to overcome a wave of horror.

"Ah! Yes!" - Oliver breathed noisily when Elio's lips found his nipple.

Oliver was ready to meet his lover with his whole body, and Elio, who was well aware of this, could not be excited with every second more and more. Oliver arched his back and an impressive erection rested against his thigh. It seemed that all that actions drove away the last wave of fear from Elio. The young man began to pull his pants off his lover impatiently, exposing Oliver’s expiring cock. Elio completely forgot to take care of himself; he attacked an erection that was eager for attention with his lips. The salty-sweet taste of his man drove him crazy and made him take it in his mouth more and more. The man moaned sweetly, he spread his legs wider and tried with all his strength to hold on to the sheets. Seeing Oliver likes that, feeling his taste in his own tongue, hearing his loud moans — that was more than exciting! His own cock was more than hard; it painfully rested against his trousers. There was neither strength nor desire to tolerate this, so the young man allowed himself to interrupt from his more than fascinating occupation and hastily pull his pants off along with the already soaked underwear. An unplanned respite from the caresses came for Oliver just in time. The man was already on the very edge of the abyss of orgasm, where he was absolutely not going to fall without Elio`s cock in his ass.

The boy proudly looked at his lover lying in front of him. Oliver looked so sexy that one glance at him was enough for Elio's cock to start oozing with natural lubricant, dripping obscenely on the floor. Oliver laid exactly in the middle of the bed, his legs spread invitingly to the sides; a hard, pulsating desire cock left wet marks on the belly of its owner; chest and neck covered with traces of a kiss; open mouth, disheveled hair ... and his magic blue eyes. Elio looked at him as if hypnotized. He could not stop admiring the picture in front of him.

"Elio ..." Oliver grumbled in a half-whisper, hinting at the continuation of the prelude.

Returning to reality, the boy quickly climbed back on the bed and comfortably settled between the legs of his beloved. He ran his hand from the man’s neck to his erection, causing a new attack of strangled moans in his lover. He slowly tore off his hand and was ready to lick two of his own fingers, as Oliver’s hard hand interrupted his movements.

"Is something wrong? Do you want me to stop?" - asked Elio surprised and scared at the same time.

"No no! God, _you`ll kill me if you stop_!" - Muttered Oliver, - "I just wanted to say that I have a lubricant. There, in the nightstand on the right", - he waved in the direction of the inconspicuous side table, which stood by the bed.

"Where did you get the lube?" - Elio did not know what to think. Did Oliver lie to him and he had partners during their separation? Obviously, his confusion was too clearly reflected on his face, as Oliver hurried with explanations at that very second.

"I had no one but you, Elio, I swear!"

"Then why do you need a lubricant?" - The boy still could not come up with a reasonable explanation for the fact of the presence of lube from his partner.

"I told you that I thought about you all the time... I dreamed about how you would fuck me," - Oliver raised himself on his elbows still not interrupting eye contact and reached out with his hand to the now surprised face of the boy.

"Did you ... did you use it for yourself?" - Elio asked.

"Yes".

" _Show me!_ Show me how!" - The boy leaned forward to meet his lover and dug a rough kiss on his lips.

Elio watched as Oliver dutifully reached across the bedside table and took out a rather large tube with a transparent gel-like liquid from the top drawer. Having splashed a decent amount of lubricant on his hand, the man became convinced that most of it fell on his fingers. He rubbed the gel thoroughly and laid back into his place right before the lover's eyes. He slowly raised his hand to the anus and began to draw circles around the small hole. The second hand, meanwhile, began to caress his chest, occasionally stopping to pay more attention to hardened nipples, tightly squeezing them. Elio watched in fascination as one at a time, and then two Oliver’s fingers disappeared into his body. The man went groaning and curved toward his own hand.

"ElioElioElioElio," Oliver said with every movement of his hand.

The young man himself did not notice how his own hand squeezed a ring around his cock, and the lubricating lake formed under his erection accurately implied the washing of bed linen. He could not hold back any longer, otherwise, he would have come without even start. With a light but steady movement, Elio impatiently moved his man’s hand, leaving the already prepared muscle ring open to himself. He decided that a little more lubrication would not hurt them since he intended to fuck his lover properly. A small show with masturbation had an obvious impact on the young man, and he was ready to literally tear his man apart from desire. Elio splashed some more lube on his hand and spread it on his erection with already ragged movements with impatience. He had settled himself more comfortably between his lover`s legs than threw Oliver's legs on his shoulders and began to thrust inside the desired body. He planned to move slowly and carefully, but he wanted Oliver too much, so he entered in one sharp movement. The man below him moaned loudly, arched toward him as best he could, he threw his head back, opening his neck for kisses. Elio immediately eagerly dug his lips into the dimple behind the ear of his beloved; he began to move his hips faster and sharper. The room was filled with the sounds of their heated bodies and their loud moans and the prayers to God or appeals to the Devil.

Elio felt the waves of surging pleasure were slowly pushing him toward the edge. But he was not ready to finish this magical evening, especially since he was going to give even more pleasure to his lover first, who moaned more and more with each second of their love action. Elio stopped and pulled out of a man who had breathed deeply from astonishment.

"Roll over on your stomach," - the young man did not expect from himself such a tone, but obviously, he enjoyed the humility of his beloved. Oliver obediently turned over on his stomach and slightly raised his hips up less than half a second.

Elio entered the muscle ring, giving himself up to the sensations until the end. He, again and again, stuck his lover’s neck with kisses or bites, while he was dipping into his lover`s body quickly and rigidly. There was not a centimeter free of touch of the skin; they were tightly pressed to each other. Elio supported himself with one hand by resting on the mattress, while the other was playing with the right nipple of his man.

"You're so tight! God, it feels so good ..." - a young man could only whisper in his lover's ear. It seemed that Oliver could not hear him. The man moaned loudly, he was shuddering with all his body and Oliver came on the sheets crumpled under him. The unexpectedness and brightness of his lover's orgasm finally drove Elio insane, who was already on the verge. The boy brought himself to the very edge in two or three movements, and he came deep in his lover with a loud cry.

* * *

 

A few minutes passed before Elio knew where he was. He laid on the bed barely breathing, while Oliver was stroking his thigh gently.

"Thank God, I already began to worry," - Oliver mumbled softly, snuggling closer to the boy.

"Have I passed out again?" - Elio could not believe what had just happened.

"Not for long. After you gave me, it seems, the best orgasm in my life and came, you fell on the bed completely exhausted and did not open your eyes so far. You were shaking, but judging by the expression of the face from the pleasure".

"Damn, that was awesome!" - With these words, he reached out to meet his beloved face and ran his fingers along Oliver's cheek. Finally, he was able to rise and kiss his lover on the lips. Gently this time. All the passion that was in him found solace in Oliver's body, well, or already on the sheets, - "How are you?"

Oliver smiled broadly and hugged Elio tighter.

"I`m more than happy. Because you are here with me now", - Oliver looked at the young man with the most gentle look.

"I'm with you, Oliver. I love you!"

"And I love you," - the man reached forward again for a kiss.

The happy lovers lazily kissed for a few more minutes, until finally, Elio recoiled to make sure that this was not a dream. That they were together again and they loved each other. He stared into the alluring depth of Oliver’s eyes and could not take his eyes off. They laid so opposite each other, enclosed in the arms of tenderness and just looked into each other's eyes until the evening outside the window was replaced by the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to text me (in comments or in insta "lenadavinci") if you find mistakes. Thank you for your understanding and support.


	21. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers, I have completed the translation of my first and so far the only creation. It was incredibly difficult for me, I was ready to leave everything halfway, but I did not give up just because of your support. Many thanks to everyone who read and commented on my humble work. You are the best fandom in the world!

Elio hardly ever dreamed about a quiet and peaceful life, but the last few weeks were just wonderful. They finally had a proper relationship with Oliver. Shortly after the fateful recognition of feelings to each other in Oliver’s apartment, the young lovers returned to working life with no less enthusiasm than to almost uninterrupted lovemaking. Oliver quickly recovered and rushed to his work like a hungry wolf on a defenseless sheep. In just a few days, he quickly returned to his best form. The young professor was excellent at his lectures (Elio stared at Oliver with a passionate look all the lessons), he brilliantly coped with the tasks from the head of the department, he stopped his visits to the bar and even started running again in the morning. Elio could not be happier for his partner. Oliver looked really happy. He smiled, joked, made fun on lectures and almost started dancing every time he saw Elio. Despite the tight schedule of both, they often found time for meetings. They even repeated a hot sex in the professor's office a couple of times. Basically, all their sexual activity has moved to Oliver’s apartment, which has become divine (thanks to the efforts of Elio, of course). Aunt May returned and Elio’s apartment seemed to miss the sexual atmosphere that reigned in it, which had grown to a universal scale during the absence of aunt. The ill-fated couch looked particularly bored; it did not wait for its turn. It looked with envy from its corner on the table of debauchery, which got all the fun. Every morning at breakfast with Aunt May, Elio could not help but return to the memories that were inflaming his blood. His cheeks were blushing and he could barely find the strength to eat. As it turned out, keeping relations in a secret was not so difficult. The guys were quiet; they behaved at the university as they had agreed - strictly professional.  All the passion accumulated during the separation was actively splashed out in the evening at Oliver`s apartment. Oliver had to come to terms with the friendship between Elio and Derek. As well as to control his gaze of the serial killer which came out every time Oliver saw Elio and his neighbor chatted at the last desk. The professor even had to succumb to the entreaties of his lover, and join him and Derek during one of their weekly walks. However, he did not stop to call Derek "stinking bartender". Elio found it necessary to inform his parents about the changes in the status of their relationship with Oliver. He received joyful congratulations not only from his mom and dad but also from Mafalda, who was obviously delighted almost more than anyone else. But he didn't want to upset her with the news that now the most delicious food was only from the hands of Oliver.

Oliver and Elio could not be together properly without their gratitude to the main "culprit" - Debs. Therefore, the boy chose the most charming earrings he had seen in his life in a jewelry store with the permission of his man. And he divided with him the purchase in half, despite the protests of Oliver. Parents transferred him more than enough money each month, and he could hardly spend half of it. Elio packed the purchase and selected a luxurious bouquet in addition. So he went back to the university to arrange a real surprise for Debbie. The guys hid the box in Oliver’s perpetual mess on the table. While Elio obediently waited with a bouquet of flowers in his arms, Oliver measured the room with nervous steps. Debbie burst into Oliver`s office and froze on the threshold in amazement.

"Debs, forgive us for tearing you away from work and luring you with arrogant lies, but we just wanted to say thank you and hand over this modest bouquet as a token of our gratitude,” Oliver said loudly, while the young secretary continued to stand in the doorway in absolute stupor, - "We ... I, Debbie, I don't know what I would do without you. You have been my best friend all this time! You did not turn away when I told you the whole truth and helped me to fight for my happiness. I don’t know if I ever can thank you properly. So this is just the beginning!"

"Yes, Debbie, even though we have known each other for only a few weeks, you are already like my sister. Oliver would hardly have dared on something without your help ... Therefore, you will honor us if you accept not only this bouquet but also something else", - with these words, Elio carefully removed the box from under Oliver's mess and slowly approached Debs, who was still completely immobilized.

Naturally, as soon as the young secretary opened a gift prepared for her, her joyful squeal rang out over the entire campus, followed by long, happy hugs. The poor girl burst into tears and could not stop randomly saying “thank you!”. Oliver and Elio, satisfied and kissed by her, could barely calm the lucky woman and caused another storm of emotions with their revealing kiss for Debs.

* * *

 

 

Because of the huge amount of work of work, our lovers had completely forgotten about their plans for a grandiose romantic date. It was more accurate to say that Elio had forgotten about it, absorbed in his studies and orgasms. Oliver, on the contrary, was actively preparing. He planned to arrange for his beloved the best evening in his life. Therefore, when both of them finally coincided on the schedule at the end of the week - the man set the date for the “big romantic night” without hesitation.

"Mr. Perlman, could you wait a minute, please!" - The loud voice of the professor made everyone stand still in the audience. Elio's classmates exhaled lightly and left the office one by one. They left their fellow student to the mercy of a strict professor.

"How can I help you? Is something wrong?" - Elio did not even think about leaving the role of an obedient student because somebody could enter the audience at any moment.

"Yes, Mr. Perlman, you didn’t perform well in your last essay on the philosophy of ancient Rome, so I have to assign you an additional lesson on this topic. Let's say tomorrow at 7 pm in Central Park", said Oliver with a completely impenetrable face and without a trace of embarrassment.

"Oh, let me ask if all your students are honored to listen to your course individually?" - Elio played along as best he could, meanwhile, the atmosphere in the class was quickly filled with a desire that almost sparkled between the young people.

"Well, I do it only for the most hopeless ... I am waiting for you in the park at the main entrance at exactly 7. You must come prepared".

"I'll definitely come!" - Elio disappeared behind the door with a sly wink.

* * *

 

 

Elio was looking forward to Friday night because there was almost time for the most mysterious invitation from his man. He really completely forgot that before all this fuss with mutual confessions and the ensuing hours-long sex marathon, they had agreed to meet in a romantic atmosphere. Therefore, the boy was more than excited. He didn’t meet with Oliver either on Thursday or on Friday afternoon, and the man didn’t call. Which meant that Elio’s curiosity and imagination had already managed to write all the possible ways to spend a date in his head. He had no idea where Oliver was going to lead him, so he spent half the day in the closet trying to decide what to wear. No more than a couple of hours remained before the date, but he didn`t choose anything ... Only a friendly advice could save the situation! The phone that had already called to Derek was in his hands at the speed of light.

"Hello".

"Derek, this is a tragedy!"

"What? Elio? What happened?"

"God, it's just a disaster!"

"Oh Lord, speak faster, what happened? Do you feel bad? Is something wrong with Oliver?"

"We are going on a date today, but I do not know what to wear!"

"What? Are you serious? I almost lost my mind here, but the problem is that you don’t know what to wear?" - Derek was seriously angry.

"Forgive me, forgive me! I didn't mean to scare you. But this is really a disaster! I looked through the whole clothes, and I cannot decide! - Elio was amused by his girlish behavior.

"So, calm down! When is the date?"

"In two hours!"

"It seems you are a drama queen, Elio" - Derek changed his temper justice to mercy and now frankly teased his friend, - "Do you remember that day we met? You were wearing such a completely cool sweater with  buttons on the back?"

"Yes ... I completely forgot about it. Do you think I should wear it?"

"Definitely! It is insanely sexy! Your gloomy bogey will definitely like it" - mutual dislike flashed through the speeches of both men sometimes.

"I knew that you'll help me. Thanks, Derek! And once again I'm sorry for the trouble!"

"You're welcome, friend. And have a good evening!"

The solution was found, so Elio instantly rushed to the bathroom to have time to take a shower and get ready. Standing under warm streams of water, the boy could not help, but recall the words of Oliver: "You must come prepared." He wondered what Oliver meant. It was unlikely that it belonged to his ass, because if a date was planned, then all the preparation was a waste of time. The only other solution to this problem was the razor, which looked at the young man with a reproach. Without hesitation, Elio carefully got rid of all the hair in certain places on his body. Even if Oliver didn’t mean exactly that, in any case, he would definitely like such a turn of events. He had found a sweater with buttons (mother's gift on his birthday) and wore his best jeans. Elio arranged a real battle with curls on his head. It took almost 40 minutes until finally he was pleased with his appearance and went on a long-awaited date.

* * *

 

 

 

After about three hours, Elio came to his senses. He barely was able to stand on his feet, while his mouth was attacked by Oliver near a kiosk with cotton candy. They spent an absolutely amazing evening on Coney Island in an amusement park. Oliver rode with him on all the rides, he fed the boy plenty of hot dogs and caramel apples and even won a teddy bear in a dash for him. Now they were kissing on the very edge of the park behind the kiosk.

"Can we go home?" - Elio was already hardly able to think from desire.

"Your wish is my command!" - Oliver made a fancy reverence and squeezed tightly the boy's hand.

The whole trip on the subway and a walk to the house has already begun to seem like a real torture to Elio. Why the hell is this park so far away? He almost jumped for joy, when finally, they turned off the corner on the last street on their way. The staircase stubbornly did not want to end, and the man seemed to be in no hurry to go home. Right at the door, he stopped abruptly and froze in indecision.

"Elio?" - Oliver called his lover.

"What happened?" - The young man has already started to panic a little. The behavior of his partner was more than strange.

"Elio ... I wanted to ask you ..." - he shifted from foot to foot.

"What? Speak now!"

"I know,  a little time has past and probably, I am making a mistake now ... and you will turn around and leave ... But I can't live without you, Elio. So, I wanted to ask, maybe you ... Maybe ... You ... _Do you want to move in and live with me??_ " - Oliver stopped talking in waiting for a response.

Elio was speechless for a moment. He just stood and looked at his lover with big surprised eyes. Until, finally, the meaning of what had been said did not reach him, and the already familiar flow of heat rushed directly into his heart.

"Yes" - Elio replied shortly, never taking his eyes off his man. Now they wouldn`t have to part for the night.

Oliver covered the distance between them in a couple of steps and pressed his lips to Elio’s lips in a tender kiss.

"I was afraid that you would have to be persuaded ... Therefore, I bought some weighty argument for your moving" - Elio did not understand what the man was talking about.

Oliver quickly coped with the lock on the front door and opened it for Elio. There was a piano in the corner of the room.

"Oh my God, Oliver! Did you buy a piano for me?!" - Elio did not remember himself from delight. He ran into the room, forgetting about everything. The young man carefully lifted the lid and ran his hand over the keys, he didn`t press it but watched in fascination as his own fingers lightly touched the instrument.

"Will you play for me?" - Softly asked Oliver, who watched at the meeting of the musician and his instrument.

"In the middle of the night? I think that yours ... _our_ neighbors will not be delighted" - Elio closed the lid over the keys and rushed into the arms of his man, - "Well, how can I thank you? You bought me a piano! God, now I can play!!! I have never been so happy, Oliver".

"I love to watch you play. In addition, it seems I know one wonderful way of expressing gratitude. The thought about it stuck in my head since I saw these damn buttons on your back", - Oliver playfully squeezed Elio's buttocks with his hands and reached for a kiss.

The kiss soon again went beyond just gentle, it turned the lovers into a pair of bodies eager for physical intimacy. Elio had already quietly purred into a kiss like a little kitten. These sounds were causing goosebumps all over Oliver’s body. Finally, the young man found the strength to break away from his beloved and gently ran his thumb over the lower lip of his partner. Elio was standing there in the living room of their future home in the arms of his beloved and he did not prevent the warmth from his chest to find expression in the words.

 ** _"Call me by your name and I`ll call you by mine"_ ** -  Elio whispered into the evening silence, he echoed the words of his beloved from their first night.

"Oliver" - the man mumbled back, smiling from ear to ear.

"Elio" - the young man gently answered at the call sign.

"Oliver".

"Elio".

Oliver Elio Oliver Elio Elio Elio Oliver Elio ... 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special thanks to the lovely girl and a real friend - bellarosa for all her help! She was the first one who supported me and I really grateful to her. And once again, thank you all for your support!

**Author's Note:**

> I will be grateful for any feedback


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